We just adopted a teenage boy (16) in our house. Everytime my dad says something he jumps out of his skin and does it right away. He's terrified of my dad and my dad hasn't layed a hand on him. He does come from an abusive background, though.
He's not very scared of my mom or me but has a hard time interacting with our uncle Jeff when he comes to visit. What should we do?
2006-11-15 15:32:31 · 11 answers · asked by I think... 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Lots of patience, and let him know it's OKAY to feel the way he's feeling.
There a whole lot of trust that has to be reclaimed before he will be able to feel comfortable.
Do talk to him about it though, let him know that everyone is aware, and he can take as long as he needs to feel comfortable. It's okay.
Patience. Love and Understanding.
Everybody in that family has to show him he's safe.
Can your dad spend a day with just him and maybe your uncle? Just the three of them, go to an auto show, sporting event, fishing it doesn't matter a whole day just for him.
It sounds like he deserves that much.
God Bless.
2006-11-15 15:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Oh, I see 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counting on your state, your cousin will really be able to undertake. some states do not enable second individual adoption so except your cousin and his female friend get married, he stands proud because the really one adopting. Secondly, back, counting on your state, the age massive difference requirement to undertake an adolescent through foster care adjustments. In my state, the foster ascertain/skill adoptive ascertain ought to be a minium of 5 years older than the youngster. If he adopts a baby through foster care, i'd fantastically propose a tween or a youthful teen. no better than 13 or 14 and to be common, 14 is pushing it thinking he's 24 and has not different parenting journey than parenting a 4 month previous. for my area from what you written, and it would nicely be your words and not in any respect an precise depiction of how your cousin feels yet i don't think of every person is needs to undertake an older baby because his 4 month previous "isn't very relaxing" could undertake. for sure, 4 month previous children are not relaxing. they are really 4 months. they could't fairly do a lot and are completely depending on the ascertain. And the foster care agency is going to need to understand why he needs to undertake even as he has this style of youthful baby. upload to the actual shown actuality that he has a severe compelled interest, i don't think of that is the perfect theory. little ones are problematic even contained in the finest of circumstances yet upload in each and each and every of the needs a foster baby has, the needs of a 4 month previous and his interest, i imagine he will be biting off better than he can bite. that's an impressive sentiment yet i'd tell him to attend many years, get married to his female friend, get some extra parenting less than his belt and then foster or undertake. If he does come to a call to do it now, he could undertake a a lot youthful baby in spite of the actual shown actuality that in the course of the present day, i imagine he could wait.
2016-11-24 21:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs time, he was abused, just show him a lot of love and support and he will come out of this, he may also need some counseling, being loved will be new to him and if he is shying away from your dad I would say that the male in his life before was the abuser. Just let time take its course and things will be ok.
2006-11-15 15:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a teenager, and if you ask him, he won't answer. Soo you have to try with other method, for example, the things he write, or what he paint...
To check his things is invasive, but if the comunicatinal sistem doesn't works you might can help yourself by looking for "signals"...
You can find a cute moment, or in his bedroom when he's going to sleep, a calm dialogue might be the solution.
Ask carefully, don't try to guess his feelings, just ask
2006-11-15 15:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by Nathaly S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the fact that it will be a long time before the boy trusts anyone that reminds him of the person or persons who conditioned him to respond with fear to these other men. Love and accept him as he is.
2006-11-15 15:36:25 · answer #5 · answered by bdenton2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure as his sister that you tell him your dad has never hurt you neither has youre uncle make sure that he knows that everyone cares for him, he not like a dog he has feelings too, my husband was adopted and he was jumpy around everyone... just be careful and dont"pick" with your dad like about i'll mess you up, u know even jokingly, that could make him more scared than he already is...
2006-11-15 15:38:58 · answer #6 · answered by tiffany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know thats a tough problem i would try talking to him and seeing whats the matter
2006-11-15 15:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by xxforeverfamousxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him commly wats goin on and just have a nice long conversation.
2006-11-15 15:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by shelby a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your adoption caseworker about it.
2006-11-15 15:35:46 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him that you guys are a loving kind family
2006-11-15 15:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋