My boyfriend hangs out with a bad crowd. Before we started dating I made him promise to stop doing the things that he had been into(ie-drugs, alcohol, etc-well, not so much alcohol, cuz i do that too, lol ), and since then he has. But he always wants me to go with him and hang out with his friends, and to be honest, I REALLY don't like them. They're pushy and loud and very obnoxious. But he says he's sick of having to go everywhere by himself if he wants to just chill, the way I see it we can "chill" alone whenever he asks and I like it that way. I think we have fun too. I mean he doesn't hang out with me and my friends and the few times he has he pretty much keeps to himself and hangs all over me. So, my question is, is he gonna get sick of this?
2006-11-15 15:56:20 · 13 answers · asked by Rhiannon 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no they'll think you are stuck up and trying to change him which you probably are anyway into a man you like as opposed to the one they like...so why not go buy a puppy or a kitten and play with that instead?
2006-11-15 15:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should be careful. If these friends of his are long termers its dangerous trying to get him completely away from them. As he may one day wake up wondering why his life is so different and why you changed it.
On the other hand he may be maturing, maybe the first from his group to be doing so, eventually they'll all settle down and hopefully be a little less obnoxious.
To answer your question: if he only gets to "chill" when he's with his mates then it could well get more difficult. It sounds then like he has to find another way to chill and this means in a way that isn't necessarily draped over you! Sounds like he needs to meet some new people.
Good luck
2006-11-16 02:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by charlie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Now listen close Jo. The boy has already changed his lifestyle to make you happier, he has as you said, given up drugs and cut down on the drinking, he has shown he's willing to give up frivalous experiences because you are important to him. However, you're now asking him to change his entire social circle, you're asking him to cut people out of his life for you, and as loud and obnoxious his friends may seem to you, they are his friends. I'm betting he's known these guys longer than he's been with you, and there will be a very strong sense loyalty and comradary between them and I think asking him to severe those connections so he can spend every moment then on "chilling" with you and your friends (who he isn't that close to) is askin too much.
Surely you know there's a vast difference between chillin with mates and chillin with your girl/boy friend. If you ask him to give up his friends for you I guarantee he will feel suffocated, you will come accross as needy and possessive and he will resent you for it.
Part of being in a relationship is dealing with the stuff you don't like about a person because there are positives. That's why he's knocked the drugs on the head for you. Cut him a break.
2006-11-16 05:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really i know if he loves you he will do anything for you, but its a bit harsh asking him to stop hanging out with his friends because you don't like them. What if he asked you not to hang out with your friends and how would you feel. You just need to comprimise, he hung out with you and your friends and didn't complain but he doesnt know them and probably a bit shy towards them so he hung over you to feel safe. It nice that he wants you to be there with him when he is with his friends, some people might go out with there friends and not ask their partner along but he wants you to be with him which is nice. Just talk to him about spending the night in together every so often and u two can chill together. Im sure the relationship can last as long as u love. Take care
2006-11-16 14:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by Chappers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should never try to change a man accept him for who he is or walk away. He may not get sick of you. Some time when they know you want out of the relationship they stay and made your life a living hell. You need to give him his walking paper.
2006-11-16 02:01:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes he will eventually get sick of hanging without his mates....he may love you, but he is male and they need each other...you may not like them...compromise....when you go and hang with your girls, he will go hang with his boys....then you can have time and hang and chill together...relationships are all about compromise....if things stay the same you will lose him
2006-11-16 09:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by Pacific Princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it only depends if he loves u if he dose he will do whatever he can to make u happy.and if he don,t care then he will keep on hanging with them.my bf his the same way and i cant stand his friends but he don,t care what i thank alest yall hang out with ur frientds i,m not aloud around my friends.let me now how it gose and if u need some one to talk to girl i,m here sn daddyslittlegirl819@yahoo.com.
2006-11-16 00:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by daddyslittlegirl819 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well i dont like some of my husband's friends. we've been together for 6 years and i very rarely hang out with them. i'm not made to feel welcome at all when i'm with them and i get ignored so now i just refuse to do it. as long as you both have some mutual friends that you can both hang out with together then it shouldn't be a huge issue.
2006-11-16 02:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by Kerri 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you set out to change him or rescue him..he's exactly where he wants to be and won't change until he wants to for himself. it's not going to last and you'll end up mothering him. save yourself all the heartache and low self esteem. leave him to it. tell him when he grows up to give you a call..tough love where this behaviour is concerned. save yourself honey
2006-11-16 03:54:29 · answer #9 · answered by minerva 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
probs not as he ain't gonna leave his freinds unless hes a decent guy
2006-11-16 03:26:30 · answer #10 · answered by hellwot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋