What is the best shortest/one liner joke you have?

Question

any kind of joke is good.

Answer 1

It takes a Certain type of person to get these jokes and think they are funny, enjoy:
Q. What's red and bad for your teeth?
A. A brick

Q. How do Elephants hide in apple trees?
A. They paint their toenails red
How do we know it works? Have you ever seen an elephant in an apple tree?
Then follow on with;
Q. How did Tarzan die?
A. He picked an Apple

Q. What has green fur, six legs and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A. A pool table

Q. Why couldn't Teddy swim?
A. Teddy was a tractor

Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. Someone threw a fridge at him.

I have heaps more but it would take too long to write the all down.

Answer 2

2 men walked in to a bar, the 3rd guy ducked One easter day a farm's Rooster was strutting around when he saw several multi colored eggs. He immediately ran over and beatup the local Peacock. Did you here about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison?? The newspaper ran a story. It read "Small Medium at Large". Don't worry though. She was hit by a car. Her last words were never saw it coming. How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?? Daddy I need a new apartment Some Bible based oneliners We learn from Adam that, when giving gifts, gifts we make ourselves can be best, case in point he gave a RIB. When Cain offers you a walk, Be smart, don't enAble him to kill you Don't marry the first person you meet, look at Adam and Eve try to find the good in others, The Whale found Jonah to be good , Adam and Eve did at least one thing right, they disprove evolution Be kind. Even dorks, like me, are important, Paul loved DORKus. when annoyed by others count your blessings, at least you aint stuck in the Arc together

Answer 3

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't steel. The government hates competition.

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.

Answer 4

I know that they are long, but they are the only ones I know.

One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.

Number 1:

(Sung to the tune of 'I Believe I Can Fly')

♫ I believe I can die, ♫
♫ I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, ♫
♫ All I wanted was a popsicle, ♫
♫ Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . ♫

Number 2:

Q: What does a television and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.

That's all I got.

Answer 5

ok there is this girl walking home from school right, and this boy says i will give u a doller if u do a summersalt well i sit up in the tree. hahahaha u get it [If u dont,he wants 2 c her panties]..................One more:Why do women have boobs. So u got something 2 look well your talkin 2 them haha so funny

Answer 6

Kid: “dad, I got a role in the school play, I play a man who’s been married for twenty years”.

Father: “That’s great son. One day you’ll get a speaking part”.

Answer 7

Two blondes walk into a building...you'd thing one of them would've seen it!

(Also works with two guys and a bar.)

Oh, and what's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli! eewwww! lol

Just remembered another.
This one's just a little dirty, but...What happens when you put the energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming and coming and coming.....hehehe

Answer 8

your mommas so ugly, when your daddy threw her out on the street, they fined him for littering

What did O.J. Simpson say after the trial?
Can I have my gloves back now?

If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", what is the oposite of PROGRESS?

Answer 9

"You're ugly and your Mother dresses you funny"

"You're a Fool and an Idiot"

After someone uses foul language: "You put your teeth in that mouth?"

Answer 10

Q: Why did a lawyer & a Hooker had a fight?

A: On who would pay?