17 m/o screams and grunts when she wants something?

Question

Hi, when my 17 m/o wants something she screams a really high pitched scream and kind of grunts also. I know that she cant communicate with me to let me know what she wants, but it is driving me insane. Even in the car if she drops something she screams and points what is the best way to handle this? Should I ignore the behavior (which is really hard) or what do I do? She does it constantly until she gets what she wants followed by whining. HELP!

Answer 1

It is very difficult to get a toddler to communicate on your level;they expect you to understand why they are screaming,after all they do look up to you ,your the mom.,and kids at that age think you are supposed to understand every little squal.
When speaking to your daughter ,the next time that she gives you the screaming and grunts, Go ahead and talk to her in a simple and calm adult way,even if she doesn't understand what you are saying ,she will catch on after a few months perhaps,and the language communication will start to improve.
I have three young daughters ages 6, 3 ,and 10 months old and it seems like when I talk in a calm adult way to them they all give me more resonable responces.
If you give in to all the screaming,grunting and pointing, she will think that thats the only way of comminication b/c she assumes you understand her,and she won't change untill you start communicating with her using real words,and sentences.
Try giving her a choice between two things instead of asking her what she wants period.
For instance,don't say ; What do you want?
Instead ,first get her attention by calling her name,then say : Do you want juice or milk? ; or do you want this book or that book? : or do you want to go out side, or play with your blocks in side?
With my parenting experience ,giving choices between two things ,almost works all the time.If not,then let her know that her bad behavior will not be responded to period.
I wish you the best of luck with your daughter. I hope I was of some help to you.
God Bless !

Answer 2

This may not be best, but it's what I would do. Talk to her in a regular voice and tell her to stop screaming so you can find out what she needs. At 17 months, she can let you know what she needs by pointing and making some noise, but definitely not by screaming. She is only doing this because it worked in the past. If you are in the car, tell her she has to wait until you stop and then you'll help her out. If she continues screaming, turn the radio way up, roll down a window and sing along in your loudest voice. This is what I always did with my daughter. Yes, it's frustrating, but you don't want her to grow up to be a whiner and fit-thrower. Best of luck and I hope this helps!

Answer 3

You are the parent so start acting like one. Your child screams and grunts because she knows you will respond. The first few times will be hard but you need to retrain her. Ask what she wants. When you realize what she's looking for, tell her what it is and make her say it. She should be using words. Don't give in. Talk calmly and lovingly, but teach her the correct way. You are going to end up with one spoiled, temper tantrum throwing child if you don't stop this behavior now. Parenting is hard, but don't make it harder on yourself than it needs to be. Put an end to the bad behavior. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yup, my 2yr old used to do that, now she has a wider vocabulary it's not so bad but it used to drive me nuts! I'd ignore her, especially when I was driving as what can you do? When she'd do it at home I'd figure out what she wants by looking at where she was pointing then go through everything in that direction (if you see what I mean) & not give it to her until she stops the screaming. Even if I already knew what she wanted I wouldn't give it to her until she made some kind of noise that resembled yes, or a nod etc! Eventually your daughter will get to know what everything is called & instead of screeching for a biscuit for example, she'll say "bit bit" or something along those lines!

Answer 5

I'm there at the moment with my 18 month old. She can reach notes that send dogs insane when when she gets going. I calmly explain to her that I can't hear her when she is whiney, and I ignore- maybe talk to my partner, or go and do something else instead. When the noise stops, she gets lots of fuss.
I know it's immensely frustrating because they don't know how to tell us what they need and they frustrate us with their very special high pitched sounds, but I have found that the easiest way to get through those moments is to ignore it and tell her that when she stops that noise, she'll get my attention.
Good luck!

Answer 6

She is most likely frustrated because she can't communicate what she wants. My daughter is the same age. We have been teaching her sign language since she was about 6 months old. I bought some baby sign flash cards on amazon.com. There are simple signs that your daughter can learn very quickly. Start out with just a few, like eat, drink, help, more and all done. If a sign seems to difficult, you can always modify it. It has worked wonders for our daughter. Good luck.

Answer 7

Mother of 5 and preschool teacher for 7 years here.
Your 17 month old is learning comminication skills. If she thinks that screaming and pointing will get her what she wants then she will continue to do it. What you need to do is help her learn how to communicate by giving her words. Here's an example:
say you're at home and she wants a snack, so she is in the kitchen screaming and pointing to something on the counter. You simply walk over to her, get down to her level and ask her "are you hungry? do you want a snack?" She will respond in her usual way, so then, knowing that it's what she wants, you repeat the simple term "snack" or "eat", whichever word you want her to learn to say in that situation. She is not capable of full sentances or the thought process to create them, so simple 1 or 2 word phrases to get the point accross is very helpful.
I've taught my children simple sign language words as well, so that if they are too upset to speak they can use their signs. It's very helpful. Aslo, with my son who is 20 months, and a little delayed with his speach, also screams and cries for what he wants, I make sure he calms down before I give it to him. I hold what he wants and have him ask nicely for it.
"Do you want a drink? Drink? Say please." (showing him the signs and speaking at the same time) when he asks please, then I give it to him. It shows him that the screaming isn't what got him his drink, it was asking nicely.

Answer 8

I know this is tuff for you but right now she is learning how to get your attention if you respond when she screams it reinforces that behavior.

So next time bend down so that you are eye to eye and say

Mom can't understand you when you scream. so tell me again what you need. (keep repeating until she finds a new way to communicate)

Make sure you are eye to eye and in a calm voice.

It will be tuff until she is reprogramed

Look for a book titled "redirecting childrens behavior"

Answer 9

DON'T IGNORE HER!! she is communicating with you. what you need to do is talk to her asking "did you drop your toy""do you want the bubbles""do you want mommy to help you with that" my son is also in this stage and it makes me batty but the more you talk to her about what it is she is moaning or grunting about she will learn to say the words she is looking for!!

if you ignore her and just give in you are saying what she is doing is ok so don't be sure to ask lots of silly questions about why she is grunting and moaning!

Answer 10

When se screams you need to not give her what she wants. You need to teach her with words. Next time she screams for something you tell her we don't scream what is it you want. When you find out what it is repete it say do you want the doll say doll and say it a few times.