should i do it, should i change?

Question

im 19 and i still dont have a boyfriend, its not because im ugly or anything, im not a terrible person to be with, i actually got a lot of friends, but i think im too weird for a boyfren, i like somebody well i have a terrible crush on him i only know his name but i know nothing about him, ive been bumping into him in school so many times like its almost a year, the memory of him makes me smile , he really can make me happy literally without him doing anything, just the total idea that he exists, i dont know if he has observed that because he sees me all the time, i know there is a chance that he does not even notice me and all
but my problem really is im too afraid to get rejected, i go away and i literally am afraid of someone falling for me, someone did and i really got scared, like i feel i dont deserve attention or love at this point , i even hate commitment, and i dont know what could i possibly do with a boyfriend, i feel like i should not have any boyfriend at all,

Answer 1

I think that you do want to have boyfriend, BUT maybe, you're afraid of taking that first, scary, uncomfortable step. I can understand you. First, you never had a boyfriend and now, you have a guy you like and you feel that you need to make the first move! Its a tough one. I suggest that even though you like this guy, dabble with more male friendships first so you could get the hang of it, next if some other guy, not your crush, wants to date you(and he isn't all bad) just give it a try. This way there's less pressure on you and if your crush don't ask you out, thats his loss.

Answer 2

How beautifully written! From the heart, right? Consider not thinking "boyfriend." I know this would be a difficult exercise since I can tell you are already crushing over this young man. But, really, consider meeting boys as friends only. When the time is right, the right boys will come too! Trust me. I felt much like you do when I was 19. One day I woke up and felt really, REALLY good about myself and quite honestly it's like the flood gates opened and boys were just knocking on my door. I didn't know what was going on! My guess is that my confidence was up and people around me picked up on that. The more people around me, especially boys, the more my confidence soared. So my guess is that you may be projecting some negativity and you are unaware you are doing it. Boys don't like that negativity. You are doing some negative self talk even in your questioning. Are you aware? I'm sure you think you love yourself but are you loving yourself well! Try telling yourself that you are not afraid of rejection because why would anyone in their right mind reject you! Tell yourself you are not afraid of anyone falling for you, after all why wouldn't they? Tell yourself you trust yourself! That you trust yourself to know when it is the right time to be committed and when you are ready for a boyfriend. Love yourself it will come. Practice these and any other affirmations daily. Trust yourself and trust these words. Focus on you, you'll see.

Answer 3

Unto thyself be true. Know yourself, know what makes you happy, seek out happiness, and if necessary make changes to increase you chances of finding happiness. Some anxiety is normal if you haven't dated much. It should be minimal and subside with experience provided that you're dating the right kind of people. Knowing yourself and staying true to who you are is the key. If you can do that you can make the most of your life and relationships. Good luck.

Answer 4

If you are happy with the dream, don't risk anything until the possibility of success outweighs the benefit of being happy doing nothing.

Answer 5

i say go for him