My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now and live in New York. He is black and I am white.. I have no issues with this at all, and wouldn't even notice if it weren't made obvious by others.. I have no concern for other people's judgement or reservations about our relationship and I am completely comfortable with it. My family knows of it and have no issues either, although if they did it wouldn't matter to me either. I know he is comfortable and loving me too, but he has never been with a white woman before, nor had to bring one home to the family. I have met his father's side of the family and know many of them well, but he has yet to introduce me to his mother or mention introducing us... I'm sure it's because she'll have a strong opinion about it, but he assures me that's not an issue... I've got mixed feelings about this, and not sure if I should be feeling some kinda ways about it yet. He is close with his mother and I feel I should have met her by now.. Yes??
2006-11-16 03:09:35 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think it really depends. I was the first white girl my ex ever dated, but his whole family knew about me. He had alot of issues with it at first, but he got over it after a few months cause i do not play, and get annoyed with stupid crap like that real fast. He is also from new york and thats where most of his family is but as soon as he got comfortable with me, they all knew. It may just take time for him to really be comfortable with it, i think its different when introducing you to his mother as opposed to his father. Mother's are way more judgemental when it comes to their sons. Ask him about why it hasn't happened yet, and see what he says
good luck
2006-11-16 03:17:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt yet pass judgement on the Y's as far as not meeting the mother yet, i was dating my now hubby for about or over a yr before i took him to meet my family, and not for any other reason than, i wanted to make sure the relationship was going somewhere (not nessecarily marriage, just a long lasting relationship) before i subjected him to meeting my large and abundant family ....(and vice versa)
I do know where ur coming from though in terms of interracial dating.... my husband is white and im a mexican american, and as it turned out, my family accepted it fine....it was other ppl who had a problem with it. In making it work, all that really matters is how hard the 2 of u work to make ur relationship a success. If u both love eachother and are committed to making it work out the rest of the BS either fades away, or doesnt matter.
good luck
2006-11-16 03:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by bellajns666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 months in my book is quite long but perhaps it isn't long enough for him to introduce you to his mum. I don't mean that in a bad way so please don't take my statement in the wrong way. Perhaps his mum's opinion about the girl he's with is really important to him.. and if he's in any doubt that she may disapprove, he might feel uncomfortable as yet to let you two meet.
At the end of the day, if you have got the feeling it's because she'll have something to say about his choice of partner then you maybe need to ask yourself whether it really will matter to him if you and her don't get along too well? Maybe you should just discuss this with your boyfriend. He might be feeling a bit insecure about it.... or maybe he's scared that his mum will force you both into something more concrete and he's not ready for that yet....
Either way, i don't think you should dwell on it too much.. but maybe a mention to him about it playing on your mind will open up what the problems might be (if any).
2006-11-16 04:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeous_ami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a racial issue, or it could be his closeness to his mother. He may feel that you meeting his mother is a big step and is saving it for the right time. If it is a racial issue and you will stand by your man ragardless, then let it be. Give him time to be comfortable with the idea of introducing you to his mother and when the time comes then it will be very special. 8 Months is not that long and many people don't introduce their partner to their parents for much longer than that. Just enjoy your relationship with your man and let things happen in their own time. You are still going to be with him regardless of how his mother feels about you. My husband is italian and his family wanted him to marry an italian catholic girl, well guess what, i am neither. He did not let his parents get in the way of our relationship and i just hung in there with his family. Five years later they love me and we have a happy little family. It is probably just that his mother is protective of him and no girl will be good enough for her son. Just wait it out, it will all work out as long as you are good to her son.
2006-11-16 03:20:31 · answer #4 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Behrmark6 cited the only i might have suggested. even nonetheless i'm incredibly over it. I grew up contained in the 1960's Chicago with each and every of the race riots and the Democratic national convention (1968 that's) I wasn't raised to be racist. My father, a white guy from Canada became into the unique director of Soul practice while it became into nevertheless basically a community dance practice right here in Chicago. (confident, produced and MC'd by Don Cornelius) I grew up with a brilliant sort of multicultural impacts. I infrequently if ever even thought approximately how in yet differently i became into raised till I joined the militia and witnessed genuine racism for the 1st time in my existence.
2016-10-04 00:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by lininger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been dating for 8 months and he's close with his mother, then, yeah, you probably should have met her by now, but there could be extenuating circumstances that you are not aware of. Why not invite her over for lunch or dinner? If you think he's lying about her not being okay with the relationship, then tell your boyfriend to call her when you're in the room with him and see what happens...
2006-11-16 03:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural for any parent to have reservations about meeting their son's partner, especially if she's from a different culture. If he's an only son, then it could be even more of an issue. Don't rush to be accepted, concentrate on getting to know his family instead of getting them to immediately like you. Good Luck...
2006-11-16 04:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by Fragile Rock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should of met her by now you would think, if their close.
BUT maybe, it's not a racial thing. Maybe there is something about his mom that he thinks might turn you off. Like, maybe she's a druggie, or prostitute, or lives with the rats?
You won't know uintil you push the subject onto him.
Insist it's time you met the mother he is close to.
2006-11-16 03:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it cos I'm white?
It's quite common for boys of any race to be shy about introducing their girlfriends to their mothers. Wait until you've met her before you make an issue of it.
2006-11-16 03:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! he says no so dont. U might end up getting ur feelings hurt trust me. Ive been with a white dude... my mom cuss his *** out... he got his feelings hurt bad. Seriously.. u wouldnt wanna here some of the things a black woman would say.
2006-11-16 03:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by life_and_ashleyxoxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋