thanks for all youtr advice but im only 14 yesrs old and he has problems with his anger?

Question

he is a bit younger than me and he reall does not mean to do it i know he eans well he's mum warned mw what i had to cope with i just don't know how to handle it anymore my life isn't worth living without him it would be soo boring!! help me people!!

Answer 1

There is nothing you can do about his anger. He may be a good person but he needs to control it especially if he is hurting people. The best thing to do is to stay away from him if he is hurting you. That would be a wake up call. Make sure he proves he is getting help for his anger. Below is something I copied and pasted from a website: I would recommend counceling to help see why he is suppressing it help to control it and express it in a healthy way. Some people do it when they are picked on growing up or they do it for other reasons. Have his mother take him for counceling before it gets worse. Have him talk to a guidance councelor or a teacher, or a preacher he may trust. He sounds like he doesn't really like himself.

http://www.canville.net/malone/controlanger.html
“Having angry thoughts are a normal part of life. There is nothing abnormal about them. However, when anger is repressed for long periods of time, it comes out twice as strong as when it was repressed.”

It is well documented in the mental health field that repressed anger is a leading cause for depression. If an individual is not permitted to express himself, or does not permit himself to express his negative feelings, the feelings are turned on himself. Many suicides and homicides are a result of anger that was repressed over time.

Anger management is a learned skill. Effective parenting and modeling by parents is the first course that children have at learning to express their anger. I have observed in my practice, if parents have trouble expressing their anger, so will their children. If children are taught to repress these feelings, they will have a harder time controlling them. In turn these children go to school and encounter situations that frustrate them and make them angry. Because they were not taught to effectively express anger, they act out. These children may appear hyperactive, uncooperative and irritable and are hard to manage. They have problems achieving. Learning effective anger control will aid them in their academic success.

Discovering what one says to oneself (self talk) provides a lot of information about the degree of anger that is experienced by that person. I remember working with a 7 year old, who told me he called himself dumb and stupid. The more he called himself names, the angrier he became. His parents and teachers complained that he was hitting others and himself. They were concerned. By having the child say nicer things to himself, much of his acting out stopped. The teacher and parents thought I performed magic. All I did was get him to think of himself in a nicer manner.

Imagery and visualization are powerful tools to help reduce anger. These techniques allow an individual to work with some very difficult problems in a relaxed state. Thus, helping them feel they do have control of their most uncomfortable emotions.

There are other tools that therapists utilize to help clients gain control of their anger. Medication is one of those tools. If you or someone you know has trouble keeping his or her anger under control, you can tell them that they can learn different skills and find life to be less frustrating. I or one of my colleagues are ready and able to provide them professional, confidential treatment. Call today for an appointment. Remember, no one can make you angry if you don’t let them. Anger is controlled by internal forces, not external ones.

Answer 2

Look let me be honest with you and I'm going to be really harsh. If you are 14 years old you have your whole life ahead of you and you are wasting it worrying about about your 'relationship' with an immature boy. I know how it feels to be young and to like someone and everyone critisizing you. When you are this age you think you know it all and that it is the end of the world if things with lads aren't going right. Believe me, you want to be having safe fun at 14, not worrying about serious relationships and sex. If he hits you even in anger you need to stay away from him. I have been in an abusive relationship and believe me no matter how many times they say they won't do it again, they will, and they will keep on doing it until you get out. Anger is no excuse for it, nothing is. There is more to life than this. You need to get out with your friends, make relationships fun, going out. You do not need to get serious and concentrate your life around one person especially with what he is doing to you.
Once you have him out your life, you'll move on, even though it doesn't seem like it at the time.
Maybe you are using a computer at school or not but that is where you should be at the mo, cos you are going to get nowhere in life without an education.
Sorry for the lecture but believe me been there seen it and done it.

Answer 3

You are really young and probably think you love him and that you can't cope without him...? We have all been there you know and we know it's not easy but if you seperate you will get over him, it does take alot of time but believe me it does get easier....years down the line you will look back and prob think how stupid you were for putting up with it and think of the years and time you wasted on him when he didn't give much back.....
You are only 14 you shouldn't be having to deal with something like this...!
If his mum has warned you then please listen, she knows!!!
It is not much fun having to deal with someones anger, you should be concentrating on your school work and having fun with your friends...
I bet half the people on this site can say that when they were 14 they knew best but believe me you don't....
Please listen to the advice everyone has given and please make the right decision.......x

Answer 4

I hope you are a girl. First how much younger. If you are like 14 and he is like 11 that is UCK. Second what is his mom doing letting you spend the night with her son at such a young age. Third if bored is what your worried about get a dog, it's pretty much the same thing in the end.

Answer 5

Young lady, your "very" young boyfriend has serious problems. If he can not control his anger he can be a menace to himself and to others especially if he doesn't grow out of it. You're still very young too, I would suggest you let him sort things out first before you continue with your special friendship. If you're lucky, he would most likely grow out of this stage however if he doesn't, he should be seeking professional help. This is more of a concern for the boy's parents than yours though.

Just be his friend for the moment. Being too close to him might not help him.

Answer 6

hi there. anger issues need to be delt with by a professional person, pursuade him to go and speak to a councellor, this will help him deal with what ever his issues are.you can get in contact with one through your local connexions center. type in connexions in your google browser, and find your local one. the personal advisors there are all very friendly and will go out of their way to help you! they work with young people every day in the same situation as you and your boyfriend. these issues need to be delt with asap, or they will only get worse.
I know you have probaly heard this a million times, but you are only 14, how can you possibly say life isnt worth living without him??? you have only just begun your life!
good luck, hope this helps x

Answer 7

Honey, drop him! Let his mother deal with him, she's probably the one that messed him up to begin with. Don't ever let any boy hit you or treat you mean. NEVER! You have got to have self-respect, and that means knowing that you have a right to be treated the right way.

Answer 8

It seems like you can't live w/o him BUT you can don't start these types of mistakes(types of guys)this early in life break the pattern before it starts talk to your parents or his but run don't walk away from this you will have many loves in your life.
good luck

Answer 9

You may think your life wouldn't be worth living without him but I PROMISE YOU you will get over him so drop him now and get on with your life.

Answer 10

Your to young to be dealing with this alone.Look at what he has done to his mothers life because thats the way yours is going