I met this gal online..meeting her over coffee this saturday.Advise me on the do`s n dont`s while i m with her

Question

I havent spoken to her much..On MSN I asked her ..when is she gonna invite me for a coffee.SHe said this saturday.. after her football match.lol..
Advise me on anything that u think can be important. :)

Answer 1

Simple. DO: Try to draw her out and let her do most of the talking. Show a genuine interest in her and her activities. Ask casual, relaxed questions based on the things you know about her. Like for starters... "so how was the football match?"

As a veteran of too many coffee "meet and greets" with potential internet dates, I can tell you that these things coming from a guy will be a total turnoff. DON'T:

1. Expect her to buy you coffee. No harm in "dutch treat" at the coffee counter, but if you hesitate to at least pay for your own, it will immediately brand you a gigolo looking for a sugar mama. Don't laugh, you would be shocked at how often it happens. It would definitely make brownie points to offer to buy her a cuppa.

2. Be indiscreet. Some are uncomfortable about advertising in public that they are meeting a stranger off the internet. Set up some clear recognition method in advance so you don't embarrass her by greeting every women in the whole coffee shop with "Hey, are you Mary from Yahoo! Personals?"

3. Get too personal too fast. Any man who wants to hear my whole sexual history on a first meeting is obviously just a player looking for quick hit and run sex, and I don't go out with them again. A little light flirtation is fine, but save the heavy moves, or any conversation that shows you are taking future sex for granted, for at least the third date.

4. Ignore basic grooming and table manners. This is not the time to wear smelly gym clothes or your comfortable old sweats with the hole in the crotch, forget to brush your hair or teeth, or pour your coffee onto a saucer and lap it up with your tongue. Trust me, not sexy.

5. Fail to show genuine interest when she is speaking. My last internet connection fizzled when I could hear him typing away on his laptop while he was on the phone with me, and I realized he was just giving me completely detached "uhuhs" to pretend he was listening, but he wasn't into the conversation at all unless he was doing all the talking -- about himself.

6. Cry over your ex. No name-calling or slinging mud at her either. The first labels you "emotionally unavailable", the second makes you look bitter. Both are a turnoff.

7. Talk about other women you are dating. Labels you a player.

8. Lie about who or what you are - age, job, living arrangements (especially if yours include a minor little detail called a "wife"), kids, anything. You can't sustain it, she will find out eventually... and then you will have completely blown your chances with her, with a lot of hurt and damage done.

Good luck. It won't be perfect, so just accept in advance that you will make a mistake or two, and be prepared to poke fun at yourself and laugh it off. Just admit the mistake in a lighthearted way.... like "yikes, was that awkward or what? Let me see if I can say what I really mean a little more artfully now." I hope you have a great time!

Answer 2

Ask her questions about her life and interests. Share some about yourself, but don't dominate the conversation too much. Really listen to what she has to say. Be aware of picking up on things that you have to have as well as things that may be "dealbreakers" to a relationship.

Take it slowly. Even if you really, really like her, plan on leaving her for something to do after two hours. It's tempting to "spill" your whole life story to someone you like upon meeting. But it's just not appropriate. After all, you're essentially strangers.

Let the relationship build slowly so that you can feel comfortable and be aware if it turns out that she's not "the one" for you. Having specific plans (which you don't have to explain to her) will enable you to draw an appropriate end to a first meeting.

If you like her, get her number and ask her out again.

Answer 3

Accept her for who she is and what she is like. I've met many people off the net and their pics weren't exactly how they looked (pics can be a bit deceiving). But I listened to what they said, and decided for some that we would be good friends. Don't go into the "meeting" thinking you will find a soul mate lover. Like I said, most turned out to be friends (partly because that's what I was looking for and with some, that's what they turned out to be). As for don'ts, I can't really think of anything you can't ask. If she looks uncomfortable or nervous after a question, change the subject. If you are looking for a relationship right off the bat, don't let her know. It can be kind of a turn off and intimidating if she's not in the same boat as you. I met my boyfriend of over 3 years in a chat room but we started off as friends. And like I said, I've met a lot of people, guys and gals so please feel free to e-mail me if you have specific questions and I will try to help you out. Also, choose a place that is very public, for your saftey and hers.

Good Luck, Christina

Answer 4

As a woman, I know that it's very important for women to feel safe--and this is especially important when meeting somebody from the Net. I would wait for her to invite you and let her pick a meeting place where she feels safe and comfortable--and be a gentleman and offer to pay for the coffee! Make the first meeting friendly and low-pressure, and you'll increase your chances of having a second meeting (and maybe even a date!).

Hope this advice helps!

Answer 5

Ask the gal if'n she would like to pet old blue for a while and see what happens. Otherwise you might try some Viagra

Answer 6

Be natural. Be yourself - dont pretend to be anything else. Relax - its just coffee ! Laugh a bit. Quickly start feeling comfortable so that she feels comfortable too. Its mutual.

Dont push for too much, dont be scared of extending the coffee to other things - whatever you find as a common interest.

All the best !

Answer 7

Give her space. Let it be a memorable experience for both of you. Be chivalrous and gentle with the girl. Don't bug her with too many questions on personal matters. First meeting, let it be simple and pleasant

Answer 8

I am not that sure, but one thing! Dont make a fool of yourself by being clumsy or saying the wrong thing...The most important thing though is to be yourself, not someone else.

Answer 9

Do not be pensive.
Do listen to her
Do not forget ettiquettes
Do hold her hand atleast once and draw the chair for her

Answer 10

Hi ,Congrats for this to u ,Have u seen her Friend ,if not then pls be prepare if that person is of type that u thought off