Advice Please, on my 20 month old son, 2 questions actually?

Question

My son will be 2 in Feb. He is very whiny. He never listens to me either. He doesn't really listen to anyone. He's had his hearing tested and can hear. He is constantly running and jumping around and disobeying me on purpose.He won't sleep in his room. He won't ever calm down. When he is tired it is like 500 times worse. he will intentionally hurt people and laugh at them. How can i get him to behave? I've tried lots of things so I thought I'd ask other parents. tried time outs, talking with him, giving him more attention, and other things.

Another thing I was wondering about is that every two weeks, you can almost time it. He will spike a fever a start throwing up. i give him tylenol and he will be better usually by the next day. Most of the time he drinks juice. He gets dairy from cheese and other things, but it seems that everytime he throws up he's had a cup of chocolate milk. I know he's not allergic bc he eats chocolate and has milk in his cereal with no problems. Any ideas?

on his behavior, we've tried spanking too. it doesn't work. he doesn't care. I wouldn't hit him hard enough to leave any kind of mark, bc it hurts my feelings to smack his butt or leg, but he'd just walk away. He used hurt himslf more by banging his head on everything causing huge bumps.

Answer 1

Wow well first off I heard of terrible two's and it sounds like you got it worse of all I ever heard... I havent reached that stage yet but personally if I were in your position which I will be one day in two years- you may not agree but I would spank him and put him to bed early or on time out... I mean after so many spankins he should get the point. I mean other than spankin him you tried everything I couldnt possibly advise you to do anything else. So spank him or deal with it! Good Luck
Oh regards the other question I dont know if its quite the same thing chocolate and milk in cereal. Maybe theres some ingredients in the chocolate milk that he is allergic too... or try making his chocolate milk like at the nestle's to the milk or something if thats not what you are already doing! Good luck with that too.. he is probably irritable!

Answer 2

How high is the fever? If it is over 102, then you definitely need to get him checked. Does he have a rash at all or does he ever? Those are two good symptoms of strep in toddlers. That is how my 20 month old was when he had it. He had it in his sinuses though, and every few weeks he would spike a fever, start getting sick, then we'd go on antibiotics. Turned out that the strep infection was penicillin resistant and he needed rocephin shots to cure it. Is your guy a daycare baby? Daycare babies are more prone to the "weird" infections. Definitely need to see a doctor on that one.

Behavior? Well, that is terrible twos. My guy has started that bit too. It gets really bad if he is bored. You really should pick a style and stick with it. Time outs are hit or miss at this age. Redirection methods usually work best. And limit your use of the word "no." To preserve its integrity.

Is he talking ok? You said he has hearing trouble. Does he sign? If he is having some trouble with communication, then that could be fueling the behavior. He is finally to the age when he WANTS to communicate and knows everything he needs to communicate...but if he can't, he's gonna get frustrated. This is one of the major reasons for biting, hitting, and tantrums at this age. So, if he has trouble communicating verbally...work with him a little more on communicating with hand signals. Also, make sure that you give him your attention when he talks. With Mason, my 20 month old, sometimes if I just acknowledge that he is trying to tell me something, he is happy with it. Even if I say "No." For example, tonight Mason (my 20 month old) was coloring on my kitchen floor with a crayon, so I took it away. He got angry and threw a tantrum, just crying his eyes out. I reached down and gave him a hug and said, "I know you are frustrated, but you can't color on the floor. You can color on paper. We'll play with the colors again tomorrow." He cried on my shoulder for a minute and then that was it. He went and found another toy. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a toddler. It must be so tough, really, to have so many emotions that you don't understand and can't communicate, without any control over anything in your own life. Crazy. Add to that a hearing impairment....

Good luck momma, you are doing ok. We'll all get through this...at least that is what I tell myself in mantra every single day. :-)

Answer 3

Stop giving him chocolate and milk, milk is mucus producing and sugar can make him euphoric and crazy. Definately change his diet, he is an overactive child who needs to be disciplined and needs structure. First get him off cheese, milk and sugar and yeasty things like donuts. For juice I only recommend to have it thinned with water. Juice and pop have way too much sugar.
He needs to eat fruit, and lots of it and veggies. Try 1% milk on him with his cereal. Then he needs to have a routine, and should be in bed by the latest at 8 pm. He needs the rest because he's active. You need to be strict and firm, even if he yells and screams put him back into bed with water only. It will take a few days to put up with the screaming but most of the time its over within 3 -5 days. When he hits people and things that's funny take him aside and show him the toy that you're taking away as punishment, you need to be very firm and it will bother you, but keep on doing it and if he doesn't listen to you, he also needs to be punished with taking away something he loves. He needs time out on a mat in the kitchen for 5 minutes, if he gets up, put him on it again, you have to be consistent. If he pulls a tantrum let him writhe on the floor and walk away. He wants an audience. if he doesn't have one he'll stop. You might have to do this for a few weeks but it is well worth it. Think of the nice little boy you will have afterwards. Toddlers at that age know more then you think. Children get raised properly in the first two years of their lives, whether it is manners or behaviour.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

His behavior indicates "the terrible twos" ignore the whining. If you pay attention to it it WILL get worse. He isn't listening because he is TWO. He disobeys because you're funny when you get angry, (next time you get angry take a look in a mirror), and you give him attention. THAT is what he wants. It doesn't matter to a two year old what kind of attention they get as long as they get ATTENTION. They don't differentiate between good attention and bad because they really don't know the difference they're only two. Also some kids get mean if their blood sugar gets too low. You might want to try feeding him smaller meals throughout the day rather than just three meals. I found this worked quite well for my daughter. You don't have to go to great lengths for these small meals. Rice cakes and peanubutter and jelly, carrot sticks with something to dip into, my daughter's favorites were cucumber sandwiches. As for the illness it could be some type of allergy, he could be allergic to the mixture of cholcoate and milk.

Answer 5

FIRST QUESTION
It sounds like he has hit the "terrible twos". My advise is to ignore the little trivial stuff, turn off. Then when it comes to the more important behaviour eg, safety for him, he knows u r serious. Always reward him for any positive behaviour with praise and cuddles. I know this is a really trying time but in hang there it doesn't last forever. Make sure u and ur partner r also using the same methods.

QUESTION 2
i would take him to ur doctors. He may not react to small amounts of milk but in larger amounts he may react, eg a glass of milk.

Answer 6

Whew! Sound like you have your hands Full. Did a search and dound several interesting sites but the one that will help you the most is www.parentsofallergichildren.org It made me think of allergy because you state that EVERY TIME that he throws up hes had a glass of chocolate milk so it stands to reason chocolate milk but supect its the Milk. It amazed me and though wouldn't it be great if because of the allergy to milk and or chocolate milk the behaviour can also be a sympton of allergy. The trick to finding out is to withold milk,chocolate milk for 5weeks-----to replace the milk or rather the Calcium-switch to Soy milk-it comes in various flavors recommend the Vanilla Soymilk for his cereal and the Chocolate Soymilk is really good. You have to keep log-the day/date you stopped MILK(this includes Chocolate Milk and anything that comes from Milk---Soy also has Soy cheeses which are also very good-difficult to tell from the Milk cheese-Soy is also high in Calcium-can be found any Food store then note the vaious changes in his behaviour. Reason I though of allergy for am involved in Therapeutic Foster Care and had 1 child that had severe behaviour problems-very hyper,hit, abusive-hitting and thinking it funny and diagnosed as ADHD,and various Behaviour disorders but because like your child threw up milk and had read about children actually not being ADHD but allergic to certain foods and the allergy triggers anti-social behaviours. After the 5 weeks you re-introduce the milk and milk products incl choc.milk and again enter into kog day/date and note the behaviour changes as they coccur. I bet you'll see a big difference when he is not drinking MILK. But you do have to address the Behaviours as they occur and am hoping the change occurs soon after the milk is stopped. This is the age when they begin to assert themselves, attempting to declare their individuality and unfortunate for the parents also involves rebelling, a lot of rebelling ----NO beomes the Word. At this age when a undesired behaviour occurs no you will not hit ,for example and then a immediate timeout-ignoring him(brief for only 20 mos and the time spent not important but a consequence of being ignored because you are displeased will affect. It is effective to have a naughty place where he goes whenever he has negative behaviour and must stay there even if it means you physically putting him there a number of times(will be challenging)or if necessary stay there but your back turned then when very brief timeout is over he says Sorry-This has to be done every time he acts up and you onluy be succcessful if you are consistent and stick with it for eventually it works. There is a great book called-The Super Nanny-the one who has a TV Show and she is really good and the book is worth getting in effective methods to change behaviour -canbe bought Borders and major book stores for approx 17.dollars. Good Luck

Answer 7

My daughter can eat cheese and other processed dairy items with almost no problem but then gets nauseous and sometimes diarrhea when she drinks milk or has to much mozzarella cheese. Her pediatrician says it could be a mild form of lactose intolerance.
As far as the fevers...is your son teething...getting molars? That can cause fevers and even vomiting.
I have a couple friends who have had major behavioral issues with their children and honestly the major problem is not having consistent follow through. It could be that your son is looking for attention any way he can get it. It is very hard to follow through consistently but very rewarding when they get older and you don't have as many problems with them. Good Luck!!

Answer 8

good morning i not sure about ur country what it is time now but i sure here my country malaysia is morning here and cloudy nice days actually.. anyway
your question is simple but few thing u never mentioned.. about how his responding when u have visitor coming to ur house??? still as usual as u mention ??? or less down quite sometimes??
in this fact is really important why ? becos he felt that aways alone at home sometime he saw others family has few childrent to play unfortunately his not in this case his mind will change directly specially parrent is talking to him or teaching him. for me i dont think is work beside it just make it worse cos his mind is different abt what we thought about him.
so please beware in this situation is very bad for him make it change back as usual boy u can do so.. brings him out door more often take a traver to made him see that is our reality world life happen out's there myadvice u and ur wife arrange more travering oversea to make him understanding.
becos i'm the one father of my two little doughter is same with ur boy what happening with them..
remember dont push too far with his hate will result more bad situation changging. family is responsible to takecare of themselve answearing word is simple but facing true is different story hope u dont mind if my advice is wrong here. thank you

Answer 9

I was allergic to milk at that age. I could eat chocolate....and milk with cereal. If they gave me regular milk (white or chocolate) I throw it up, break out in a rash and run a fever. So he could still be allergic to milk....just not mixed with other things. In my case if it was mixed with something else....it didn't cause a reaction.

Answer 10

Search 123 Magic on the net. It's a great source of information and advice for kids who need behavior modification. I use it for both my kids and it works wonders. However, you have to be consistent and not use any other method.
You should definitely get the vomiting and fever checked out by his doctor.