Is it realistic to tell teens they should abstain from sex until marrage? Or would it be better to assume that they will be sexually active, but to make sure they always use protection?
2006-11-15 15:05:58 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are numerous reasons why abstinence education is a good method for teenagers. First lets look at Condom Statistics:
The failure rate for Latex Condoms is 3% as stated on the package
But that is only on the machines in the labs, On real people that percentage increases to near 14%. However that is taking the whole population as a whole. If you isolate that only to the teenage population than it spikes to around 30%. Which let me tell you is quite a risk to take. Now, I am not saying that 1 in 3 condoms will fail, what it means is that if 100 girls become sexually active and have sex regularly over the course of a year, then at the end of the year, statistically, 30 will be pregnant.
Also, Condoms were NEVER designed to protect against STD's, they do provide a small level of protection which is why the packages can clame they do, but all Condoms are made with small wholes in them that allow them to breath, the wholes are small enough that sperm dosen't pass through, but STD's are much smaller than sperm and can get through much easier.
Also, the girl could be on the pill, but that dosen't protect against STD's and if you go on the pill, then your no longer talking about,...oh maybe well lose controll and we weren't planning on it but things got out of hand ....if your on the pill then your kind of all ready planning on it.
Lastly, most teenagers aren't having sex. The world wants you to beleive that all teens are out there partying and sleeping around. But that really isn't the case when you really look at the facts and listen to the students. So by saying "everyone's doing it, use protection" you are perpetuating the stereotype that it's what everyone is doing.
Teenagers aren't mentally or emotionally prepared for the emotional strain early sexual activity it can cause a lot of pain and hurt in the years to come. So Abstinence is and continues to be the best approach when talking to teens about sex.
2006-11-15 15:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by lilly g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the spiritual upbrining in the household and the closeness in the relationship between the child and the parents.
The only way I have seen abstinence work is in a teen filled with the Holy Spirit. I don't mean guilted into thinking that sex is a sin and that they will go to hell if the do it. Or that they will dissappoint someone in the family etc.
I mean someone that has been raised in an environment that teaches the love and the Word of God
Someone that truly understands what God has in store for them and seeks to follow His ways, not because they have to, because they so chose.
My teenage daughter has chosen, on her own, to purchase a Purtiy ring and sign a vow of abstinence until her wedding day. She is looking for a boy with the same faith and beliefs as her own. I know she will face temptation but I have faith that God will see her through. I also have tried to create a non judgemental environment between the two of us so that she can and does talk openly about these issues. If I think the pressure becomes to much for her I will, of course, make sure that she is protected.
I am not saying that all teenagers posess this strong personal relationship with God, and without it in this day and age I do not see many teenagers making it through high school with their virginity. It is just not mainsteam. I think All teeneagers should be given education on All types of protection, including abstinence. If I had been taught what my daughter has been taught it would haved saved me much pain and suffering. Every girl needs to know that there are boys/men out there willing to wait. If they can not withstand temptation now how are they going to do it when they are married. Temptation does not stop when you say I do. Learn to control it now.
2006-11-15 15:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by barksabit 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's good to learn that abstinence is OK and what to do if sex should happen as a teen. People in this country get married so late - who is going to wait until 27 or 30. That's a long time to have the itch. A few partners over the course of a life is probably healthiest. But promiscuity creates alot of problems in all areas of your life.
2006-11-15 15:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by oh really 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Protection. It's great if they decide to wait, but a lot of them won't no matter what you say to them. I think it's best to tell them that abstinence is ideal, but that you know that may not be a realistic expectation, and then explain the importance of protection.
2006-11-15 15:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by redhairedgirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I always loved what my parents did--
They preached on absintence. They made the point that babies are hard to raise, and they made that fact by getting both my sister and I into baby sitting. We learned early on that babies aren't easy. They also taught us about STDs and the damage they cause.
They also said that if we were to ever become sexually active, they wanted us to know that they would gladly go out and get us birth control and condoms.
In reality, I think it's important to preach both the important of abstinence and the important of using protection, whether from a health or religious stand point.
2006-11-15 15:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is VERY realistic to tell teens that they should just ABSTAIN from sex till marriage.
Even if people use protection, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. They can still get pregnant. Birth control isn't 100%.... condoms aren't 100%.
Better safe than sorry. Save the sex for marriage.
It's not that hard to abstain from sex.
I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and we're waiting till we're married.
People need to have a little more dignity than that.... thinking sex is so hard to get away from. Geez...... freakin' animals.
2006-11-15 15:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't understand why we don't give credit for the brains our teens have.
If we would just stop pushing the "assumptions" and FULLY educate them as to the dangers (both physical and emotional) of sex before marriage, I'm sure it's realistic.
I abstained, and I was 28 before I got married, does that make me a stupid wall flower lame-o? I don't think so!
Kids are bombarded with sexual images and situations every second of every day, and make no mistake.... WE ARE ALLOWING IT.
WE are teaching them that sex is free with no stings attached, that we are just animals with natural sexual tendencies....
WAKE UP people - there is a brain attached to your penis and your vagina's.... and it WILL get damaged if you believe that sex is a free for all.
if kids were told that , along with a good education about the workings of their bodies and how STD's, birth control options (the truth about them) and pregnacy - I believe they would make a much more informed decision when it comes to their bodies.
2006-11-15 15:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
to think all kids will abstain is just foolish. some will many wont. its best to just educate teens so they know how to properly protect themselves and dont end up on yahoo answers asking could i be pregnant?!.. kids seriously need to know the straight up information about their sexuality, its a part of their basic health. i dont think we should asume all kids will have sex though. so instead i think its best to give all kids infomration... even the ones who's parents object (its a basic human right to know how your body works and how to prevent illness and unwated children). and then having given this info i think we should then encourage kids to wait. wait for what? marriage for some, love, good healthy relationships... what ever is best for that teen. also not everyone gets married. i know lots of people in their late 20's and 30's that are not married... do you really think they are not going to have sex?!
2006-11-15 15:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by nikki 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It isn't realistic. There's always the possibility of slipping up in a weak moment when making an abstinence vow. And in that weak moment, proper precautions might not be taken. It's better to plan it out and be ready for it, regardless of being married or not.
2006-11-15 15:10:38 · answer #9 · answered by i luv teh fishes 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I see no reason to encourage anyone to only have sex during marriage...
However I would counsel teens to wait until they are mature enough to handle sex and the potential consequences of it (pregnancy, STDs)....until they know about the various forms of birth control and have wisely chosen what to use...until they know how to use condoms to help prevent STDs and they are getting tested regularly for them (if they are sexually active)...until they can deal emotionally with the feelings that can occur for another person when you become intimate...
Until the above is under control...a person should not have sex...no matter how old they are...
2006-11-15 15:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋