The new english?
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
2006-11-15 14:30:32 · 19 answers · asked by fivelighters 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A Few Dollars more?
she'll cry just for a litttle, for a few dollars more
she'll lie just for a little, for a few dollors more
she'll take it and fake it just for a few dollars more
she'll show you her heart, then she show you the door
you know she lie just for a little, for a few dollors more
she'll fly just for little, for a few dollars more
she'll show you her heart, then she'll show you the door
strange thing can happen to you, you got so much you got nothing to do
2006-11-17 09:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent, but if someone from the European Commission reads this then your worst nightmares could come true
2006-11-16 08:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by billtheangler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant!
2006-11-16 01:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by andrew.shepherd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I like yu.. vud yu like to ride in my volkvagon, down ze Autoban, ats zixty fif ...?
or maybe yu like my Chevrolet coupee on the valley highway? ..oops that's French..
I speak both languages fluently, as you can see.
Either way, it would be easy for me, difficult for you...si?
2006-11-15 22:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by scrubbag 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool,
Very clever. The longest I've smiled for in a month : )
2006-11-16 00:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by nycgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I got sooooooooooooo lost! HAHAHA! Gave you a thumbs up!
2006-11-15 22:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Smo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my GOD I just cant stop laughing!!! What the HELL is he trying to say!!!
hehehehe hahahha hoohoohooohoohahahaha hehehehehe kha kha kha hehehe hahahahaha...heeelllpp meeeee i cant stop laughing!!!!
2006-11-15 22:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Das iz ver gut, ja.
2006-11-16 00:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by poetikliesense 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha!!! ziz iz very funy! ( i dont know i f i have done that right! but i thought i would get practising!) x
2006-11-16 04:27:09 · answer #9 · answered by m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-11-16 03:52:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋