am i wrong in thinking this way?

Question

i dont have a boyfriend, and i dont want to have one, and i dont want to give myself that chance, and i dont want anyone to fall for me, even my crush,
because i think he cannot really love me because im too weird, im too selfish, and i dont really have a good looking body, im not ugly but im not really that pretty, im too busy writing novels, scripts, i cant even distinguish reality from fiction anymore, i think i dont deserve to be loved, because perhaps i wont be a good girlfriend, because i like to be on my own a lot, and i like to be pleased, i like men to be jealous all the time, and that i want men to love me and my family no matter how weird my family is, i want a guy to care for my pet cats, i have a very very high standard,,,and i really think i have a low self esteem, what could you advise to me am i terribly wrong about my views about life and relationships

Answer 1

U can have friends though... They understand the importance of having time alone and shouldnt care how weird ur family are etc.. Friends care about u we all have baggage everyone does..
as long as your prepared to consider their feelings as much as u want them to consider yours this wouldnt be an issue. This guy can be ur friend cant he? surely u can let him to just a friendship level. u dont even know if he likes u because u keep everything close and u spend time on ur own to some guys ud be seen as a challenge and the chase is exciting...
This guy may genuinly like u and want to get to know u if u dont want a boyfriend tell him straight dont lead him on cos thats what ur doing if u dont tell him. Tell him he will respect u for being honest but let him know u can be friends....
Stop comparing urself cos thats what ur doing u r unique y wouldnt someone like u for u. The whole idea of having a relationship is sharing and enjoying time together maybe this guy would be more than happy to sit in ur room whilst ur write and he reads or somethign lives fit together more than u think..... Having company is not always a bad thing

Answer 2

Of course you're not wrong to think that way. Don't feel too bad about your faults because everyone has faults. It's good enough that you recognise them and readily admit them.

After admitting your faults, it's very natural to feel that you don't deserve to have a boyfriend because it's unfair to burden someone else with all your weirdness.

At this point of time, it seems that you're happy with your writing and I think you should just concentrate on doing what you enjoy doing. Some people need to have a relationship to feel happy. Some don't. It's not a MUST to have a boyfriend.

You know what you want out of life and what you must do to feel happy. Trust yourself and don't give in to peer pressure about having to have a boyfriend.

A time might come in the future when you'll be ready to have a relationship. Someone might come along unexpectedly. Someone who has faults which you can tolerate. And he can also tolerate your faults. When that happens, you'll just know you're ready to have a relationship.

And if that never happens, there's nothing wrong, either. Just go with the flow of your life and do what makes you happy, which is the most important thing.

As for your self esteem problem, you'll have to work through that slowly by always telling yourself that everyone has faults and you're not alone. No one is better than you. Someone might be prettier than you but you can write better than them. And so on.

Answer 3

No need to think it just reading the first half of this anyone could tell you, that you got low self esteem. You got to learn to love yourself, flaws and all before you can expect anyone else to truly. Life is what you make it, follow your heart and your dreams always and never settle for second best. I would recommend you get down on your knees and start praying hard, it really helps. good luck to you!
-NmD!

Answer 4

Ok...you maybe a bit odd, but that doesnt mean you're not lovable. it puts you in the category of high maitanence. which is OK, as long as you accept it. funny that its combined with a poor self image, but a lot of creative people have that...in fact its hard to be really a good artist and not be a bit depressed and skewed. im almost sure its required. you have to recognize the various facets of yourself...why do you want guys jealous? what is the origin of that need? is that about you, or about them, or about the men you've chosen to be with in the past. being a good girl friend isnt hard, and doesnt require giving up your space and time. it requires a) finding a man who respects those things about you and b) making sure you understand and fulfill his needs. nothing wrong with two private people who like their space getting together. takes a little work is all.
as far as cats and weird families, lady, that aint even abnormal enough to be interesting. of course you want that. you wouldnt?
keep your high standards!! i wish more women would. look, men will only do as much work as is required of them. if women would all unanimously raise thier standards, and stick to them, we would soon be a better quality of men - we would have to be. unfortunately, and for some bizarre reason, most women choose (maybe they dont prefer, but they do choose) bad boy jackass types. since those are the guys getting all the "action", the rest of us have to behave that way to compete. i hate it, but there it is. blame yourselves, its up to you gals what the overall standard is.
so...now, you're not wrong, though there are some things you need to accept (like being high maintanence) and be up front about. you need to be worth the high maintanence, at least to whom ever you're dating. which really doesnt mean much accept that you have to choose guys that like crazy artsy girls. and theres plenty that do. so good luck, and good hunting!

Answer 5

Perhaps you should stop feeling sorry for yourself, there is a big world out there if you just get out of your own head and look around...

Answer 6

Well really is that everybody is born for someone so ....