looking for your advice concerning the morality of this situation:
i am 18 yrs old and i have never met my father. he saw me once when i was 3mos. old. he yanked me from my mother's arms and said i didnt look like him.
about a yr ago i asked a friend to look him up and did get a number. when i told him who i was (i gave him my mother's name and told him i only wanted to know who he was) he said i was not his problem and hung up.
in the beginning all i wanted was his time..... to know where i come from... but he feels i'm not entitled to that.
as his child i feel i am entitled to something.
does anyone feel it would be immoral to sue for child support? this might mean the difference between my getting my mba or my getting a phd.
do you think your religious affiliation has a bearing on your opinion (your view on a parent's responsibilities, etc)?
peace and blessings to all
2006-11-15 17:38:35 · 6 answers · asked by Living MyTruth 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
also, how do you wish good things on(pray for) a person that has caused you so much pain (my family was very poor while i was growing up and my father own's his own company)? In Islam we are taught to have a great respect for our parents..... is a parent like this entitled to that respect?
2006-11-15 17:40:17 · update #1
Assalamoalakum sister,
Every time I read one of your questions, you sound more and more like me. I also have never known my father. Don't like to talk about him, but he is not like myself. I am a kind and loving person, and he is stupid and selfish. I can't believe I came from someone like that. I have actually considered suing him, but I can't now that I am in my thirties. I would definitely say no. It is not wrong if you sue him, considering he is that cruel and heartless. He owes you a lot. My father owes me a lot, and I will never get anything from him, but you still have a chance to have him finally acknowledge you, and help you with things he owes to you. And yes, my religious affiliation has a bearing on my feelings about this. My religion has made me so much better than my father will ever be. I hardly even think about him. He is not worthy of my thoughts. I just wanted you to know you are not alone, sister, and I truly hope the best for you. Salam.
2006-11-15 17:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by Safiyah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As salaam alaikum young sister,
Alhamdulillah, everyone has given you good answers here and we understand your pain as Muslims in faith. I have a close friend who was in a similar situation just like you and I have enormous respect for him as I do for you.
It would NOT be immoral to sue him since taking care of children is the responsibility of the father in Islam. I'm guessing that your father is not a Muslim so if your country's civil laws entitled you to child-support, go for it.
And remember, you are not alone. We are more than pixels on a screen here, we're real people, your Muslim brothers and sisters, your ummah. And ofcourse, Allah is always with you and loves you more than love of 70 mothers.
Smile sis :)
2006-11-16 05:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No religion tells you to respect those that treat you like crap. They may say turn the other cheek....but not respect. Besides this is not a religious matter, the man deserves to fall into a dip bottomless pit.
2006-11-16 01:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I'm sorry about your experience with that man and I can not understand why he would treat you like that...all I can say is that this is one of your tribulations in life and once you become sucessful, it will make you appreciate who raised you even more, which is definitely not that man. Pray for him regardless because it'll help you to forgive him.
2006-11-16 01:41:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't answer the legal aspect of your question, but i'll answer the moral aspect.
God tells us to honor and respect our parents no matter what they do to you.
"Worship none but Allah (alone) and be dutiful and good to parents.." (Al - Baqarah (2):83).
the Prophet (SAAWS) said : "The satisfaction of the Lord is (in) the satisfaction of the parents and the displeasure of the Lord is (in) the displeasure of the parents." (Saheeh - narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al - Aas & collected in at - Tirmidhee. Authenticated by al - Albani in his as - Saheehah (no.516)
This hadeeth shows that the pleasure or displeasure of the parents goes hand in hand with the pleasure and displeasure of Allah. But what about those cases where there is a clear disparity between what pleases Allah and what pleases the parents?
"And We have enjoined on a man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks to Me and to your parents - unto Me is the final Destination. But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly." (Luqmaan (31):14-15).
here Allah makes clear that kindness and obedience must be shown towards parents, but that they must not be obeyed in that which constitutes disobedience to Allah. Nonetheless, they should still behave well towards them. Therefore even under the most strained of circumstances, the sons and daughters must do their best to behave kindly with them and not allow the situation to get the better of them.
may Allah grant you wisdom and puts your mind at ease.
Ameen
2006-11-16 01:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
His nickname is NamesAreMuchTooConfining.
I do care about him, but he hates me because I accepted Jesus as my messiah.
He seems intent on just treating me horribly. I apologized to him for hurtful words that I said, but he want respond.
As far as suing your dad, that might make him treat you worse. Try to build bridges of understanding between you and your dad to see if that works.
2006-11-16 01:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by Adyghe Ha'Yapheh-Phiyah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋