How Do I Handle This?

Question

i have this guy. i really really like him and although i am only 14 i think i might love him. i know that sounds reli pathetic and everything but it is how i feel and i can't turn it off he is a great guy but i have just found out that he likes one of my friends and it is killing me inside. is there anything i can do to make me feel better about the fact he doesn't like me in this way?

Answer 1

First of all, it is really annoying to me when people say that you are too young too feel love. That is such a silly statement. I beleive you do feel love for him. Granted, over time your ideas about love will change, but it is possible to love someone at any age. Your idea of what love is will change over time, but that is normal.

If he likes one of your friends, then I suggest that you just be a friend to your friend and the guy and not try to break them up or do anything to get his attention. Maybe you could steal this guy away, but even if you do, it is highly unlikely that you will stay with him forever. As we get older and more mature, we change so much it is unreal and our idea of a good mate changes too. So, what you would do is damage your friendship certainly, but also begin a pattern of taking what "belongs" (sorry not a good word to use here, but I can't think of a better way to say it) to someone else. There are women I have know who would have NO problem stealing a man. They do it all the time and have no remorse. You don't want to be that kind of woman. Just keep your friendships with both your friend and the guy. You can't really force someone to want you if they want someone else.

I'm sorry... I don't know if that is the advice you wanted, but it is what many years of experience with love has taught me. Keep your chin up. The right guy will come along. Work on yourself and just be a good friend to others. Integrity is everything.

Answer 2

First of all, don't listen if people say you are too young to be in love. You are never too young to be in love, love is something so intricate and has several levels.
For example, puppy love vs the more intense love you get later on in life which leads you to get married, have children and make all kinds of committments to each other.
When I was 14 I fell in love for the very first time and when you are 14, your emotions and your hormones make it very intense and when your feelings aren't reciprocated, it can really hurt.
However, this is just puppy love and you will move on. Infact we learn something from every romantic encounter we have and this helps us learn things about ourselves.
Sweetie, what I would suggest is just going out with your friends and having fun. Boys and men aren't everything. Enjoy being yourself and having fun, whilst being yourself you will attract the sort of male that will like you for who you are and this will help you get over this guy.
I know it may hurt now and you think you wont get over it, but you will! I am nearly 22, but I can distinctly remember being your age and it isn't an easy time to go through so good luck and let us know how you get on!

Answer 3

I know its a pain when people say 'your only 14', because it doesn't help your predicament does it? You cant help how you feel, weather you think you love him ,or other people say its just a crush at you age,it makes no difference to how you feel does it? Does he know you like him? Maybe you should bite the bullet and tell him you like him.You never know, he might not have thought you liked him that way, and so hasn't said anything about you. If he doesn't feel the same, you can move on, instead of always wondering about it. Does this friend of yours like him too? If she is close to you, why don't you tell her you like him, as she might not be all too bothered about him in that way. Really, its up to you to make a move before its too late.BUT, you are only 14, so remember, you have the rest of your life for love and heartache, and sometimes have a look at the bigger picture.

Answer 4

dont listen to people who say your 14 and too young to be in love because that is absolute b*******.
my parents have been together since they were 13 yrs old and are now 52, they have 3 kids and are so much in love.
if you like him tell him how you feel, he may not be the one for you at this moment in time, and you will meet other people but if he means that much to you then do something about it, after all he may be the person you'll spend the rest of you life with!!! good luck

Answer 5

At 14 it isn't love.. It feels like love.. It's intense.. yadda yadda yadda.. In 4 years you will be a different person (and so will he).. 6 years after that you will be another different person.. and so will he...And the odds are the guy you think is neat at 14, will seem like a complete jerk when your 24.

(and conversely, the guy who seems like a complete looser at 14, may turn out to be the collest guy int he world at 24).

We've been there.. everyone of us.. Move on.. find another neat guy.

-HtJ

Answer 6

It doesn't sound pathetic - we've all been there. Guys like girls who are fun and happy - don't go all quiet and sad when he's around, you won't intrigue him, he just won't be impressed. If he's about, just be as natural as you can - you might find he'll start to like you once he gets to know you. But if he doesn't, and he starts going out with your friend, you're just going to have to accept it gracefully - boys are rarely worth losing a friend over, and you're going to meet a whole lot more boys over the years. Don't be miserable, it's Christmas - get out there and find some mistletoe to stand under!

Answer 7

Go after him. It is the hardest thing you can do to ask a guy out. But you will feel better that you took the chance. I am 14 too I understand. Good luck!

Answer 8

Young love....I remember those days.

If he likes your friend then he's not good enough for you anyway - you need someone who loves you, will cherish you and will hang on your every word

I know its hard, but try to focus your attention on something else.

No one is too young to love - but you have your whole life ahead of you and trust me - give it 2/3 years - you wont even remember his name - and if you do - it will only be to have a giggle over with your mates - cos by then I bet he'll be a geek. hehe

Answer 9

You only 14, things happend and will happend again perhap, that is life, do not worry about it, forget him, time healed. You might find in the 10-15 years time that he is not as good as you think.

Answer 10

You are 14...it's just your hormones..ther will be plenty of guys in the future.That's the special thing about finding someone who feels the same about you...and you will. Give it time...we've all been through it