if you cheated on a person that you deeply in love with do you have to tell the person?

Question

I have been dating the same person for over nine yrs, i am 23 and have never been with any other person except him unitl I cheated. i Think me never dating around and experiencing relationships with other people made me more curious.The other man was 35 and caught me when I was having problems in my life. I know I am fully responsable but in a way he was a missleading. I was with him for about 2 1/2 months. I think I enjoyed the way he made me feel and he was the total opposite of my boyfriend. But in the end I found out he was a really bad person he was involved with lots of heavy things and was ont the person I thought he was. I nevre told my boyfriend, i feel that if he will leave and I would rather just deal with the guilt i feel and how sorry I was for doing it. It has been 8 months since it happened and I have realized that my man is the right one for me, I want to continue of future,get married have kids and just be happy

Answer 1

Whats done is done. You know better now. So go and do better. Dont beat yourself up as long as you take the steps to do whats right. You know yourself and just know people make mistakes. You will be fine.

Answer 2

First off, you were never and are still not deeply in love with your boyfriend if you cheated on him and haven't told him. Someone that loves someone would NEVER cheat on that person. If for what ever reason something did happen and you cheated on him, if you loved him, you'd be willing to lose him by telling him because you want what is best for him too. Secondly, Regardless of how "misleading" this other guy was, you still knew you had a boyfriend and you knew you were crossing that line. There are no excuses for what you did. And last, if you loved your bf, you wouldn't have opened up the risk to infecting him with STD's and/ or HIV/AIDS by sleeping around. You don't know where this other guy has been and in heinsight since he's "such a bad guy" you could have really harmed your bf. Cheating is a selfish cowards indulgence. I hope it was worth it!

Answer 3

I never would have cheated on him in the first place. I've been with my boyfriend for over 10 yrs and never cheated on him.
The only thing I could suggest is to talk to your boyfriend and tell him the truth, because if he finds out down the road from someone else, it will be even worse. You will still run the risk of losing him anyway, now or much later.

Answer 4

I think that you should tell him.
If he's really in love with you and knows you're the one for him, then this should not be too much of a problem.
tell him all the circumstances and that from experiencing this other relationship, you realized that your relationship is the best that you can have. Tell him that because you trust him so much now, and that you want to be with him, that you told him this because of that. Telling him is a great show of trust and you don't want this to come out later on, in marriage or anything else.
If you feel that he'll leave, and he doesn't that means that you guys are all that much more closer.

Answer 5

If you cheated on him, you may not love him like you think, and is a good thing that it happened before you guys got married, because now you can really think of the kind of life you two will live together. You were too young when this relation started, it may not be for the best interest to unite your lives. I'm not saying that you have to be promiscuous, but you still have people to meet and socialize.

Answer 6

Hi Ash, They say, honest is the best way. But in your case i think you were used and confused about your first relationship.I would not tell him because you would lose him for sure.You have to promise yourself that you will never do anything like this ever again. Have a happy life and be true to yourself and your parnter.
This is a second chance.

Clowmy

Answer 7

I am a very honest person and feel that in a relationship you need absolute honesty. But in this case I think the best thing is not to tell him. It will most likely ruin your relationship. If you truly feel you will never cheat again, and you are obviously not a player, I think you are entitled to one mistake. You are very young, and you have been with your guy for a long time, so dont let it eat you up, and just try to make up for your indiscretion by being loving and loyal to him from now on.

Answer 8

I hate to tell you this sweety...but feeling bad isn't enough. Appologies don't solve it all. The only reason you are sorry is because it didn't work out with this other guy. What if the guy was someone really nice? Then would you be just as sorry? No. I say tell him, if he leaves you, you asked for it. If he doesn't, then hey I guess we all have our faults. Honestly...when he does find out on his own, he will leave you for sure.

Answer 9

choose a right time, right place and tell him in a non-hurting way,you don't need to tell him all the details that will hurt him and break your relationship.....don't tell him how long you kept seeing the other guy coz it hurts that you took a long time before realizing that you were cheating....imagine yourself in his place and take the rsponsibility of your actions,don't get mad if he left you for a while ,give him some space to release his anger......and don't forget to tell him that after this mistake you found out that what you have between you is something you will never find out there.........good luck honey

Answer 10

If you were really deeply in love with him, it never would've occurred to you to cheat on him. You need to tell him the truth but after 9 years together, he'd be a fool to trust you again.

Sorry, but that's the way of it.