i feel like i'm being used for sex but he tells me he loves me like twenty times a day so i don't know what to think can someone help me. Please!
2006-11-15 14:54:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People express love in so many forms, it could very well be he is unsure how to love you so he just says it when he is thinking it?
Do you love him? if you feel like your being used, that cant be healthy or happy for you. If he didnt love you would it be different? does he have to love you to have sex? If something feels off to YOU, trust yourself... and do what you think is right.
2006-11-15 15:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Test him. To see if the sex is all that matters, tell him that you want to stop having sex for a bit. Tell him that you want to go out to a movie or maybe do something that involves spending time together besides having sex. If he is true to what he tells you 20 times a day, then he will understand what you're saying and he'll try to make more out of the relationship than what it is now. But the Best thing you could do is talk to him about it after the fact though. Seeing things for yourself is good but assuming something is not and guys hate that. ASK HIM.
2006-11-15 23:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by ♥aNgeL eYeS♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want to stop having sex with him for a while. DONT be specific about the length of time you want to stop. If he REALLY loves you then he will be there when you are ready. If he is there after a week don't be surprised, but if he is there after a month he deserves his kudos for that. Plus this might give you a chance to plan a really romantic night out for you two (may be for the night you plan on letting him have all of you back again). This might be really hard on you, but you have to be persistant. NO sex, absolutely none. Giving him just a taste gives him the hint that you are a softie and he can have you whenever he d*** well pleases. If he stays you both win. He gets you and you get him. If he walks, then you win. You may have been a sucker for a while, but he doesn't have you. Remember this is to be sure he loves you, not likes you. Take it seriously and you may know who your future husband is going to be. Don't take it seriously and you'll be left with a broken heart and you'll be just another girl he used.
...Something to remember for a while
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!
The very best of luck!
2006-11-15 23:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by chromecranium 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all: are you sure that it is not you who is paranoid or is thinking that he is using you for sex? second, go with your guts and instincts! third: how long have you two dated and how long do you feel that he is using you? fourth:sit down and actually think it out. fifth, if you feel maybe you should slow down the relationship a bit! sixth, if a guy tells you that he loves you 20 times a day yet you still question him there is something wrong! do you feel that he actually means when he says that he loves you or are those words that he wants you to hear? seventh, you are either lacking self esteem, confidence, have been hurt in the past or do not want to be hurt again or know that he is with you for one thing. i say for you to actually take it slowly, look on the bright side and if you still have that feeling that he is using you then turn to your friends and ask them as well as your family for their honest advice. their answers and opinons could mean the whole world of a difference and they see things that you do not see! if they tell you the same thing as what you are feeling then break up and move on!
ps: stop having so much sex with him to see if he likes you for you or you for the sex itself
2006-11-15 23:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him less sex and more general love and see how he acts. If he is using you just for the sex his actions will be obvious. Saying i love you is very important but 20 times a day is a lot he might be compensating for something like say not really loving you and feeling guilty about using you so he will in his mind give you a good feeling and by doing that he might be able to quite his guilt.
2006-11-15 23:06:07 · answer #5 · answered by sucker4chicks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a young woman who is under the influence of a controlling man. I've been there. There's much truth in the saying, "Action speaks louder than words." Has he given you anything else but sex and 20x a day worth of words that shout, "I'm insecure?" You've asked the question, but I believe you already know the answer both in your heart and most importantly in your guts. True Love would not have you feeling used.
2006-11-15 23:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by swan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't just tell you he loves you twenty time you have to feel the love. It is easy to tell someone you love them if it help you to get what ever you want. Wake up if you are asking this question you our ready know the answer
2006-11-16 02:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What else is there...just sex and "I love you"? Is there nothing else to the relationship? Don't you think 20 times is somewhat excessive?
Perhaps he means that he loves having sex with you. Back off of the sex and see if the love is still there...
2006-11-15 22:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
twenty times a day..sounds a bit much..either you still don't believe him or he doesn't mean it. stop having sex until you feel more secure with the relationship and yourself..then you'll know
2006-11-16 03:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want to have sex all of the time, simply tell him that you do not want to, if he has a problem he does not really love you
2006-11-15 22:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by heynow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋