He was abused for about 2-3 years by his last father, I gess some dude who raised him. His mother left him at nine. Now he's sixteen and lives with us.
It's been going good but every time my dad tries to joke, he gets scared; he won't let anyone touch him, my grandmother tried to hug him and he shyed away from her.
Tonight my dad lost his temper and yelled at me (I was wrong, I admit) but he was right in the other room. Now he's locked himself in his room and won't come out. What should I do?
2006-11-15 15:45:37 · 10 answers · asked by I think... 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell him through his door that you and Dad are sorry and you love him. Then tell him you will keep your distance when he decides to come out and wait for HIM to talk or be near to you and your Dad. Instead of you guys trying to get close to him when he comes out, let HIM be in control. He never had this, and it is what he needs most. Abused kids can't be sure their bodies are safe from assault because the very people who were supposed to protect them instead invaded their personal boundaries and assaulted them.
Think of him like a small animal that was abused. A lot of the same things that would help a little puppy trust people again may help him too. No, he's not an animal, people are much more complex. That's why they can end up with so many problems from being abused. Still, at least this will help you understand him and it's a place to start. Good luck and prayers for all of you.
2006-11-15 15:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by musemessmer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him (everyone) that he's okay, and not in that negative environment anymore. In time he will learn that its okay to let his guard down, but if he got abused for a couple years, its going to take some time. His behavior is normal, and requires a lot of love and patience.
2006-11-15 15:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by ~carmie~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
knock on his door and tell it is you and ask if he wants to talk and you are available to chat anytime he has a problem if he opens the door then great if not then let him know that you are just down the hall anytime he is ready to talk and that talking about something will usually help you feel better... make sure he knows that anything he tells you will remain between the two of you unless he wants you to tell your parents
2006-11-15 15:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by hda77137 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest family counseling
2006-11-15 15:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by joda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest your parents getting all yall in counciling for you brothers sake. it might help him relate that just because some one raises there voice he isnt going to get beat.. also it would be good if the family doesnt push them selves on him because that just makes him more scared
2006-11-15 15:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by loveinit2345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to knock on his door and ask him if you can go in talk with him...sounds like he needs some one to tell him its okay
2006-11-15 15:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by lilbit_883_hugger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could talk to him to let him know everything is alright.
2006-11-15 15:52:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST TALK TO HIM AND LET HIM KNOW EVERYTHING WILL BE OK JUST MAKE HIM FEEL COMFORTABLE HE JUST NEEDS SOME ONE TO TALK TO AND LOVE HIM.
2006-11-15 15:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by vanessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs counseling...
2006-11-15 16:04:57 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your parents deal with it, that's what they are there for.
2006-11-15 15:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋