I have a major crush on a girl, but its a crush on her personality, I can't stop thinking about her, I'm losing sleep right now and I shouldn't because I have school in the morning.
There is more to this situation though, her brother is one of my friends, her dad my pastor at church, her mom a teacher at my high school.
I'm very confused on what I should do. I've been crushing for 3 or 4 months now and its gotten much worse this past two weeks. Like I said I'm llosing sleep over it because I can't stop thinking about her. I'm very very very very shy around women, and I know, "they're human just like you" but I just can't break it, if somone could please help me that would be great!
Thanks in advance!!
2006-11-15 16:28:08 · 10 answers · asked by Confused............ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you are obsessing about this girl. It's not uncommon, we all did that...I know I did, boy after boy after boy when I was young! The reason you can't sleep is you can't find an outlet for your feelings. The only way to get rid of your restlessness and obsession is to let your feelings out or to act on them. You know I bet if you were to talk to an adult about this...to a school counsellor, someone you trust to hold your confidence in this matter, they could help you. Someone who knows you both could actually even pull you together, at least close enough so that you would TALK to this poor girl who is likely clueless to your feelings towards her.
What do you mean it's "a crush on her personality". That sounds like you really admire her and have a great deal of respect for her, that she has qualities that you either like in a girl or would want for yourself. Sometimes we obsess with people because we want to be like them.
You should try to get involved with her somehow, in conversation, in class, in a sport or event. If all else fails you could write her a letter and tell her your feelings.
Just say, hey, I have to get this off my chest because I can't stop thinking about you and I am very shy, but I think you are terrific. I don't want you to panic. I'm not going to stalk you, but I just had to let you know that you are the epitome of a woman and you just had to let her know....something like that where you are not saying I LOVE YOU!!! or making her feel scared or threatened or self-conscious.
You know even if you write these letters and never give them to her, you will do yourself a favour. But you can't go on the way you are obviously...so one way or another the story has to end...or begin...the point is something will change when you make a move forward, maybe for the good, maybe for the bad, but at least you won't be "stuck"...which is the worst thing in the world...I know I've been there and sooner or later you gotta take the risk.
You sound like a really nice boy. My daughter is goign through this phase in high school and I think girls like it when guys just be themselves and make a move and do anything...like this boy threw leaves in her hair today and she's telling me about it and yesterday he told her she looked goth with her hair the way she styled it...it's little baby steps that get you there...say nice things to girls...they like that...just be yourself as you would with any of your other friends and you're already friends with her brother...so let her see what a great guy you are when you're with him. You're already IN there...get over that shyness boy! :~)
2006-11-15 16:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a couple of options:
1. Let it go and forget about it.... and you might lose more sleep later on because of regretting this decision
2. Keep crushing on her from a distance.... and you might never get to be anything more than a crush to her.... so you may regret this
3. You can find a situation where you can sit next to her or see her in class or something, and just smile and say hello to her.
It's hard to break the ice, especially in high school because the pressures are so bad, but it's really worth it in the long run because you learn to interact socially. Just say hi to her and start a conversation: how's your day been, or talk about her brother or something. It will only lead to something better if you're friendly about it.
You don't have anything to lose so go for it!
Good luck!
2006-11-16 00:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by mysticaura29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are that shy over girls try talking to her brother and see if nothing else that you can do something as a three some. If you can tell her brother what is going on maybe the three of you can start doing things together till you feel comfortable enough round her to tell her how you really feel. If you can't talk to her brother since he is one of your friends then go to her father who is your pastor and ask for advice. If you go to her father you can ask for pastoral advice and no names have to be mentioned. He may know who you are talking about but will give you advice as a pastor and not as a father. Hope this works for you.
2006-11-16 00:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by lita ozzy bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, nothing much you can do. Just ride it out. I think what you have is called LIMERENCE which is stronger than a crush and consists of intrusive thinking, like you're getting. Maybe do some research on the Internet about limerence. At least that helps me when I've got it.
2006-11-16 00:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling although I am in college, anyways you have to decide whether or not its worth not saying something and never getting a chance with her or the worst case she shoots you down. Personally it is worth the risk of being denied if you get to spend some time with her in the end. You just need to man up and ask her out. Good luck!
-NmD!
2006-11-16 00:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
on the crush issue.. i think you should gather yourself and try to relax a bit. you are letting this crush affecting you too much. relax and have more confident on yourself. if you like her, why don't you aproach her? you don't have to go to her and tell her tht you like her; just approach her, befriend her (if you have not) and start building a relationship. go slow. try asking her out (first in a group) then as you guys get closer perhaps it would be good for a one-to-one date. do it slow and the chance of rejection will be kept to the minimum.
on the shy thing... it's just a phobia tht everyone has.you will just have to muster enough courage to overcome it. ever watch 'fear factor'? girls are not tht all scary (though they can be at times). you will just have to overcome tht. do not be afraid of them. i wish you all the best.
2006-11-16 00:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by caterpillar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm on the same boat buddy. Look at a few of the answers to my questioin-they seem to be right. It won't matter that her parents are in power, and, honestly, don't worrry about her brother. If you like her, you liker her.
2006-11-16 00:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by Peta Chips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey its normal to have crushes...i think u should befriend her and show ur true personality to her...if she like u then thats good but if not maybe just respect her ...
2006-11-16 00:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by ruth r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask her out or tell her that you like her. it might clear your conscience of your symptoms getting worse, you know.
2006-11-16 00:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get to know her and start from there bro
2006-11-16 00:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by hmongheroz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋