Any1 have tips on dating men with children?

Question

I recently just started dating a man with a 4yr. old girl. His ex and him broke up a few months ago. They still get along well as friends. She has a new boyfriend. Her and I so far get along. Don't know if it is a fascade that she is doing or not though.
I guess for me, is that dating a man with a kid is a new experience to me. I love children and have been/am open to dating guys with kids. I would really love some tips on how I can handle baby's mamma and any drama that may arise.. My boyfriend and I communicate really well, so I know I can be honest with him and any ackwardness or issues I may have. But, I would much rather be more well informed and have information on how to handle certaing issues if they arise with baby mama drame. Biggest fear now, is what if she ends up wanting him back? I cannot compete with his child's mom. Suggestions? Open to any and all. thank you

Answer 1

This: "What should I do if he again makes up with his ex?" question is tough one, though the fact is that you CAN compete with the mom, yes, because the've probably conserved the respect to each other, but the love is that is already gone and you have this advantage on your side.

I have an advise for you concerning the kid. The children, especially if they are much younger have unfallable ability to evaluate man's personality- they are pure and see the world with an objective eye. So if you want (and you should) to get along with the kid, be yourself, don't try to hard, no pretences, no sweet wordings just for the sake of it.

Just enjoy what you have together and think of the potential problems when they actually turn into a real ones:)

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Think back to when you were 4 yrs old. Don't treat the child any different from the way you wanted to be treated at that age. For the child's sake it is best if there is little open animosity between you and the ex. If you are open to relationships with men with children then there's no problem. That aside, you say that your boyfriend and ex broke up just a few months ago. Tread carefully! He is still on the rebound. He probably still doesn't know what just happened and therefore more likely does not know where he is going. So take things nice and slow! Just have fun and enjoy the ride but don't get your hopes too high yet. By the way, these concerns you have are the reason why so many women are NOT open to dating men who have divorced and have children. Some women don't really want to be bothered with any of that!

Answer 4

In the long run, it would benefit YOU that the kid's parents get along. I cannot begin to describe you what happens if they don't and the child is entering adolescence. An overspoilt, undercared adolescent can ruin your peace.

If you are getting along well with her, you can talk to her about things. I'm sure she would want her child's best interests, and if the child's father has a healthy relationship and a (second) place the child can call home, the child will healthier and happier.

And about your fears, well, any man has the potential to go away this or that way. The fact that they have parted must mean something.

Just show the mother and your boy friend that you think of the child's well being as muchl as your relation. They would appreciate your concern.

Answer 5

My dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 24. I was only six months old and the twins were 2 1/2 years old. He married her 18 months later. We were all legally adopted by him three years later (took that long to make sure my biological father didn't cause problems) and he's been the best dad ever. If there's a man out there willing to take on three kids in diapers then there's someone out there that can deal with one little boy and his dedicated, ambitious mother. Just hold your head up high and let the world see what a proud, successful woman you are. Men find women who are confident attractive and can't help but notice them. If they have a problem with your son, they're not worth your time. You'll find one that considers your son being in the picture as just more love to be shared. Congrats on the baby! It won't be long now until you're holding your little prince. :)

Answer 6

That is good that they get along. If she is seeing someone else it shouldn't be too much of a concern. Don't overstep your boundries and act like the child is yours or even give discipline until your relationship is much more established. If any drama does arise you need to know how he feels. Cuz if she should want him back and he feels the same there isn't a damn thing you can do. If he wants to stay with you then there she should find someone else. Don't escalate any drama by adding more drama.

Answer 7

Forget about the guy... your concern is his child. IF you're going to be parenting the kid, then you're going to be a big influence. Everything you do acts as a model for that child, and will end up becoming a part of them. If you don't like kids, or if you don't want to have the responsibility of raising this child, then stay away because the kid is the one who will lose out in the end.

Answer 8

Well, its easy to say "I love children". You would love her, but she will not be your daughter, it would be very difficult for you to feel her as your own.

Imagine that you will have a baby, would you continue to love her? Its hard to guess the future. The negative examples are unfortunately more than the positives.

I believe that a gf and bf have to be in the same conditions. I mean it would be better for you to have a bf without any child. And it would be better for him to have a gf with a child.

Good luck...

Answer 9

Yep, You're in a dilemma and it ain't gonna be easy.

Just hope he doesn't want her back or she doesn't want him back. things will get sticky if you can't trust them being together sexually because they will have to be together some time because of the child.

Start praying, and good luck. Only time will tell!

Answer 10

well, it seems they have both moved on, and its good they still get along for their daughter. my boyfriend has 2 children, to two women. i've never met his oldest childs mother, but his younger childs mother isn't very fond of me, only because her son and i get along so well. he'd rather stay with us than her and her husband. just try not to step on her toes about issues regarding her child. if she feels your trying to play mommy she will get defensive. but you have to remember that the ex will always be a part of his life. best of luck to you.