I have been dating this guy for about 3 months now and the relationship is going very good. We don't argue and he treats me great. He works a well paying full time job and lives with his older brother. Since me and him been together he have spent every night for the past 3 months at my apartment. Majority of his free time is at my apartment. Should I be asking him for money? Is he living off me? He haven't offered me money to pay any bills. Though he make way more money then me and only have to pay his brother $200 a month. While my motnhly living expenses is over $800 a month. What should I do?
2006-11-16 03:28:15 · 21 answers · asked by Tish 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm reading everyone's answer and I am taking it into consideration. He does buy food and cooks in my apartment frequently. I will not bring this matter to his attention.
2006-11-16 03:56:14 · update #1
no you should not.
just be clear that you two are maintaining your seperate lives.
If he isn't living there full-time (moved in for real) you don't have the right to ask for money.
You are a very bad person for even contemplating this.
2006-11-16 03:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you handle the truth?
Yeah, if he is living with you every single night for three months, come on, he is using you! If he hasn't offered to chip in on expenses, it shows he is not serious, he does not want to give up his $200 place to crash with his brother because he doesn't anticipate staying with you.
I don't know if you should ask for the money though. The fact that he hasn't offered it already, says a lot and it's not too good. Don't let yourself be used!
Do you want him to "officially" move in? Then ask him; "Hey,how about giving up your brother's place and share this apartment with me?" Regardless of what he says, yes or no, you'll have a good idea on how to procede from that point on, don't you think?
If he says "no," it's like him saying "I'd rather just use you until someone else I like better comes along. You are convenient, but I don't like you THAT much." If he says "yes, that's a good idea, I was hoping you'd ask" and he would actually LIKE to make it official, split the costs and chores EQUALLY and fairly, and everyone's happy. You should not be his, or ANYONE's slave.
2006-11-16 03:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by Solo Parent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's spending time with you becasue both of you want that. he is not living with you. Don't be a golddigger or you will lose a good guy.
Why don't you spend sometime at his apartment? Take turns.
Don't bring money into this. It seems to me that you are getting greedy and see this opportunity to make money. So he eats at your house and uses your stuff - you are dating after all
Would you rather he pay you like a hotel bill??
2006-11-16 03:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by Centered 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you ask him for money, you need to first discuss your living arrangements. He may not view "staying with you" as "living with you." Perhaps the way to bring it up is to tell him that you feel the relationship is going very well but you want to make sure you are both on the same page. Be direct and be honest. Tell him that you enjoy "living" with him but there are also expenses associated with living together. Before you talk about it, come up with a contribution that you would expect (food, utilities, etc).
2006-11-16 03:32:25 · answer #4 · answered by WxEtte 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does not realise he is taking advantage as you would have to pay rent/heating/electricity etc whether he was there or not. If he is actually costing you more money that you would have been spending anyway than you should tell him and ask him to contibute. Or seen as you see each other all the time anyway he may as well move in then split everything 50/50
2006-11-16 03:33:26 · answer #5 · answered by Holraldo III 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just stop hanging out at your house. Three month is a little early to be moving in together. How about you suggest you take turns hanging out at each others places. Don't ask for money though, it would be wrong.
2006-11-16 03:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by What Do I Know? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well b4 you ask him for money, get into a serious conversation with him and be like " i think i have to move out i cant aford this anymore" or say u have to shut off the cable bill or some other bills, if he dosent feel any sympothy for you and he's staying with you and knows u need help then that sad, it should work doing it that way instead of asking him straight out for money
2006-11-16 03:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should explain to me that if you'll a couple then he needs to start acting like it and putting in some cash to help take care of things. That's only common sense to help with some bills iff he at your house anywayz.
2006-11-16 03:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. Why dont you stay at his house if money is a problem? He doens't need this drama and relationships don't work like that. Are you going to charge him a fee everytime he comes over?
maybe what YOU need to do is find someplace else to live that you can AFFORD on your OWN without pimping every visitor for a share of the cost of electricity and water usage.
2006-11-16 03:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you mean spending the night at your place only at night? does he live there like day and night, cook and stuff? if he does, you should ask for money or at least ask if he really wants to stay with you, he should start helping out.
2006-11-16 03:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋