My mothers doctors have told us that she has 4-6 weeks to live due to brain cancer, should we tell her or not?

Question

she knows shes not 100% but dont know that nothing more can be done, shes talking about things she is goin to do when she get out of hospital etc

Answer 1

Hello

Boy that's a difficult question and one I am also going through right now with my mother. I don't think anyone is going to be able to answer this for you and your family, you all know your mom the best. I can only tell you what we have done. My mother knows she has lung and heart problems but she really doesn't understand the severity of the problems. The last time she was hospitalized she had to be put on life support, and the doctors told us she has about 6 months. She is terrified of doctors and hospitals and worries about dying. She's been really sick for years now. As a family we decided not to tell her what the doctors said because she gets so scared and we want her to get the most out of the time she has left without being scared and worring all the time. So only your family knows enough about how your mother to make this decision. Is she the kind of person who would want to get her affairs in order or would it only add to her suffering. I hope this helps some. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

Before you say anything, talk to her docs and see if they've told her. If they haven't, they should have. And you should talk to them about her 'in general' health. Make sure she's physically able to handle the news and not go in to a heart attack when she hears it. If her 'in general' health is good, then the docs should have told her by now. If it isn't, then that's the only reason I'd think they haven't told her yet.
I faced the same thing in June of this year, and the docs told mom what was going on before they told me. I'm not sure, but I think in the case of the adult being in the crisis, they have to inform them of it, but not if it's a minor child. Or if the patient is mentally handicapped and can't understand what's being said.
She may just be putting on the 'brave act' for the family hoping to keep them at a 'normal' level and to keep them from feeling sorry for her.
And before she goes is the perfect time to check into the legal aspects of it. Make sure there's a Will made and that kind of thing. And to make sure everyone understands what she wants. Some want to be buried, like my mom wanted, others want an alternative.
My mother knew before the docs said a word, that she was dying. And while she couldn't make it perfectly clear to them, she could to me, and I followed her wishes. I didn't want to, but I don't go against momma once she has her mind set to something.
I am sorry for your pain and stress you're under and will be under in the future, I know all too well the feelings of it. I'd give anything to have 4-6 more weeks with my mother, but that's impossible now.
Enjoy her now, while you have her. Let her plot and plan her little behind off and enjoy the rest of her life. She's earned that right.

Answer 3

In my experience patients know long before anyone else when their time is near. The 'doctors' should never tell the family and not the patient - that violates the ethics of the American Medical Association, the Federal Law known as HIPAA, and the patient's rights. Often patients put on a 'front' for the family - pretending they will be fine when they know that is not true. Whether she believes this or not, however, you must discuss the prognosis with her.

Answer 4

Your mother is an adult, she has the right to know and the right to control her own life, even if it is just a short while. There may be specific things that she will want done, or things that maybe she would wish to say to friends or family before it's to late. Don't rob her of choice to make some of these decisions about her own life. My heart goes out to you and your family. Bless you all.

Answer 5

This must be so tough on you. I personally wouldnt know what to do. If you tell her she might spend the last days of her life crying and sad. And if you dont then she can die peacefully. I hope everything goes good and that she may even live longer then 6 week without suffering or being in pain. God bless you and your family!

Answer 6

Just because she has cancer doesn't mean that she's not a human being. She's an adult, she has a right to know about her own condition.

If I was you I'd tell her & let her treasure her last few weeks with her family. There may be things she wants to do before those weeks are up that you will be depriving her of doing otherwise.

Don't you think she deserves to know? I think it would be cruel not to tell her.

Answer 7

this is incurable, yet you probable understand that on account which you're a nurse. it would be reassuring that she consulted with Sloan Kettering, as they're arguably the terrific cancer therapy midsection in the country. It looks like the actual determination could come right down to whether she needs to start chemo/radiation (if the docs have faith she is a candidate for this). that's a hard determination by way of fact even although therapy ought to improve her existence via months, they could additionally heavily decrease the common of it. this could nicely be a determination for her to make, by you and the the remainder of her kinfolk. I wish you success.

Answer 8

I guess what kind of a person you think your mother is..

If you think that she's the kind of person who won't worry that she's going to die, but is going to make the best of the time doing things that she's always wanted to do in life, but never did them.. then you should tell her..

But if you think that she's gonna get depressed and lead the rest of the time remaining to her with sorrow, then you'd better not..

You could always be there to support her, and get her to go in the first track than to go in the latter one.. She may also need to get some legal issues set.. If so, do tell her...

Answer 9

Before the Dr told anyone he should have told her, so she has a choice if she wants to go through Hospice and go home to die. If it was my mother I would insist the Dr call a family meeting and let her know she has choices.Good luck to you and your family you are about to walk the hardiest path of life.I know from experience Hospice is very helpful at a time like this. God Bless.

Answer 10

She has a right to know. So she can plan what she wants to do when she gets out of the hospital with the time she has left.