I have this boyfriend I love very dearly. He is Diabetic. He has not taken meds for months now. He is out of control. He is doing stupid things and don't give a thought to what he is doing.
He won't go to doctor and don't want to take med's.
He say's or does something one day and the next day he argues with me that he didn't say that or do that.
I want to save our relationship. I was to marry this guy this coming year.
But...I can't get throught to him and it is always a problem, now finacially and is disrupting the whole house hold.
He says it is me, and nothing is wrong with him.
I am ashamed to say this, but I finally broke down after months of trying to talk to him and told him if he wasn't going to get help that he needed to pack and leave.
I am tore up about this but if he won't do it for himself let alone our relationship..what am I suppose to do? It is effecting me now. I have college classes and finals coming up.
He makes me feel bad..but I need help.
2006-11-16 02:47:54 · 10 answers · asked by Dawn 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
There was a time where the situation you just wrote about could have been my fiancee writing. I've been diabetic for about 10 years now, and am only starting to take care of it now.
I had a lot of difficulty accepting my diabetes, didn't want to conform to the restrictions it imposed on me, didn't want to take piles of medications every day, and thought that I was tough and could just ignore it.
You were right to threaten him with leaving. You will have a life of sacrifice tending to his medical needs because he has refused to take care of himself. Your man can look forward to deteriorating health as complications from the diabetes multiply. If he isn't aware of the terrible things that happen to untreated diabetic patients remind him that he is risking limb amputation, blindness, kidney failure, heart disease, and other nasty side effects.
I hope for the both of you that he comes to his senses before it's too late. My doctor recently told me that my kidneys will begin failing in 2 years if I don't change things. I have decided to fight my diabetes, and even though that means medications and four injections a day, I am going to try to reverse the negative impact diabetes is having on me.
Stick to your guns and leave him if he doesn't want to take care of himself. You'll avoid a lot of suffering in the long run.
2006-11-16 04:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-19 03:43:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-20 06:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot help someone who does not want help. The same way you can't help an alcoholic or a drug addict if they don't want help you cannot help your boyfriend with his diabetes nor his attitude etc unless HE want's help. Since he doesn't care enough to get help in order to salvage you relationship you need to realize that it WAS him and that until he realizes the damage is doing there is nothing more you can do. He needs to grow up and realize how serious diabetes is as well his mental problems and get help. Until he is ready to this concentrate o your studies and your final exams and make sure you keep YOUR life on track. Some phrases from a poem that I really like are: If you love something set it free. If it comes back it is yours to keep. If not it never was.
2006-11-16 02:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your boyfriend is trying to self-destruct. Does he know that if he doesn't take his insulin it can kill him? I know that my mom becomes unreasonable if her sugars are low, but if he's not taking his insulin, it's more likely high. I think there is probably something going on. He needs to see a doctor, not about the diabetes (although it is important that he gets that under control too), but about his mental condition. If you can't get him to the doctor, what about one of his family members...have you tried talking to them?
I think that if he doesn't get his act together and get some help, that you should kick him out. It's tough love. Maybe it will knock some sense into him. You can't let him take you down with him. Just make sure that his family is going to help him.
2006-11-16 02:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by mbm244 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't force anyone to do anything. Maybe if he does lose you, it will force him to see the error of his ways, but only he can take control. It's sad and I feel for you, but if he doesn't shape up, at some point he could suffer serious health consequences, and lose limbs, his sight, kidney function (erectile disfunction too, yikes). Good luck, I hope he gets a grip soon. Even if you wind up leaving him, let him know you love him, and offer contiued support, because I'm sure he will need it.
2006-11-16 02:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant help someone who doesn't want to be helped. The biggest thing I would suggest is to do some research about diabetes. Print out a list of health conditions that can result from uncontrolled diabetes. I would suggest going to WebMD or MedlinePlus to do this search. They have very helpful information, and if it is crammed in his face, maybe he will realize that Diabetes is Serious.
2006-11-16 02:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Pharmdelish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to visit the hospital amputation patients, then take him down to the dialysis center, then take him to the transplant surgical ward, then take him to visit a blind person and put a bandana over his eyes for a few hours.
Diabetes is a the most debilitating disease and you never know what it's going to take, your legs, eyes, organs.
2006-11-16 03:06:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Understand?
You cannot make your bf listen to you. He has to be aware of the consequences of his own actions. He has to want to get better or feel healthy for HIM, not for anyone else. Doing things for someone else will not last very long. Your options are simple...you can be there when/if he falls or you can walk away. Either way, do not nag him or he will eventually walk away.
2006-11-16 02:53:04 · answer #9 · answered by S H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer --> http://DiabetesGoGo.com/?MWwx
2016-03-23 03:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by Scotty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋