I'm in a commited lesbian relationship, but recently I've been having feelings for a male coworker...?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. However, a male coworker of mine and I have been getting to know each other really well. I haven't felt this way about a guy in over 10 years. He's talented, educated and everything I look for in a partner. He knows I'm with my girlfriend, but we both can't help the way we feel. What should I do?

Answer 1

Fidelity counts for a lot, but how does your committed partner feel about a threesome?

Answer 2

Well we all know this whole gay-marriage thing has become a success. I don't see any reason why in the next 5-10 years the whole country agrees that it should be legal, I do too. So while this revolution is already underway...why don't you start another one? The threesome relationship. Maybe it should be legal to have a husband and wife, a wife and wife, a husband and husband, a husband and husband and wife, a wife a wife and a husband, or another variation I havn't thought of. I don't think there should be a limit on marriages.

But seriously. I think you should really think about your sexuality, it's quite possibly you are a bi-sexual. I dont know how old you are but I think it's possible to not really change but sort of learn of new sexualites you possess as you get older, no matter what age. Actually looking at your question again you probably already know you're a bi-sexual. So a better answer I would say is, and well treat this like any normal relationship problem if you arn't right now. You should think about this: You've been with your girlfriend for 3 years, now from what I've read and only that sentence, I think yall are doing fine and there seem to be no problems. However there may be problems I don't know about. Now you're thinking about getting with a male-coworker, you only RECENTLY got to know. Well that sounds pretty rediculous doesn't it, you're thinking about ditching a relationship you've been in for 3 years, for a little flirty office co-worker relationship. Now if you seriously think it could be something, then sure end your 3 year thing, or better yet, don't end the 3 year thing FOR the co-worker, but if you end up ending it soon, maybe you can think about this guy. But just judging from common sense and other stories and stuff like this, I completely doubt you're gonna have a successful relationship with this guy, most of the time with things like this you dump the relationship you've had for multiple years for something dumb like this and you end up just getting cheated on or something.

But in the end what it comes down to is...do what you want!

and good luck!

Answer 3

You should have been more open with your partner about your feelings with this man before it got to this level. You are not committing adultery yet, but talking about it is almost as bad. You need to tell her what you have been feeling and that you have talked with this man. Secrets in a relationship will only cause problems and the longer you keep them the worse it gets. So, even though she may be mad, she will eventually be glad you told her about your feelings before anything else happened. Next step, is you deciding what's going on in your brain emotionally. You and your partner should still constantly be talking, and if you are thinking you may not have feelings for your partner anymore, well then it must end somehow unfortunately. And a heart gets broken and you must face your consequence of doing that to her, whatever that may be for you emotionally. I'm sorry that it had to come to this point for you, but you must do something about it now before it gets worse. Talk to someone. Especially talk to your partner, because communication is the key to any good relationship.

Answer 4

thats a tough situation. all you can do is explore your feelings and the answer will come to you. you have to follow your own heart on this one. no other person knows what can or will make you, as an individual happy. maybe you should spend more time with this guy and make sure what you are feeling for him is real instead of just temporary infatuation. I know its a hard decision for you, especially with you being in a long term relationship. i know you dont want to throw away what you really have for something thats not what you thought it was. (hope that makes sense)
I wish you the best of luck!!!!

Answer 5

Good for you. Way to go. High five yourself. The logical thing to do is follow your heart. God made man and woman to be together. Not 2 men or 2 women. There is a great deal at stake here. Someone loves you, and is leading you down the right path. Don't get off the path. Stay focused. Follow your heart at this very moment. Forget about the pass. Press onward.

Answer 6

Apparently, you are not so committed after all. What a mess! Your partner is going to go Ga-ga when she finds out.

Passion is a helluva thing.......Geeze.......If you
and your male co-worker want more, you should probably end the other relationship before you betray the relationship with
your girl friend. You have to decide this one on your own.

Answer 7

You should talk to your girlfriend. Hopefully, she will understand. If she doesn't your coworker sounds like a nice guy and he will definetly understand. You guys can hang around and be friends until the time is right, but you should still be friends with your current girlfriend.

Answer 8

You are Bi most probably. Well, it is the same rules as any regular relationship. You will have to dump someone, cheat on someone, or stay with the same person.

Answer 9

okay, so you're bisexual.. no big deal. but if ur in a serious relationship then you should stay loyal to your partner.

Answer 10

bisexual..............? well you can have a girlfriend monday, tuesday, and wednesday, then you have a boyfriend thursday, friday, then saturday!!!

im just joking, just do what you heart tells you, i cant tell you what your sexuality have to be