I am 39 and am single. I feel hopeless about meeting someone. what should I do?

Question

I am 39 years old and the world is telling me that I am over the hill. I am shy and have always been. I have a pseudo-relationship with someone that I really like, but it is going nowhere unless I decide to take scientology classes, since he is very involved in scientology. I think I'm pretty, but the rest of the world doesn't seem to think so. when I go out no one talks to me. I live in Los angeles, so maybe that's the problem. Should I accept scientology? My situation seems really awfull right now so I would appreciate any oppinions.

Answer 1

DO NOT accept Scientology. It is a CULT.

It is a scam, for one. L. Ron Hubbard (the SCIENCE-FICTION writer who created the "religion") was once quoted as saying "The real money is in starting your own religion". They will charge you vast amounts of money for their "services", one of which is called "auditing" (purchased in 12.5-hour blocks, costing anywhere from $750 for introductory sessions to between $8,000 & $9,000 for advanced sessions).

You're also expected to stay away from ALL drugs. This cult has taken a very hostile stance towards psychiatry & psychiatric drugs irrespective of the fact that some people require medication to remain adequately functional in everyday life. They deny the reality of chemical imbalance & profound mental disturbance & accordingly do NOTHING to effectively stabilize the dangerously unstable. The “church” has been known to withhold prescription pharmaceuticals from member (with deadly results).

If you get deep enough into the cult and vow to be loyal to the church for the next billion years (yes, there IS a contract that binds you to be loyal for on BILLION years), they will reveal the guarded secrets of the higher levels. One secret involved the evil alien Xenu kidnapping aliens, bringing them to earth, blowing them up in volcanoes and then brainwashing their souls, afterwards they started to attach themselves to the living (us) and cause many mental and physical ills.

They will also teach you that, according to this secret (that brainwashed alien souls have infested our bodies), God is a brainwashed delusion that we believe in because of these confused souls. In the beginning they will tell you that you can certainly still believe in God, but later... oh no.

They will expect you to deny this, of course. They will, in fact, make you sign another legally binding contract in which you agree never to admit to these secrets in public.

So... DO NOT involve yourself with this cult. Not for this man and not for anyone.

Answer 2

Well the Scientology thing is up to you. But it wont solve your problem. And I would never convert to a docterine I didnt believe only to meet someone. How will you feel when he is raising your kids this way?
I was single also until my late 30's. I tried personal ads for years. They really do work - you meet lots of nice guys if you write the ad well. Eventually you will find one that you have a lot in common with AND that has that spark.
You just have to stick with the ads for awhile, go on a LOT of dates, and use good guidlines. Put your ad in a nice/good paper that the kind of people you want to meet might read. Or try one of the online services. I think it is a great way to meet people if your a single parent and busy, or very shy. You probably are really pretty but either people are intimidated by your attractiveness or more likely your body language reflects your shyness and you may be hard to approach.
The most important thing in a personal ad is not to try and sound cool, or hot, or witty. Just be yourself and put down EXACTLY what you are looking for, and also list things your interested in. Something like "Very shy but pretty, smart and sharp SWF looking for very nice regular working guy with no "issues" and a nice family". If your Christian put that also and that should eliminate the Scientologists! Be careful until you know people well and meet only in busy places until then! And dont give up!!

Answer 3

sweetheart scientology is not the way to go. we are living in a very dangerous time and following a false religion is not in your best interest. do you have beliefs of your own? how were you raised? i've never been to san francisco, but i have heard stories. if you think you are pretty that's all that matters. God loves you more than any man ever could. you are not dead at 39 so make sure you take time to enjoy life. don't follow a religion for a man that you said you are in a pseudo-relationship with. God bless you and i will pray for you, that God will place the right man in your life.

Answer 4

Scientology? You must be a real whacko. Get far away from that guy, and girlfriend, you are 39? Time to get over your shyness. There is a whole world out there. Take a singles cruise believe me you won't be coming back lonely or anything else.

Get the F**K away from those people. They will brainwash you, take all your money, and even threaten your life.

Answer 5

Oh get real. Do you think just because you are "pretty" the world is going to beat a path to your door? Learn some social skills, make the first move in a conversation, join some activities clubs.

Are you so lonely you'd join a psuedo-cult like Scientology?

I'd rather be the cat lady than do that.

Answer 6

I don't think you should change your religious beliefs to be with him. We all have our differences but the right guy wouldn't expect you to make a life-changing decision just to be with him. Asking you to stop picking your toenails with your teeth is one thing, but asking you to join his religion is another.

I'm 33 now but 10 years ago I was involved with a woman in her late 30's (and actually looked like she was in her early 40's). The physical stuff was great, but to this day I still miss playing Scrabble with her (and nothing frisky the rest of the evening I might add), watching a movie with her and her 3 teen kids, or even her teaching me home-ec stuff while I taught her how to play the piano. Just because you're in your late 30's doesn't mean there's no more dating. Besides, the smart guys who have done their homework know that a woman is in her sexual peak in her late 30s and early 40s. Yes we're horndogs but SMART horndogs...

Just because no one talks to you or approaches you doesn't mean that you're unattractive. I'm shy and am tired of rejection so I stopped asking girls out in public after a while, and I think most guys are afraid of rejection too. There are those guys who are very confident no matter what, but everyone has their limits and breaks down after a while. When I was looking at online dating sites I would always see women wanting a guy that was confident but not cocky. I just passed up those ads because I thought, "well I'm a shy person and if she can't accept my shyness, despite the fact that she must really want a confident person because she took the time to mention it in her profile, then why would she have any interest in me?". I don't want to change myself just to get a target group of women to like me. It goes both ways.

Answer 7

you seem desperate, I´d suggest you don´t accept Scientology, unless you really want to get in Scientology. Definitely not to get the guy!
I´m also shy, I´ve been through it, so I suggest you purge your anxiety out from your mind and try to be happy with yourself, and if you really want to have a partner, go for it BUT WITHOUT THE ANXIETY AND SELF CONSCIOUSNESS blocking the way.

Answer 8

Yes i would say be thankful for who you are.. Just go out and buy you a new outfit and go get your hair and nails done. You would feel much more better and your not over the hill. No one is too old to have a little fun just open up and go shake your booty girl...Good Luck maybe you and some girlfriends could go out and have fun just open up and things will be okay

Answer 9

He is trying to convince you to take SCIENTOLOGY CLASSES....HUMMMMM! DO you want to???? i would say...no, from what i have read in your question...you could try to go a couple times...but it sounds like if you don;t become a SCIENTOLOGY PERSON he won't marry you...but what if you do not agree with their ways???maybe you may want to move on...but it is up to you....Just tell him if you want to..."YOU KNOW I WOULD RATHER MOVE ON. WE ARE GOING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS...IF YOU DECIDE TO LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP...and that works, i have used it many times!!!then never call that person again!!!

Answer 10

You should be accepted for the person that you are. Take your time in finding a relationship. You are not over the hill.