A guy that sits next to me in class was down, and I do not know him that well, but I say hi to him everyday. So, I asked him if he was okay, and he said no. I said, "well that's not good" and just kind of left it at that because I don't know him too well and I don't want to invade his privacy. Was that okay for me to do that?
2006-11-15 16:37:46 · 19 answers · asked by *~*~*~* 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would suggest an open ended question... something that wouldn't appear too invasive. "Is it something I can help with?" Of course, you have to be wary that this person might be waiting for an invite that way he can pour out all of his emo junk on you and that might not be where you want your limited relationship to go. Otherwise, I think what you did was okay. I figure if he wanted help with it, he probably would've gone further with his answer.
2006-11-15 16:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by puzzlebear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it was ok and you were being polite and at the same time not pressuring him to talk. Next time you are in class together maybe you could tell him that you are there to listen if he needs someone to talk to. This is how you make new friends. Give him your e-mail address or something and if he feels like it he will talk to you at some point and tell you what is up. I met one of me best friends like that. We had a class together and I was kind of depressed because I was new to the school and didn't know many people. She said 'hey, I think you live in the same apartment complex as me' then we started talking and she told me her apt number and I went by there one day. After that we were best buds and were inseparable.
But this is really up to you about whether or not you have time for a new friend. If you are a busy person and would rather keep it on a polite note, then just say hello to him and make small talk.
2006-11-16 01:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, asking him if he was okay was a good start, but having been through a few shy moments myself I can understand why you didn't take it further. It would have been totally acceptable if you had asked him specifically what was wrong and/or if there was any way you could help. If he tells you what's wrong and it turns out to be something you can't help him with, then you could try to find someone who can help him. Don't beat yourself up over this, just remember this in the future and learn from it - it's okay to let someone know that there are still good, helpful people in this world.
2006-11-16 00:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by Deus Maxwell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that that was okay but it sounds to me like you wanted to ask him what was wrong but you did not know how to approach him or maybe he wanted you to ask him because he said he wasn't feeling so good in other words he wouldn't have told you that if he did not want you to know what was going on. So here's my advice next time you see him down like that say it looks like you aren't in the mood or you look like you are down you feel like talking about it and if he says no then you just offer if he needs to talk to you he can when he feels comfortable. This is if you care to know what is going on with him otherwise you did the best thing.
2006-11-16 00:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by wise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he said no he wasn't OK i would take that as an invitation to ask whats up, if he looked down but said he was okay then i would just leave it at that because he obviously doesn't want to talk about it
2006-11-16 00:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by j3zZiKa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't okay to do that. You already invaded his privacy
when you opened your mouth. That was a stupid thing to say to
someone. It comes off as being uncaring and negative. You
should apologize to him, and let him know you realize you may
have said a wrong thing. And be sincere too. not fake. You must
be a real pleasure to be around. Learn to talk more positive. What
comes out of your mouth, is who you are. You can offend some-
one very easily. Put yourself in that other persons shoes, how
would YOU feel...if you were bummed out....and someone made
a comment like that ?? Think about it. It's called having good
people skills, and social skills. Learn from it. And move on.
2006-11-16 00:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Next time ask him what is going on. You could be the one to really make a difference in his life if he just needs someone to listen to him for a couple of minutes.
2006-11-16 00:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was nice of you to ask him if something was wrong. If it was oyu who were having a problem, you would appreciate it if others noticed it and showed some caring.
Once he said that somethiing was wrong I guess he was willing to speak about it.
I usually use this phrase in such cases 'I'm sorry to hear that. If you feel like speaking about it to someone I'm here.'
2006-11-16 02:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by nickyellul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since it will be the next day now, I would ask if things are better now. You can try to get him to talk more by telling him something that didnt go well for you and how you dealt with it.
2006-11-16 00:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by rokdude5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ca be caring with out attachment. Empathy is a coorect placement of interaction in such a case. He is where he needs to be for now. We are not our brothers keeper. Freewill .
2006-11-16 00:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by iamonetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋