Petrified but also ashamed of my teeth?

Question

I'm petrified of dentists but my teeth are totally disgusting. I've finally got to the point where I am going to make an appointment but now I'm seriously thinking about backing out again because of the shame I feel. I know I should have gone for regular check-ups etc but my phobia kept me away. Now my daughter-in-law has promised to come with me for support and encouragment but I keep thinking the dentist will be so disgusted at the state of my mouth that he will tell me off. I know I deserve to be told off but I'm so scared, and if I get criticized that will just put me over the edge again. I know I'm being silly but does anyone have any comfort to offer? Do dentists yell and shout-my childhood dentist regularly yelled at me while I was going through the whole braces thing, he even threw my braces across the surgery once, and I used to go faithfully every month for tightenings, every 6 months for check ups etc. I'm more scared of being yelled at than being treated I think.

Thanks for the really quick replies everyone. I have to add that to my shame I haven't been to a dentist in over 30 years. I have found one locally that specializes in sedation dentistry so I know that will help,and my daughter-in-law (God Bless her) is being really supportive. My mom had no idea how my dentist used to behave, he managed to put the fear of God into me and I was too scared to tell her I think! 30 years ago everything was so different I had teeth filled without anaesthetic and I was not alone in this experience, some of my friends had similar experiences at their dentists. I know I have to do it and I'm sure I'll go through with it, just having people to talk to helps and I appreciate the time you all took to respond.

Answer 1

Your going through exactly what i am i am shamed terrified everything! My doctor put me on to an excellent dentist and he didnt yell he was so nice and freindly and did not say one bad thing about me. I need all mine pulled wisdom too apart from 7 lower front ones. I coudlnt make an app my mother had to, i even freaked out during the xray! My doctor gave me a mild quick sedative that lasts about an hour to calm nerves before they put me under, maybe talk to your local doctor. I have seen the dentist now i feel better but i am still scared and petrified! I can fill you in more about my history if we can contact via email, not sure but happy to tell you what i have done to combat my fear in the last week weeks if it helps you :) Gee my husband doesnt even know how bad my mouth is and i only opened up to my mum 5 weeks ago! Good luck i wish you well (i just have to get thru it first too

Answer 2

You hate the dentist because you wait until something hurts then go. By then everything around the tooth is "up in arms" and difficult for the dentist to get under control. This means things are more difficult to get numb, and then you feel it. But since you're getting IV things should be better for you. Is it IV or gas, either way you'll be put at ease. In the future, just remember to go in for regular check ups because small problems in your mouth don't hurt at all. It's the small problems that will build and become a root canal or an extraction. From a financial standpoint, a 50-60 dollar filling is much easier to do than a 500 dollar root canal treatment, 100 dollar post, and a 800 dollar crown. [prices may vary] Relax, you'll be fine :)

Answer 3

You mother must have been crazy to take you to a dentist who yelled at you. That is just plain dental malpractice and he should have been fired.
Go to the dentist and if you are nervous, tell them ahead of time, so they can help you relax and maybe even prescribe something for you before you go to calm you down.
A lot has changed even in the last 10 years of dentistry. You will do fine.
I go to the dentist every 6 months. The 1st time I went, I was told I needed 8 fillings. I was raised in a poor family and we did not have the money to see the dentist.
The 1st time I went in, he laughed and told me we were having a special, "buy one get one free". He was the kindest person I ever met. I was 18 yrs old and he filled 2 teeth at a time until he got all of them. It took about 3 or 4 visits.
I am 42 yrs old now and I am not afraid.
You will be fine and they are making a living off of your bad teeth, so go in and let them take good care of you. They are not going to tell you off.

Answer 4

Most dentists are very professional people. Just let your dentist and his staff that you are very anxious about the visit. You experienced a very bad dentist, but don't let that stop you now.

Dentists can put you out to do work if you have an extreme fear. Others have TVs that you can watch while getting your teeth worked on ..... my dentist has the TVs.

It's time to get your mouth healthy because it can affect other aspects of your health.

Accept your DIL's offer of support .... sounds like she's a great gal who cares about her mom in law.

Now go brush your teeth, don't forget to floss and envision yourself with some pearly whites !!!

Answer 5

If someone is actually unkind to you, then find a different dentist. No matter what state your mouth is in, it's your own teeth and health that YOU have to deal with. They are there to do their job and give you the care you need.

If comments are made, pretty much as a form of letting you know what you could be doing better, so be it.

Answer 6

I FIND THE WAY IN WHICH YOU WERE TREATED VERY BADLY BY WHAT IS THOUGHT OF BY MOST PEOPLE AS A CARING AND PROFESSIONAL FIELD. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE SOME BAD APPLES DO OCCASIONALLY HAPPEN.

NO DENTIST EVER MUST YELL AT ANY PATIENT!!!

YOU ARE NO LONGER A CHILD AND THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR THE DENTIST TO REACT TO YOU NO W THE WAY HE DID WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG, BRINGING SOMEONE ELSE WITH YOU WILL BE A GREAT IDEA.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEEK A DENTIST WHO CATERS TO COWARDS OR TREATS PEOPLE SCARED OF DENTISTS.
GOOD LUCK! =O)

Answer 7

You remind me of myself a couple of years ago. I was so ashamed and equally scared of dentists but also had big teeth problems.
One day my dad finally convinced me to go to a checkup with him. I met the funniest and sweetest lady-dentist, and have been seeing her for years until she left to Italy. It had become a pleasure to visit her, we had so much in common and she was SO funny :)
Go ahead, you have absolutely nothing to lose. You might even make new friends, who knows? :))

Answer 8

No, a dentist should not yell or shout at you. I am very sorry for your bad experience. If you feel that they are being mean to you, confront them, find a new dentist, or both. They should recommend maintenance techniques but should not berate or belittle you in any way.

Answer 9

Please GO!!!
I hadn't been to the dentist in 10 years, thanks to no insurance, I was scared to death, Now 2 years later I'm so glad I went. I can smile again :-) and no, the dentist won't yell at you. If they do find another one