My husband is beating my son to make him tough enough for the NFL is this appropriate???? Help please?

Question

My husband has always wanted our son to play football. He has had a football in his hands ever since he was born. My son played pee wee ball, middle school ball and just this year tried our for the high school football team. He didn't make it. My husband because so outraged with our son that he beat him with our personal collection of whips and chains. He says that he is going to make a man out of him and get him on that team next year so that our son can make it into the NFL. It has always been my husbands dream to have his son in the NFL and he is willing to do whatever it takes to make him tough enough to make it. I don't like my son getting beat, especially with our whips and chains but I dont want him to be soft either. Should I try talking to my husband or keep my mouth shut before I get his with the whips and chains as well?? Help please!

Answer 1

ok what I really love is when ppl mention the "whips and chains" in their answers......I'm crying as we speak...

Answer 2

I truly cannot believe you have to ask this!! As parents we are to protect our children. To listen, to guide and to support whatever choices they make even if we don't agree with them. Since when is violence the answer? You have some serious issues if you cannot decide on your own if this is actually wrong. If you think you can beat something into a child rather than asking him if he wants to even play football, and supporting him if he doesn't or getting him some extra training if he does, then you also need help. I would like to see your children with someone who will seek out other answers rather than whips and chains. You both need to seek help and your son needs help now to. He needs to learn to cope with what has already happened. Kids learn by example and congratulations you have just taught him if your kid wont do what you want then beat them. how will you feel when you see him beat your innocent grandchild for spilling milk? This is so wrong. Get out of there and get those kids some help.....If you cant do that then at least place the kids in a home where they are safe and free from abuse.

Answer 3

If he is beating your son over something as dumb as that and your sticking around, thats stupid. Get rid of those wips and chains. Turn your husband in for child abuse. Your son is High School aged, he still needs your protection obviously. You want him to turn away from you cause you don't help him? Dad needs to get out of the house til he can actually be a dad. A simple nice try son, we will practice and maybe you will make the team next year would have been an appropriate response.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like your husband needs to back off man. Just because he is some football geek. He should let his son live his life. Instead he is trying to live out his own personal failures through your son. In the long run your child will grow to resent his father. He has stolen his childhood and now wants to rule his world. Your husband seems to be trapped in a fantasy world of football. Uhhh, think about how many people make the NFL. Out of all the players in the world only like 3 % make it to the NFL. Someone has to be cut, its a part of life. Not everyone makes it. That's is the problem today, we keep pushing kids into adulthood and expect them to think like adults. If your afraid of your husband coming after you, I think you need to rethink your relationship with this man. Being tough and hard on a child leads him to isolation, then eventually hate for those around him. Be tough, don't cry, stop being a wuss, you freaking cry baby. Great now you've just created an emotionless robot who will go on carrying out the abuse on his wife and kids.. I'm sorry though, you are a big role in this too. You see, you also allowed this to happen and now it's probably to late. I can spot these children a mile away. Do you see how he hangs his head and doesn't make direct eye contact. Well that's the confidence you've robbed him of. Parents like you should have yourselves counseled before you try to lead your child. Right now he is under your control, but wait till he's older and starts lashing out, or abusing his girlfriend. You are in for a world of crap. Don't be surprised or angry when it happens, after all you created the problem.

Answer 5

If this is a serious question, then your husband has some serious issues. First off all I am willing to bet that your husband was not half the athlete he states he is, and that he never lived up to his dreams as a player. So now he is forcing it onto your son, who might not even want to play football. The thing about the whips and chains is just twisted considering that YOU use them for pleasure! They are meant for you and your husband, not punishment of your son. We can't force our kids to be something they are not. It sets them up for a life time of failure. Beating your kid is not going to help him make the football team either. I have coached the sport for 5 years and played it for 10. I have never once found out that my best players were so good because their dad beat them into football condition!!

Answer 6

you need to put a stop to this. NOW. This is called child abuse and I cantbelieve you would even have to ask this question, I mean I have 4 kids and if someone ever beat them that person would get the beating of there life. You cannot choose the direction for your kids, did anyone ever think maybe he didnt get on the team because he really doesnt want to be on it? If you talk to him and you get a beating then leave him, also, if he ever does it again, call children services and the police. Stand up for your son not your man.

Answer 7

If it is possible, your child should be taken from you immediately.

both you and your husband are a ridiculous excuse for parents.

You had to come on yahoo answers and ask a forum if it was *appropriate* for your husband to beat your son. Be thankful Im not close to you, you might go missing. Smile. Same thing with the husband.

The question here is ..why havent you as a mother taken your son out of this situation? Why havent you sucked up the situation and left it? You and your husband are a disease, parasites. You are both a disgrace.

And people wonder why their children grow up to be violent.

Been reading thru your posts. Seems you have an issue with violence in your life all the way from the boss to home.

You are not fit to be parent or be out in society.

Answer 8

Just because your son didn't make the football team, doesn't mean he's soft. It just means he needs more practice and/or he's not what the coach wants for his team. Instead of your husband being an abuser to your son with y'all personal collections of whips and chains, he should teach him what he has learned about being in football and maybe your son will learn more skills for next year. You need to stop your husband from what he's doing because he makes your son go crazy and do things you never thought could happen in your family. Trust me, beating someone and forcing them into doing things they may not want to do, is not the way to do things. If he isn't wanting to be in football, don't make him. Let him do what he wants and support him for that. If he wants to be in Basketball, let him do that. You and your husband should be supportive of him no matter what he does. Just encourage (DON'T BEAT) him to make a higher person of himself by getting into activities that will take him somewhere after he graduates. Your husband also should stop what he's doing before people at his school see bruises and marks on your son and does something about it!

Answer 9

Inappropriate doesn't even begin to describe the behavior your husband is displaying. You married an abusive man and you need to get yourself and your son away from him. You said it's your husband's dream to playin in the NFL but you never mentioned what your son's dreams are since this is his future you're discussing. Your husband can't live vicariously through his son. Go some place safe before your husband kills your son in a rage.

Answer 10

Let me tell you something. As this boy's mother, you need to step in. You don't want your son to look back on this horrible experience of abuse and think that you didn't care enough to help put a stop to it. There is nothing positive or productive about your husband beating your son with whips and chains. For you to condone this, you are just as responsible as your husband for what ever happens to your son. Your entier family needs help. Your son, who is being abused and you and your husband, the abusers. Please, I ask you to step in and do something. Your husband needs to be stopped. Do it for your son. Show him what real strength is. Strength comes from within. For you to do this, you will have to find your own inner strength and deal with this. Good luck to and your family. I wish you well.

Answer 11

You have to be kidding me. If this is for reall you not only need to say something you need to get the he** away from him. At NO time is it okay to beat someone for anything this is child abuse weather you son is 5 or 16. And if your afraid he will turn on you something is wrong, you shouldn't be afraid of your husband. Seek help NOW. Go to social services or the couselor at your son's school if your son is brave and smart he has already been there.