you guys i desperately need advise for my 4 year old?

Question

i was the one who asked about him not wanting to sleep in his bed, now theres a bigger issue...he poop in the livingroom! and peed by his room. yesturday he did it again in his room he poop! his scared o going to the bathroom, its not dark theirs plenty of light for him not to be scared. this behavior started all of the sudden, first he dont whant to sleep in his bed, because his scared, even though he has a huge nightlight, and is in the same room as his sisters, and now his so scared to go into the bathroom. that he avoids it and relives himself in other places, what to do?

Answer 1

Whatever you do do NOT give in for he is by pooping and peeing attempting to Manipulate in getting his way and neither is he scared. Take him into the bathroom and show him all around----have (and this is important) HIM look in every nook and cranny-including pushing the shower curtain back and confirming no one there and ,until this episode passes, have the shower curtain pushed back before he goes to bed- and until episode passes(no more pooping or peeing) have him do this every night before bed (also put a nighlight outside the bathroom esp if a hallway leads from his room to bathroom and also have a nightlight in the bathroom. Besure to also get some OVERNITES-call diapers. explain that you can't afford to have floor ruined and can't have people in the house including him getting sick from the Bacteria in pee and poop so even though it makes you sad for him he has to wear diapers again. That he cannot sleep in your room ,your bed but must because he is now 4 sleeps in his own bed-that is just the way it is and Stick to it. He is attempting everything and may try some more things to get his way-sleeping with you but do not give in not even for one night and eventually when it sinks in that you will not be swayed he will resolve himself to sleep in his bed. The same procedure of checking his room every night before bed is also important to be done with him----1. it reassures him that you are concerned for his safety by making sure there is nothing bad there(I have even taken foster kids and shown the deadbolts telling cannot be opened with tools from the outside when they acted scared)2. reassures him there is nothing bad in the bathr.his room or any other room he'll profess scares him 3. confirms that you mean him to sleep in his room.his bed Did not see the other question but is there something new inthe house-pet,person or anything different to him occur that he now wants to sleep with you-some jealousy OR did a sister or sisters scare him-did anyone tell him a ghost or monster story ask him why is he scared for as you know fears are not always, rational for often are irrational-did he see something on TV. Do not chastise him for being scared for it will bring out poop and peeing behaviour but be concerned or to him the fear is very real. The sisters-are they older? Often older siblings will pick on or scare a younger one but i you and he together check everything before bed, may even give him a flashlight for security-eventually he'll reason out there is nothing scary.Sometimes childrenb that age will when watching stuff on TV have scary dreams. Try to find cause but if can't just jkeep on checking everything before bed.

Answer 2

has he just gone through a big life change? problems at home etc?
A good book to read him about being scared of his own room is "Go Away Big Scary Monster" and you both get to yell "Go away big scary monster and don't come back!"
Then you can talk about how monsters are pretend and look under his bed in closet with him and show him no monsters.

Has he given a reason for not using the potty? At four years old you should be able to ask him and him should be able to tell you. Just ask "Why didn't you use the potty?"
I don't think you should punish him but try to find out why he is doing this.

I had a child in my class who wouldn't use the bathroom at school. He was nearly five and would wait until his mum picked him up and put a pull up on him then he would go.
We found out, by asking him, that he thought there were monsters in the potty. So when he went, I would go in there with him then give him a sticker if he went.
It got much better after that.

Good luck.

Answer 3

My son had a similar problem with being afraid to leave his room/bed during the night even when he had to go to the bathroom. At first he was just wetting the bed, but then we put in a little potty next to his bed. It actually worked better without the nightlight, because what seemed to scare him the most was the shadows, which were caused by the nightlight. Try leaving on a light in the hallway.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I agree with the one answerer, it might be that he had a really bad poop once or twice and so it's not really the potty he's scared of, it's going to the potty that bothers him. The poop he did have on the floor, was it very hard? Does he get enough fiber in his diet (like ANY 4 year old gets enough lol).

If you really feel that's not the problem, then here's another solution. Playact with him on getting rid of the 'monster' or 'dragon' in the bathroom. I'm sure that as a boy he has some sort of 'weapon' you can use; a play sword or something. If not, then get a mist bottle at the dollar store and fill it with a combo of water plus a teaspoon or so of alcohol (for the smell effect).

Then be dramatic and with flair and gusto slay that awful monster for him! Poke the side of the toilet with the sword or mist the shower curtain or something and make all sorts of combat sounds while he watches (and hopefully laughs); tell that monster in a firm loud voice that you aren't going to let him get anywhere near your son. Then let him do it, at 4 they all LOOOOOVE play-acting.

The point being that you teach him to battle his fears, you teach him how to handle the things he's afraid of!

Answer 5

As a young child my best friend became what appeared to her mother as unreasonably fearful. What her mother never knew was that the family oriented Walt Disney movie they went to see suddenly displayed a horrible monster while her mother went to the concession stand.

Children aren't always able to articulate what they have seen, heard or experienced. If there is no adult in your household that may have harned your child during the night, think back over some of the movies or tv programs he may have been exposed to at home or while visiting someone else.

Make the evening hours very peaceful by turning off the TV and radio and turning on some quiet music.while you sit by his bed and read him to sleep. The more calm and reassuring you are the more at ease he should become. What an added benefit to have you spend a little more quality time with him.

If he continues the above behavior you should seek professional help.

Answer 6

The doctor who informed you that your knee is a "little worn out" is probably correct... you may just need to give your knee a break for a while. Unfortunately, however, athletes can't afford to take a prolonged "break" from training, so chronic knee pain is very common, especially among runners, and is usually related to some kind of irritation in the tendons. If the MRI didn't show any major tears, you might benefit from physical therapy. Check with your doctor about referring you to a physical therapist, preferably one with a specialization in sports medicine. He/she will evaluate your walking pattern (gait) and your current workout habits and help devise a plan to get you pain free. A quick note on stretching, since several others have mentioned this as a "cure"... stretching, especially if done incorrectly, can cause more damage than good. Most contemporary research has shown that stretching actually INCREASES chances for injury and has NO effect on preventing pain. Depending on the cause of your pain, a physical therapist may teach you how and when to stretch correctly. Just remember: NEVER, EVER stretch a muscle that hasn't been warmed up properly!!!

Answer 7

I don't know bout the scared of his room thing.But my 5 y/o was deathly afraid of useing the toilte when he was 3 till about 6 months ago,we took him to theG.I clinic and found he was scared cus it hurt to poop,he has a problem where the poop gets all backed up in him cus he wouldn't use the tolite,needless to say they did a molases ennima and he takes daily stool softners,now he's no longer scared of the tolite.So maybe you should have your doctor check him,just incase. Also my son never gave any indication that he was having tummy problems,never complained of tummy aches never said it hurt to use the bathroom nothing.So just something to look into maybe.

Answer 8

If he can make it to the living room,why not to the bathroom?Is he sleep walking?Tell him he can not do that.There has to be some way for him to make it to the bathroom.Tell him to come and wake you up and you'll go to the bathroom with him.Have a night lite in your bedroom as well.I think he'll stop.He just got scared.Make him relive himself before bedtime.That should help too.

Answer 9

Have you talked to him about how he feels about going to the bathroom? Why is he scared?

You could try putting a few little potty chairs in the places where he usually likes to go. Praise him like mad for using them, maybe even get a sticker chart or something.

Answer 10

Have you asked him why he is scared due to either reason? Try talking it out with him. Try going with him to the bathroom until he gets over the insecurites. If nothing works, you may have to take him to a doctor to rule out it is nothing medical regarding the bathroom issue.