my son is 14 years old and now days i feel drastic change in his behavior i dont know how to handle him i fee?

Question

i feel he is goign on wrong track but he doesnt like to listen irritate n me alot and dosent like to study as of his behavior i am not well iam very close to him i love my son but now i feel he doesnt tell me how to handle him

Answer 1

My son did something really similar -- dyed his hair, got his ear pierced, etc. I had to learn to really back off, and let him make a lot of decisions on his own, which I hated. However, I really had to pick my battles or we would have fought about EVERYTHING! The rules I insisted upon were: he had to go to school and pass, he had to tell me where he was going and be where he said he was going, he had to be home when I told him to be home, and he needed to be respectful when he spoke to me. One thing I suggest to you that really helped me, is don't let him draw you into arguments. If your son asks to do something and you say no, don't even speak to him when he starts asking why. Just say, "My answer is no." He will start saying you are stupid and your reason is stupid and all of that. I used to just go away from my son and close my bedroom door, I didn't argue with him -- I just kept my position. And, you'll be happy to know, the psychosis passes! My son is 17 now, and he totally ROCKS! Yours will too!

Answer 2

Your boy is going through a transformation from boyhood to manhood. There are a lot of hormonal changes and anatomical additions in his body. These are the resultants of all that, that you are observing out of his behavior.

You recollect your own days when you started getting your periods for the first times. Almost same are the problems with your son. He is observing every thing what all is going on with his body and his mind and his thinking. Eventually he is feeling confused and does not know what to do.

You should spend more time with him, talk with him, laugh with him, touch him, hug him and do all that what you were doing before a couple of years.

Rescue him out of the spell of self-cautiousness. Convince him with your behavior that nothing has changed between you and him since he was born. Let him know that you are a mother who loves him the most and he is a part of you and your life.

Answer 3

He is a typical teenager. He's trying to grow up and be independent. But...he doesn't have the skill yet to make good choices for himself every time. Where is his father? Can he help you talk to your son, or do you have a brother or father who could take him out to a sporting event for a day and talk to him about the importance of getting a good education and studying hard? Are his friends drop-outs? If so, maybe you need to get him into a group (like an after school sports club or something) where they teach them to value education; Keep talking to him. Just because he defies you now, doesn't mean he isn't listening. He just may do the right thing when push comes to shove, if you keep talking to him so he knows you care.

Answer 4

I know this change in him must hurt you. This Tues. was my dad's birthday and he's an alcoholic. I called first and then went to pick him up to take him out for his b-day. When I got there he said he couldn't go anymore because he was too drunk to drive. This deeply hurt my feelings because I had called first to make sure he was okay to go, you know. Anyways, I was really hurt, but I dusted off my shoulders and went to the restaurant anyway. I ordered him his favorite dish and then I brought it back to him. He was very grateful and ate it with much appreciation. What am I saying here? Iam not condoning my father's behavior, but I do want him to see that no matter what I still love him. The same with your son. Pray for him and show him that no matter what he does you still love him. Nobody is perfect. Prayfully he will change when he sees your unconditional love for him.

Answer 5

i don't comprehend if this a troll or the actual deal, however the anger on your message needless to say would desire to be felt. yet i'm no shrink the two. So right here the low down. he's 14 and and someway, his cloth wardrobe isn't the main appropriate greater healthful, no longer to indicate the main appropriate gender. Thinks that's a humorous tale, or had of venture with a number of his acquaintances that he will try this, asserting he's only too lots of a "girly" guy to win the dare. My guess he only needs to have relaxing, or became attempting to no longer pay the disguise charge. (i do no longer what golf equipment will permit a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous in anyway) extremely of being cool (or masculine approximately it) and finding what made him dress up like Dolly Parson, you beat him for wearing a purple tutu. For this he calls the law enforcement officials on you, curses you being an actual minded freak. you prefer to law enforcement officials to regulate your son, yet all they care approximately is you beating him mindless. so they arrest you, then are despatched to the closest pass bar inn for some days to think of it over. maximum possibly for a kin charge and toddler endangerment and/or abuse. meaning that maximum places of criminal employment won't hire because of the fact of that. which might maximum possibly will screw you and your loved ones out of an earnings. meaning which you and your loved ones will have not have been given any nutrition, no water no look after, no funds, and no thank you to able take care of themselves because of the fact of your "previous formed" tactics. you're actually out of penal complex, executed some time and you nevertheless prefer to rigidity your "previous college" values on your son. and you're saying there is not any restraining order out on you.... back, as I even have stated earlier, i'm no shrink, yet you have gotten some themes of your individual do cope with. the way I see it, there became no longer something 'masculine' appropriate to the variety you dealt with the completed ordeal. in case you haven't any longer figured it out by utilising now, leave your son on my own. showing previous formed values the variety you probably did isn't well worth it, as you experienced. neither is it going to alter him. Hell, you're fortunate sufficient that the state hasn't took him removed from you, no longer to indicate him being a runaway or perhaps permit him stay below the comparable roof with you. that's my propose and my guess. What you do from right here on out is as much as you.

Answer 6

Well raging hormones at this age can be the cause. Don't be too alarmed it's normal for them to want some space at this age and test their limits with you. Just try to give him more space if you can it doesn't mean that he loves you any less he is just trying to grow up. but do watch for signs of withdrawal from his friends or not eating because may signal other problems. Good Luck and take care.

Answer 7

Its the age. They want to rebel and go against you. Its no longer cool to be close to you for him. It hurts and it sucks, but its the teen years. The best bet is to hold your groound as a parent adn disaplin when needed, but still make efforts with him. Talk to him about his day, everyday. One in a while take him somewhere he'd like to go, get him something he'd like.. let him have friends over.. be the cool dad, he'll be more willing to open p again. Either that, or wait til college. He'll be your best friend again... yea you and your wallet.

Answer 8

14 year old.. I have one of those. Right now he's going through physical changes, hormone changes, and is in a hurry to be an adult. Or be treated like one. They don't want to be told what to do, but they can't make good decisions on their own yet. They don't want to go to school or study, can't get a job yet, but they want you to buy them that ipod everyone has. Its a difficult age for everyone involved. My best advice is to just keep pushing him, but to make sure that you still make yourself openly available for them to talk to.. keep communication open. Give them some freedom to make more decisions.. but help them decide what those are.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Here's his problem - he's 14. Take a deep breath, if you have any Valium you might take a handful of those, and wait because he'll grow out of it. I've had four 14 y.o.'s and they're all pretty much the same. Just don't give up on him.

Answer 10

Apart from medical reason there is one philosophical reason.
He is in transition stage.
Up till now girl or boy there is no difference mentally. They not even know or give importance to the difference in body structure.The seventh part of our food - sexual vital fluid is so for used to build body and brain up to 15 years. after completing the structure it is collected in the sexual organs.
This is a peculiar experience to boys and girls.
Thus adolescent period starts for human beings from 14 to 19 (Teen age).
In this back ground you treat your son - love him - share your experience as you have passed that period too.
Best wishes for you both.