We fought once before because of something with his girlfriend. I won the fight, but I stopped it because I thought it was a stupid reason. He sends me a message saying not to talk to his girlfriend and that it's not over.
He's underage and I'm 18. I'm about 7" taller than this guy, so my reach is longer. He used to be my friend, but now he just keeps wanting to go at it. His girlfriend tries to convince him not to fight, but he won't listen. I'm not scared of fighting him, I just don't feel like fighting for such a stupid reason. Usually when I fight, it's because I have anger towards a person. There's no anger.
Should I just fight him or should I convince him it's stupid?
2006-11-15 14:50:19 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
If I should defuse the situation, how would I go about doing it?
Oh and I put it under military because it was the closest thing I could find besides "Men's health"
2006-11-15 14:59:21 · update #1
Look, if both you and his girlfriend have tried to talk him out of fighting and have explained that you have no desire to fight, then all you can do is just drop it. There is no need in trying to fight him to prove to him that he is stupid, because he will just try to fight again. He may call you a coward, but is it really cowardice to try be the better man? Integrity is the most important thing to have in this world, if you give that up for a stupid reason then you will have a hard time getting it back. So the best advice I can give is, if he won't try to be reasonable, then just don't deal with him anymore, don't worry about it.
"If we give up who we are to prove something is stupid, then all we have become is stupid". Just think about that.
2006-11-15 17:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Besides the obvious answer that you've already given ("it's stupid"), think of the possible legal or medical reasons not to do it. Apparently you tower over this kid, and could probably hurt him quite badly even if you didn't intend to. Depending what state you are in, you could be arrested for assaulting a minor, and regardless of what state you are in you could be arrested for battery.
I don't want to be a hypocrite and say that I've never had to fight, but there is a time, a place and a reason for it. If he attacks you, defend yourself. If he's going to do nothing but run his mouth, ignore the kid. You're an adult now, you shouldn't have to get into childish fights at least until you're old enough to get into a couple of bars. ("Hey, dude, stop looking at my woman!")
You make whatever decision you feel you have to, but judging by the fact that you asked the question, you already know how you should deal with this situation.
2006-11-15 22:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by Retrodvs 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You will never convince him, he is stupid! He wants to fight because his limited intelligence tells him it is his only way to gain control over his life. Nothing goes right for him in anything he does in life, and he is desperately trying to gain some control. He probably has a GF who submits to him, and that is the only reason she is his girl friend. Anyone who does not submit to him, as he tries to bully his way through life, becomes his enemy. How sick he is is the real question, and will he finally resort to some kind of serious violence, and truly hurt you no matter how big you are. This is the whole secret to video games. Most people who play the real voilent ones are not violent, and just want to have some semblence of control over their lives. Fighting is always a last resort, but sometimes it is necessary to get a jerk off of your back. My son was so afraid of a bully in sixth grade we had to take him out of school and teach him at home that year because of the fear. In 9th grade the same bully was in his class, but the school was much larger and they hardly ever saw each other. But alas, another kid came up to him and started. Finally I said, "Well it is time to face this," as I remembered I had nothing but trouble with bullies until I faced one. My son suprisingly told this guy to meet him after school. He called his older brother to be there just to make sure there was hanky panky with his other friends too. They fought and my son held his own. All during the rest of his time in High School he just kind of swaggered around the school and once he was told one guy wanted to challenge him, but was told, "Oh no! Not him! He can hold his own." Nothing more was ever said, and in college he was in several fights at parties and gained the reputation that he was no one to fool with. Now a days however, there is the great equalizer - the gun, and fighting is never what it used to be when Johnny Cash sung about the "Boy Named Sue."
P.S. the boy who bullied him in 6th grade was found a couple years after high school dead in a field his hands tied and a bullet in the back of his head I am sorry to say.
2006-11-15 23:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by arnp4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore him. Do you want to hurt someone for no reason? If you just leave him alone, he'll know that you dont want to fight him and he'll go away. It could get you in a lot of trouble too. You never want to fight someone just because you can. He doesn't know what he's talking about when he wants to pick a fight. Dont even tell him its a stupid reason cause he'll get mad and start the fight. Just walk away.
2006-11-15 22:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by =\ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is needing someone to talk to. Why not tell him you miss him as a friend and ask him if he'd like to go out for a pizza. That way you could listen to his venting in a public space. If he gets physical, you can walk away and have witnesses to his behavior.
You shouldn't fight him nor can you convince him it's stupid. He will have to come to that conclusion himself. Since your older than him, some brotherly outreach might be in order.
2006-11-15 23:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by ditsyquoin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he takes a punch at you, kick his butt. But if it is only words and that does not bother you, then let it go. You could tell him to knock it off and you will have nothing to do with the girl any longer, but tell him if he continues, you will make a point of seeing her. That might work. But in the real world , you may have no choice. But if you do have to fight him, do a good job of it, let there be no question of who won. And make him promise to stop before you let him go.
Good Luck.
2006-11-15 22:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by It All Matters.~☺♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're saying it first had something to do with his girlfriend, but didn't say what. I'm thinking if he's still pissed you either insulted her or slept with her or something.
Did you?
If an adult, the guy would be a psycho. But he is actually a kid, so he's more likely just a dumbass.
Do talk to him, hope you get somewhere.
2006-11-15 23:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by WJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think convince him it's stupid!Because you could be caught while fighting and then go to jail,(well at least you cause your old enough)and then you'd hate him even more!I mean is fighting over some stupid thing worth ruining a friendship?What you think the answer to this question is the answer to your question.
= equals meaning
No=Convince him it's stupid.
Yes=Fight him!
2006-11-15 22:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, if your 18 and he's under age, he could get you in alot of trouble. It's really not worth it over a girl. Stay away from him. He might just be wanting you to do something so he can turn and press charges, walk away from him, and his girl.
2006-11-15 22:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by 123..WAIT! 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Go to the local cop shop and talk to a detective. Get the story on record and consider pressing charges. Each time he threatens you report it to the cops.
If he goes nuts on you beat him to a bloody pulp.
You will have a record of his verbal assaults and your concern for your safety on record.
You will be one step ahead of the game.
2006-11-15 23:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋