My mom is dying from cancer,but my mom and dad have been divorced since i was 3 years old.My dad raised me,as best as he could.I hardly ever seen my mom,and when she would call and tell me she would come get me the weekend she never would.
When i got older i stayed with my mom for a couple of months.while i was staying there she was taking care of her brothers son and had been since he was a baby.Anyway,while i was staying there she told me that if she could go back and change things,that i would have never been born.So shortly after that i moved out.and i didnt see her for a couple of years.Then one day my aunt came by and told me that my mom had cancer.I went out to see her.They finally got her cacer into remission,we were still not talking much,so we faded further away from each other.after another year went by,i seen her at a local and found out that her cancer has returned,this time a lot more severe.
so now she wants us to be mother and son again.I am confused!! HELP
2006-11-15 19:27:03 · 11 answers · asked by eddie b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's late in her life--later than she'd planned and this is something you can do out of the goodness of your heart. It will make her feel better, and you will feel better in the long run for having done it.
I'm divorced and remarried with a son from my first marriage. I always encouraged my son to love his mother no matter what she had done, no matter how hard it was to forgive her for it. Because you can always forgive someone.
People say stupid things when they think they have the time and the latitude to be stupid. That's where your mom was when she told you things she should never have even thought much less said.
Forgive her. Let her go to her eternity in as much peace as you can give her. You will be rewarded in your heart if not in other ways.
2006-11-15 19:37:39 · answer #1 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your mother is really confusing you, that really sucks...I have a mother who isn't exactly the best as well...It's not the nicest thing can happen, but she's my mother. Just like this person is a mother to you.
She won't last so long, right? So why won't you spend some time with her before she leave forever. You might be able to forgive her and actually be mother & son again. Who knows. You should try it since she doesn't have much time. If she dies, it's too late for you to do anything and you might regret it. I say you should at least try...you don't have to decide to be mother and son again right now, you know!
Of course, this is your choice. You can only choose it and I'm only suggesting this. You can only decide. Good luck and take care of yourself.
2006-11-16 03:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by Este 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very possible that someone realizing that they will soon die, might want to repent. However, in a particular case like yours, I would tend to say, go with your heart. If this person highly hurt you, and you cannot tolerate it, then let her pass through this alone. But! If you feel that when she dies you will regret forever and be in pain, this could lead to a lot of emotional troubles in your life... Means harm to you, not very good. So in both cases, just do what you feel YOU will benefit from. It might sound selfish but it isn't. It's about making a decision where you were hurt by someone, who now faces something natural you can't help, and choosing if you wish to suffer, or not. Good luck!
2006-11-16 03:32:09 · answer #3 · answered by elka_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't be mean to a dying person...it's just not right. I know that she has hurt your feelings and she's not going to change, but just do your part so you won't feel guilty in the long run. Visit her a couple of times, support her with whatever you see fit, but don't go out of your way just to bend over backwards for her. You have to draw the line somewhere.
2006-11-16 06:40:30 · answer #4 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sure hasn't been a winning situation but look at this way. When she dies, you will feel so much better if you tried to work things out with her. Whatever love you can give her now may bring her a lot of comfort. and even tho you don't owe her a thing, you will feel so much better about yourself just knowing that you were the bigger person and that you tried.
2006-11-16 04:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by casey54 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look...your mum is dying
and you cannot just stay put there without even forgiving her for whatever wrong deeds she had done........she's still your mother......your mother......its because of her that you're here in this world.....don't let your anger or whatever aloofness you have go over you.....just forget about the past and forgive yur mother,,,you'll feel better that way...and to think that she's dying....i know you still love her and she loves you,too...its just that she hadn't show it to you...but now is the best time for you to feel that she really cares.and i hope you'll show it to her,too...so that she'll feel happier and lighter for she knows that you have already forgiven her.....and the best thing is that ..you'll make God happier..because that's what god want you to do..to forgive her....it's late but not too late..make her happy for her reamaining days....she's your mother....it's the truth..brighter than the sun
2006-11-16 05:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by yucanzee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are like that,when they are carefree,they don't want anything that would destroy it,in your mom's life ,you.
Now,that she is sick,she want you back because there no one for her as she lead a carefree life,no string attached with anyone.
But she and you are different,you are not selfish like her,she turn her back at you when you need her but that doesn't mean you must do the same.Give her the cold shoulder occasionally and be her son like what she want sometimes.
You are confused because you don't need her anymore
2006-11-16 04:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to go to her and resolve things,because if you don't you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Don't you want to know why she was the way she was to you, wouldn't you love to get the chance to let her explain herself? and at least have time to heal with her rather than hurting for the rest of your life alone? she is your mother, no matter what she did. Give it a chance, and at least you'll know that you did at least that. You can say goodbye to her with a clear conscience. Tell her how you feel..
2006-11-16 03:57:24 · answer #8 · answered by ^V-Nephthys-V^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well no matter how confused you are and now matter how bad she has treated you in the past....she is STILL your mother...and you should let her know that til she is in her grave....but do respect her...she may have been shitty to you but she will pay in the big end. dont let her go without you letting her know that you are happy to be alive and well...and very very happy...
2006-11-16 03:33:52 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what...you need to be with her. If you dont later in life this will haunt you. You be the better person and be there for your mom no matter what...
2006-11-16 03:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋