Why do I always feel that I've been misunderstood?

Question

No matter where I go, what I do, I always feel that I've been misunderstood or that my actions have been misinterpreted. Or everyone has something against me. Why is that so? Why do I always feel that everone is against me? And when I don;t, it'll turn out that that person really has something against me! I find it difficult to get along and just have a nice plain relationship with others. But I am what many would call a nice person.

And now that I am going to graduate next fall and enter the workforce, I think I'll just die!

Answer 1

Quite simply because you are measuring youself against the understanding of others. You can never understand what others are thinking, especially when you are wondering what others are thingking of you. The only way to understand all misunderstandings is to be aware of yourself. Perhaps you might be gay and not realize it. Maybe you are Mexican and have a desire for Japanese culture. You could be a guitar player but everyone thinks you would play the drums better.
The point is that it never matters what anyone else thinks of you, just do what makes you happy, and you will naturally find people that enjoy you and compliment you for whomever you are and become.

Answer 2

On the positive side, I feel you've managed to communicate quite well with your question and following explaination of your conflict. If you're as articulate in real life, I serriously doubt that you're throwing conflicting vibes to those around you.

I feel instead that your problem may be more centered around having a high sensitivity regarding those around you and what they may think of you. Really, the best way around this is to accept that you can never please everyone--so why try? Be yourself! There will always be those who choose not to like you (with or without logical reason), so the best you can do is relax and be the person who makes YOU happy. You'll eventually attract those who understand and can communicate with you. Hey, some people think Monty Python is hysterical... yet there are some who don't get it at all. I, myself, have yet to even crack a smile at Jerry Seinfield--but his television show got rave reviews and a massive fan base. To each his own! Tom Green? I roll my eyes at the thought that movie studios even wasted their budgets on him... but they did, and got their money back plus profit, meaning others disagree with me. The point is that, just as some may not enjoy your company, there will be others that do. NO ONE is immune to this; it's simply a fact of life.

So be the person who makes YOU happy, and forget the rest of the world: Those who will add enjoyment to your life will only arrive once you, yourself, become the first one.

Answer 3

I think everyone feels that way to some extent. As long as you understand and accept yourself, what others think shouldn't matter as much. Finding a community of like-minded people (online or otherwise) with similar interests, ideas, etc can help in building confidence for social interaction in other environments where you don't feel too comfortable. Just as long as you don't always retreat to that community as your only sanctuary.

Graduating and starting someplace new can be a good thing. It can give you the chance to make a new impression and forget the "misunderstandings" of the past. Just be yourself and be confident. People are usually attracted to that, even if they don't totally agree with or understand you.

Answer 4

I trust that you're being sincere, and not manipulative, like my ex-boyfriend who used that excuse to avoid taking responsibility for every stupid thing he did or said. ("It's not MY fault you thought I meant "I will do it" when I said "I will do it"--you MISUNDERSTOOD ME!") Having said that, perhaps you are falling into the same trap as my mother, who tries SO hard to be conciliatory and easygoing and nice, and is SO afraid of confrontation, that she never freaking just says what she thinks or what she wants. And then she gets upset that people don't read her mind. If that's the case, I'd advise a regimen of speaking in plain English and having the guts to let the chips fall where they may. No need to be overly obnoxious, insulting, condescending, self-righteous, or arrogant; just speak your truth. Of course, that means you have to know what your truth is, and walk the walk.

Answer 5

I often feel this way, and my friends say it is because you think differently. You see and judge things in your own special way, and communicate with others as if they understood things in the same way. But they don't usually, so you have to take it into consideration. Try to be more common, more simple with people, and do not let in the thoughts like "everyone is against me". Try to be more detailed when you speak and ask people what they think and do they catch your thought.
Good luck!

Answer 6

If you really believe you're misunderstood, then you need to work on your communication skills. There are lots of books on the subject, as well as books about relationships and how to build healthy ones. Just look at Amazon. Otherwise, you just have poor self-esteem and you're just too paranoid about what others are thinking. People probably don't think about it as much as you believe they are! Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you or think badly of you! Don't worry so much - relax!!!

Answer 7

You need some coaching. Also, consider taking an interpersonal communications course before you finish school. A good course will offer role-playing and honest feedback.

Answer 8

It's amazing that so much of our outlook on the world is tied to our brain chemistry. Your brain releases any number of chemicles that affect your mood... heck, there's even a brain chemical that induces the desire to cuddle! Try a psycologist to help you talk through your troubles, and if that doesn't work you should see a psychiatrist to tinker with your brain chemistry.

Answer 9

You are not alone, many people feel this way. Its most probably due to lack of self-esteem or poor communications. In the worst case scenario you are staying in the wrong place.