I never thought I was the jealous type...?

Question

But I guess that I am...is it wrong?

Ok my boyfriend hes 28 and has a 6yr old little girl and a ex wife...I am 21 and well no kids or ex husbands...I understand that his kid is important...but like when I called the other day he said he would call me back because he was talking to his kids mom about the kids school...I think she is not doing homeowrk or something so her grades are a tad low...i dont really know.....wel the @ss didnt call back and I wasnt going to call him again....Should I deal with it or is it just too much to be 21 and have a boyfriend that has a kid and an ex?

Should I try to be like well I can help you help her with her work?

Or just leave it and let him and his ex deal with the kid?

Answer 1

I'm in a slightly similar relationship, if you really love him you should stick by him. His daughter will come first but isn't that the way it should be? You're important but so's she. If ur bfs anything like my gf than maybe they just need a slight realignment of priorities. Make him see that you need/want attention to.

Answer 2

Apparently you are not mature enough to handle this type of situation and might be best leaving the relationship. Just because he is with you does not mean that he shouldn't have any communication with his ex esp when children are involved. They might not be together as a couple but they are both still together on the same team as parents. I mean for God's sake he was talking to his child's mother about their daughter, what is there to be worried about? He was busy and didn't call you straight back, big deal...You knew he was trying to help out with the schoolwork. I would only be worried if he was with the ex and the child was not around or if something fishy along these lines was going on. However, if you want to pursue a relationship with this man, you have to realize that this lil girl's mother will be in his life on some level whether you like it or not. He's not with her anymore, he's with you and I don't think that this is an issue of anything going on between him and his ex but rather that you have some self-esteem and security issues that you need to get over if you want to have a future with him. Would you rather they have a ugly relationship or have the ex-spouse from hell who tries to give you guys a hard time? or Is it better that you can see your ex be mature enough to settle his differences w/ his ex for the sake of his child so that the lil girl can have both parents in her life and see them have a healthy PLATONIC relationship for the sake of her bc they both love her. If you can't handle that, like I said you need to get out and get out now...this is not about you, this is not about the ex-wife, and it's not about ur bf...what matters most is the lil girl's well-being and I hope that if you stay you can get over your insecurities and be mature enough to realize that. Good luck and take care:)

Answer 3

Jealousy is an illustration of lack of self belief and mistrust. If he have been a jealous guy and needed to renowned each pass you made and who you have been with and for a manner long, and so on, you get very uncomfortable and prefer to run screaming into the night. the downside is, men that are that controlling and demanding are often the very ones which you women accuse of cheating, beating and staying out; jointly as the nicely-adjusted ones that don't pass with the aid of those adjustments get puzzled for their loyalty and absence of being concerned or devotion. you won't be able to have it the two methods; you the two appreciate your point of freedom and the time you 2 have jointly and sense constructive that your guy trusts your judgement, or locate somebody that desires his mommy and has to place you firmly below his thumb for vanity...

Answer 4

It sounds as if his communicating with his ex is making you insecure. You have to figure out if you're ready to deal with a man with an ex-wife and a kid. Bottom line is you'll have to deal with this woman and this kid the rest of your life if you choose to be with this guy. If that is overwhelming to you, move on and get into a relationship with less drama because he'll always have to keep in contact with his ex.

And I agree with the person that said the kids will always come first, and they should. If you walk out on him tomorrow, he'll still have a kid to take care of, and no one should be above his kids.

Answer 5

If this relationhship is fairly new then leave. First, he and the child's mother will always be in contact b/c of their daughter. That tie will never break. Second, you are 21. You haven't experienced life yet. There is more out there. Get out and experience life. If you are jealous now then it won't get any better in the future unless you control your jealousy. But we're human and we have flaws. Jealousy will show it's ugly head from time to time.

Answer 6

his daughter is always goin to come before you..there's no way to get around that...deal with it. when it comes to school work and kids....it can take up a lot of time. i have 2 boys and thankfully my ex and i get along enough that he comes over to help once in awhile with their school work...he has been known to stay till 10 just helping and getting things done.

so the answer is let him and the ex deal with it...its their responsibility...you can offer your help but then leave it alone..dont keep offering. just offer so he knows its there should he need it and then leave it alone.

Answer 7

well if you like him alot you would deal with it he maybe was so caught up that he forgot to call you back. Just tell him you want to be in his life and the little girl and try to help him.

Answer 8

I don't think you are jelous. . I just think you are insercure. . I was the same way with my ex talking to his ex I knew that he was with me but I was afraid that she would get him to break up with me but anyway you shouldn't worry they are devorced and he cares about his kids and he wants the best for them I don't think that I would worry about that . . You are the one who is happy with so I wouldn't worry about it. . . If you want to be with this guy then you should get to know his kids and be there for him but don't make them think you are trying to take there mothers place because then you will never get to know them. . .

Answer 9

you dont HAVE TO do anything, just do watever sounds convenient for you...being involved wth his kid is something that comes naturally over time if ur relationship is steady...orif he wants u involved in that part of his life, he'll make it obvious...you only have to be open to the idea and the rest is his job

Answer 10

You have no idea how hard it is for people who have kids with their ex. I hate having to go through that crap. But hopefully I will find that person who will be understanding of that situation. HINT HINT!! ()