I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. He is WONDERFUL! Kind, caring seeks to maintain a persons dignity even when he's angry with them. Everything I've ever wanted! But he won't touch me. We'll lay together to watch T.V. and he'll touch my shoulder then. He's never touched my hair except when it gets into his face. He seems to be uncomfortable showing ANY affection, except what he HAS to do to pacify me. I don't want to lose him, but I need affection too!! HELP!
2006-11-16 00:00:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is embarrasing...We've made love several times, but he's never touched my chest. He'll rub my leg for a few seconds, but there's no carressing, or forplay. I run my fingers thru his hair and he enjoys MY touch then. But it seems he doesn't like to kiss me, or have me wrap my arms around him. He doesn't seem to be very receptive when I innitiate affection. He doesn't seem to mind if I carress and touch him during sex, but won't return the touch. Don't know if that makes any sence
2006-11-16 00:21:17 · update #1
Well I hate to tell you but some people are like that.. maybe for different reasons maybe he didn't have parents that would hug and cuddle with him,but you should show him how good is to cuddle and hug,tell him that you need that and although you feel he is not affectionate enough you think he is a great guy.. ask him to take a few minutes a day to cuddle even for shorts periods of time till he gets used to it.. and he will if he loves you,I dont think he would denied you of a few hugs a day or a little cuddling... just speak up and tell him how you feel.. good luck.
2006-11-16 00:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation for a long time now. I'm telling you that you must end it now before you get to far in the relationship. The reason is because you can't change people. He will most likely always be that way. I totally adore my g/f but she is like that. Even though I love her immensely she has not changed and I have talked to her about it several times. She say's that's just how she is. Example: when I go to hug her she doesn't even hug back. I don't think we would ever touch if I didn't initiate it. My life has been filled with frustration and misery because of it. I advise you to find someone who will do the things you like.
2006-11-16 08:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mike F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The good thing is that he is seems a good person.
The bad thing is that he is obviously so overly shy, I hope he is a real man. I'm a positive guy, so I presume he is. As an emergency act I suggest you can start the physical thing. Do it slowly, start making love with your clothes on first and then you could pull him into bed or to the shower or wherever you feel like.
You should act because from what you say he is worth it. But all in all I think he is the one who needs help, not you :)
2006-11-16 08:07:04 · answer #3 · answered by Great Muslim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kinda man does not love to touch a woman. I could be way off base. But I'm gonna give you my thoughts on it. Please don't be offended..... I have 2 theories, as follows, He my be annoyed or with you, and if he is as nice a guy as you say, he may just not want to hurt your feelings (yes, some guys will put them self's though this just cause it's easier then a break up,even more if he has stuff to lose) Second and this is just a theory, He may be gay and wont except it. You may be enough to convince his self that he is not gay. I am a heterosexual and don't have much experience in that department. But could be something to think about. Just does not make sense to me. I love to touch my girl. In fact I cant keep my hands off her. Try to be a bit more sexy towards him try new stuff. I hope my opinions are wrong.... Good Luck
2006-11-16 08:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by highrange101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and see wots bothering him ... mabbe he doesnt want to upset you by getting tooo close ... mabbe he loves you a lot and he too doesnt want to lose you ... his definition of treating you with respect and dignity might be not getting very physical this early with you (i know its 6 months but thats not a lot if you know wot i mean) ... or mabbe you are sending out the wrong signals of touch me not .. why dont you take the lead once ... try playing with his hair or something like that and see how he reacts ... that might also be a good excuse to tell him how you feel about his lack of affection ... hope it helps ...
2006-11-16 08:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by edifiz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are many possibilities. but it sounds most like he is gay. all the guys i have ever known were VERY touchy feely. even my current boyfriend. yes he gave me respect, but after i kind of let him know that i was okay with it, he took the lead. he still respects me, but he still wants to show his love for me through physical affection.
you might want to talk to someone more proffesional, and maybe confront him about it.
2006-11-16 08:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by Its Josie! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you talking affection or sex?
Some guys are not into the cuddling thing.....now if he hasn't had sex with you yet he has to many issues and you need to find another. He could actually be gay.
2006-11-16 08:03:27 · answer #7 · answered by Judy the Wench 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could be obsessed with personal hygiene, and uncomfortable with human touch. U as a couple need to work through it, this will take time.
2006-11-16 08:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, WE ALL HAVE NEEDS THEIR IS SOMEONE TO DO ALL THE THINGS YOU NEED SOMEWHERE , BUT IF YOU LOVE THIS PERSON AND YOU ARE WELLING TO CONTINUE TO LET HIM TREAT YOU THIS WAY,MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AND IF THAT DOES NOT WORK MOVE ON I HAVE LEARNED THAT IF YOU TELL A PERSON WHAT YOU NEED AND IT STILL DOES NOT HAPPENED THEY DONT CARE RELATIONSHIPS ARE FULL OF COMPROMISES
2006-11-16 08:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by COLA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is afraid that he will want more and maybe you ain't ready for that yet and he is trying to be respectful of you. or maybe he needs you to help him get over being nervous when he shows you affection
2006-11-16 08:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋