My neighbour is 84 and suffers from really bad Alzheimers, It has got progressively worse and is now becoming dangerous to himself. He lives with his wife who is 82 and perfectly 'with it'.
She contacted the doctors AGAIN this morning to be told AGAIN their is nothing they can do, social services say the same.
It is heartbreaking to watch, and I feel so frustrated that no body wants to help...
Any ideas???
2006-11-16 00:24:41 · 9 answers · asked by Coley 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
There is something that can be done. All local councils run Alzheimers groups where they both can get support and visits.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Social Services really cheese me off when it comes to Dementia or Alzheimers problems!
Alzheimers groups allow the wife to attend meetings where practical help is offered and the husband can go to and will be looked after by volunteers outside of the meeting.
He is also entitles to go to a day centre where specialist help will be available, lunch etc and it will give the wife a break.
DONT be fobbed off!
2006-11-16 00:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by puffy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooh... This sort of thing makes me so CROSS! (sorry - I just think it's terrible that the medical services don't serve enough of the people they should...)
My elderly neighbour was exactly the same and we and her brother (main carers) were told that there was nothing they could do short of putting her in a home, which none of us wanted.
I think, becasue he's living with his 'with it' wife, then she, in the professionals' eyes, 'should' be the primary carer.
I think the only thing they can do is keep nagging. I assume a home is not a preferred option...
If they're not too short of cash, there is another option - some counties have a parallel care system which is similar to Social Services, but runs independently and you can demand what care you want, as long as you pay for it privately. We've got that for my gran, having had no luck at all with social services - they just turned up, said 'she's fine' and b*ggered off again, so we now pay for a carer morning and night so we have peace of mind.
The charity called MIND might also be able to offer advice, options or just a helpful ear - website: www.mind.org.uk
Hope all goes well...
2006-11-16 00:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by SilverSongster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing for your neighbor to do is see the family doctor. My uncle had this problem. He used to run our into the road with an axe and chase cars with it. He used to chase my aunt around the house at night with a butcher knife. In the morning, he would tell her he knows something bad happened "last night" but didn't know what it was. He didn't know who she was, but seemed to realize that she was there to help him. She made the decision to keep him at home until he died. She had to run upstairs to get away from him at night - she knew she was safe up there because he could no longer use the stairs. It was a very hard thing for her but she was a strong woman and she was able to take care of him. Many people cannot, however. Even though my experience with nursing homes has been horrific, this may be the only solution. I feel sorry for anyone that has to resort to nursing home care. This is not a good thing but may be her only solution. If she cannot handle him, she will need to do something before both of them get hurt. It will not be easy. My aunt tried to get help in her home but couldn't. The standard answer is if you are that bad you need to be in a facility. So I wish your neighbor the very best - this situation will not get better, it will only get worse. I will keep them in my prayers.
2006-11-16 00:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother in laws father has the same and it wasn't until he was found early hours in the morning by the police 2mile away from home that they did something.He was then placed in a nursing home.He had previously nearly burned the house down, left the gas cooker on, burned him self making a cuppa tea and lots of other things and they did nothing.He had been a hazard to himself and others and that didn't seem to worry social services, he should of had been placed in a nursing home a long time before he was and its such a shame.
2006-11-16 00:40:52 · answer #4 · answered by sweetness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should visit her doctor & tell him that it is taking a toll on her health having to look after him on her own.
Maybe they can find a place for a week or two respite care so that she can have a little time to recharge her batteries.
2006-11-16 00:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to get help in this country is not to own anything. If they didn't own a home or had a car, then just then, the government might help.
2006-11-16 00:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is dreadful, I wish I could help because my father has this illness and we had no problems with social services when he became violent.
2006-11-16 00:32:52 · answer #7 · answered by Hove Andrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad but in the US it seems people don't get involved until something bad actually happens. My heart goes out to you and your neighbor
2006-11-16 01:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by shizzlechit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, what was the question?
2006-11-16 02:07:22 · answer #9 · answered by twosquirtburt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋