When someone says: "I don't understand why this has to be so difficult", they are really making a classic passive-aggressive insult which roughly translates to: "This is not difficult, but you are making it so."
It is infuriating.
The only responses I can ever come up with inflame the situation. My responses vary depending on how long the passive-aggressive obstructionist and I have been going at it.
Here's how typical conversations go:
Speaker:"I don't understand why this has to be so difficult."
Me: "Which parts do you find difficult?" (when I'm trying to help)
Me: "Which parts don't you understand?" (when I'm frustrated with the person)
Me: "It is not difficult." (when I'm slightly angry at the person)
Me: "Yes, you are right." (when I'm very angry at the person)
Can anyone please provide a more diplomatic response that would 1) defuse the situation and 2) ideally, address the fact that the speaker has offered a veiled insult.
Thank you in advance.
Steven S.
2006-11-16 03:08:29 · 11 answers · asked by Steven S 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I love your response to #1 - I would ask them what part is difficult to them.
Let them answer and vent their frustration. Then, challenge them to own the "issue" at hand: "How would you handle the situation?" Encourage them to give you feedback on how to make it easier.
Believe it or not, I have done this with a pretty massive chip on my shoulder (thinking that it would be easier if they'd just shut up and do it already!). And I have received some responses with some feedback that has been nothing short of incredible. Things that were so obvious that I can't believe we never tried it sooner. If all else fails, it shows that you're willing to listen to what someone has to say, and it can engage you in a great discussion to help get things done.
2006-11-16 03:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. a million. Why have 2 words for it. 2. Being produced from petroleum does not make plastic oil. 3. there is not any wood in paper/rock/scissors 4. while giving wedding ceremony anniversary presents paper is the 1st year and wood is the 5th. the 1st year of marriage and the 5th are actually not the comparable year. 5. wood has 4 letters paper has 5 6. The do no longer the two initiate with a Whuh. 7. It might desire to be incorrect while you're asking no count number if that's incorrect. 8, technological awareness is in that's infancy. 9. Shakespeare did no longer write Hamlet in his tree. 10. all of us know paper is produced from sand. The universe is a secret, no longer something is extremely knowable. yet another plastic critique introduced to you by the Petroleum marketplace...
2016-10-04 00:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by lininger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the diplomatic thing is to not address that the person has made an insult.
I'm assuming you are in some sort of customer-service situation?
Perhaps the best thing to say at the time is, "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to serve you to your satisfaction. I'll get my supervisor, who will be able to serve you better."
2006-11-17 04:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I generally response with 'No it doesn't HAVE to be difficult, but if it makes you happy we can do it that way.'
or if I am in a really irritated mood I say ' No is shouldn't be,but you seem to be trying to make it so'
2006-11-16 03:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by Axel M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When asked, tell the speaker:
" Then perhaps you need to conduct a more indepth study of the problem at hand."
2006-11-16 04:02:56 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Right 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I would like to do something to make it less so - what can I do to help" . Do not use a sarcastic tone ! In the future ,avoid the person if at all possible.
2006-11-16 03:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by leo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaker:"I don't understand why this has to be so difficult."
You: It is not difficult, what about this activity is making you feel impatient?
2006-11-16 03:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by bumppo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd say either
"it's not difficult."...or
"i don't feel that it is difficult" (when you use "feeling" words, words that express a feeling rather than an idea it leaves no room for argument....cuz a feeling can't be disputed, feelings just ARE...however thoughts and opinions can be disputed)
2006-11-16 04:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to change your approach if it happens often. Simply say "lets look at another way." and approach it differently.
2006-11-16 03:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by Krista K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use a Norm MacDonald type sarcasm:
"Yeah....I'm dumb and need lots of help, so bear with me"
"Yeah....I'm not that sharp. I just don't get it"
2006-11-16 04:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by Super G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋