Is this Normal? Should I be concerned? Please help!?

Question

My 5 yr old daughter has a fascination with her weight. She is rather tall for her age & quite slim. I tell her she is beautiful all the time. Recently my mother and I have been doing a womens weight loss program ( through healthy well balanced diets & Exercise.) I figure this is what her fascination is from. I am concerned because I'm wondering if this may result in an eating disorder for her. I know it sounds crazy, but I don't think she should be concerned with her appearance. I am just hoping we are influencing Healthy Eating & Active Lifestyle. She is active, and a good eater, but I worry about her concern? Is this normal, should I worry? Could her fascination cause her to have an eating disorder later in life? Why does she care about her appearance so much?

Answer 1

If you spend all the time worrying about your weight in front of her, or saying you look fat it could cause a problem. Instead of using the words 'weight loss' or 'dieting' try saying 'exercise' and 'eating healthily' or 'eating balanced meals.' Do not allow your mom to talk about the 'weight loss' program in front of her. Try not to stress too much that you have lost so much weight, or weigh so much now. It CAN cause an obsession which will lead to an eating disorder. Trust me, I know.

Edit: Also, just telling her how pretty SHE is, is not necessarily going to help things. She needs to know that you think that you look good, too. If she hears you say, Oh, honey, you are so pretty/skinny, in one breath, then, Oh, I am so fat in the other....and if she does not think you are, then this will be damaging. Also, stress that you love yourself no matter what, and she should love herself no matter what, too. That is a very impressionable age and often we mimic the behaviors that we see repeatedly. I'm not trying to be cruel, just trying to help prevent a problem.

Answer 2

Actually, this could cause her to develop body/self esteem issues, but only if you yourself obsess about your weight loss. If every time you eat something or not in front of her, and make comments about how fattening it it, or it isn't on your diet, or how much or how little weight you are losing, she will pick up on it. The more you talk about dieting and losing weight, the more she will think dieting and being thin is important. Dieting can be important if you really need it, but a girl that young doesn't understand. If you need to stress about your diet, just make sure it is when she is at school or somewhere that she won't overhear you. The less she knows about "dieting" the less chance it will be a problem. If all she knows is that mom eats healthy and exercises, then she will be fine and will eat healthy, too.

Answer 3

Girls that grow up around mothers who are constantly dieting and have a negative self image have shown an increased instance of eating disorders. Do not talk about your diet around her, do not use the words "diet", "weight loss", etc around her. DO use the words "Healthy lifestyle", and POSITIVE language around her. Do not express discomfort about your weight around her. DO instill good eating and exercise habits in her, and tell her that she is beautiful, as you have been doing. You need to feel beautiful about yourself and be comfortable about yourself. If she sees you constantly trying to lose those last 5 stubborn pounds, rather than being happy with who you are, she will pick up on this and feel she has to lose those last 5 stubborn pounds, too. You are right to be concerned. If you take the steps now, you will keep her from an eating disorder down the line.

Answer 4

She's 5 and she's becoming aware of herself and the differences between her and others. You should make sure that she knows that you and your mother are going by guidelines of how much you should weigh by height and that you are just trying to make healthier decisions. Teach her to be active and eat healthy foods and she should be fine. If you obsess about your weight in front of her, she's going to learn that she has to be worried about her weight her whole life. If you make activity and healthy eating a way of life, she should be fine.

Answer 5

My 3 1/2 year old does this too. I think its because my friends and are are always talking about losing weight and dieting. so I try to talk more about eating healthy, and she has really picked up on that, rather than talking about dieting. I think she will be just fine!!!

Answer 6

I know I got my obsession with my weight from listening to my mom and her sisters and their mom. I would advise you not to talk about weight or weight loss or size loss or fitting in clothes at all in front of your daughter. Just talk about being healthy and having healthy hearts and all of that when you talk about doing the program.

Answer 7

She's just copying her mommy.. Just make sure she has 3 well balanced meals a day and stays active she will be fine, she is only 5..So I wouldnt worry about it...

Answer 8

Children often mimic what they see. She sees that in a sense you and your mother are concerned about your weight and she just wants to fit in. If her appetite is normal then I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Answer 9

well one thing. she is a girl. all girls care about how pritty they are. As far as a eating disorder.... well it could happen, but I would not stress it. that happens when they are in high school, and junior high. Just teach her that food is important and eating is great. just that exercise is great also. I think she will be fine

Answer 10

thats so crazy how little girls think....my son is 5 and he could care less but maybe its just bc hes a boy....you shouldnt tell her ur tryin to loose weight but instead that u are just tryin to be healthy and active....ur her mom so of course she looks up to u and wants to do the same things u do.....