mother in law - how to tackle?

Question

My mother in law shouted at me for wearing my nighty around the house. She says that she could see the outline of my breas*ts/panti*es thru the satin material. At the same time, i wear mini skirts/tank tops in front of everybody. She is fine with that. why?

Again she says that my inners after washing cant be put in the common clothesline (specially my satin inners). She puts her inners there.

I have seen her go bra-less inside the house many times...her bazooka's flopping around.. .and she is a "larger woman" than me...but if i go bra-less even during evenings(i am petite)- she goes crazy.

She says my father in law and brother in law will "look" at me. Why will they?? If they are doing wrong, shout at THEM..why me?

Is she a psycho case??? What is wrong with her??
What do i do?

I just want to ask : Why do we females take all male problems on our head?
If my father in law looks at me in a dirty manner (which he wont - sweet man) is it my fault or his???????

Answer 1

Your mother-in-law is'nt a psyco case. in fact you are very lucky to have such a caring mil and you should be greatful to god.

she stops you from going around the house wihtout a bra because you are a young girls. your mom in law has been with the men in the family for a long time now and they wont think about her in any other sense. but you being new to the family will attract attention easily.

she is following her meternal instinct of prevention is better thatn cure. why even take a chance of your being in trouble?

instead of abusing her like this be glad that even after marriage you are getting the same love and care of a mother.

Answer 2

The basic problem is that most of us are prejudiced with the very thing called, 'mother-in-law' and no wonders, that you would get a number of 'replied' to your question, suggesting you to 'move out' or 'send her out'. That is not the 'answer'. Do not look at the problem in that manner.

Just consider the fact that she might be overprotective of you or possessive of you or may be she is really worried about you being 'seen' by your male relatives in the house, of course, in a very victorian & prudish manner - just like many mothers. But you, probably, won't understand. She could also be crazy or even psycho.

The best way out is - adjustment. Try to agree to a bit of what she demands of you and she will forget the rest. The elderly people have their own notions but most of the times when they are around they are a great help in many ways. Their experience & skills are of great use to the younger generation.

Answer 3

It sounds like your mother-in-law is jealous because you probably look better than her. To avoid problems, just wear a robe around the house or a T-shirt and shorts, because, do you REALLY have to walk around the house in your satin nighties?! Besides, why are you two living together?! I would say that´s already a problem in itself...so maybe you should resolve that first and then you´ll have the freedom to do whatever you want in your own place...

Answer 4

I Feel sorry for you with the crazy monster in law. I've been there. I got divorced from my first husband (Thank God) so I don't have to deal with her anymore. I learned something from that though. That is ,you don't have any obligation to deal with someone that causes you drama and grief.I stay away from my mother in law for the most part,even during the holidays. I refuse to put up with cr-p. She has already accused my husband and I of being boozers. I don't drink at all and my husband drinks wine only once in a while. Seriously,if she really annoys you,don't put up with it and stay away from her as much as YOU think you should. Your married to her son,not her.You don't owe her anything. Do you live in the same house as her? Because if that is the case,you need your own place. Good luck

Answer 5

Your doubt whether she is a psycho case could be reviewed on the cultural background of her's as well your's. Nothing could be improper with her in making you to behave in an orderly and respectable manner of dress code, which you may not be understanding fully in its proper applicability and sence.
Further, to your specific query that why do the females (older?)take all male problems on their head depends on the specific family circumstances and situations which she as older woman could be apprehending and shouldering her responsibility to keep the undersired under control could be the reason.
If at all anyone looks in a dirty manner, it is not your fault, but you should also ensure that you are not behaving in a manner forcing anyone to look at you in a manner not desirable ethically.

Answer 6

I would suggest u just be urself..don't think what she does..and it's very weird thing,that u roam around the house with Ur night wears..that's also not acceptable in front of in-laws..that's call dis manner specially if u r at abroad somewhere,.if neighbour will see u like this same thing they will think about..and u wear mini skirt /tank that's Ur casual wears so they are acceptable..don't compare with Ur mother in-law ..let her do what she does..keep Ur own personality.. and they are in-laws u should keep respect of them..don't spread them badly to the world..other choice is u just live separate from them...so u can do what u want..but roaming around house with night wear that's really strange!

Answer 7

Well, she is insecure and afraid that her "men" will be paying too much attention to a younger, cuter woman. It shouldn't be too big a deal to give in to her on this as really, her requests aren't too hard to comply with. And you are right, her "men" may have the problem, but you don't want to get into a situation with either of them, when that might cause trouble between you and your husband, so why not be super prim and proper and unapproachable except in private with your hubby. He will be very appreciative and probably so will she, and in the long run you will be the winner.

Answer 8

I feel sorry for your mother in law. That she ended up with a loony bin like you. A few rules to follow in your house if you want to live there;
1. Tuck your boobs in, no matter how awful hers look hanging out...yours should be kept under wraps and strapped up.
2. Nighties are prelude to sex so wearing them around the house means you want to have sex and since your husband isn't around...would you mind if your father/brother in law obliged you? That's the mentality that you have to face so you might as well realize its not going to change so you should change your attitude instead.
3. Keep your nighties to yourself, you innerwear on the clothes lines under a thin cotton cloth on top so that it will dry but not flash your crotchless panties everywhere.

Answer 9

There are two problems .one she is either old fashioned lady and or she is in her menopause
But hygenically it is better to wash under garments separately is a good idea
If she is in her peri menopause or menu pose u are help less
OBser her if she is dominant and too intrusive in all aspects of ur day to day life even ur personal life it is better stay separately.
But her ideas are specific and other wise it is o.k to manage better adjust ,because u cannot avoid her through out ur life .IN any relation shipadjustment is very important.Even we do with our colleagues and friends.My advise is give some time to every thing do not take any hasty decisions,and spoil ur relation shop with ur husband
Joint family system is good in some aspects think positive

Answer 10

Ask her to blindfold herself, her other son, and her husband when you wear your satin nighty. You can also make clear rules about proper attire and care of undergarments in mixed company for all occupants in your house.