my mom died 19 yrs ago today. i've been at peace with her death for years now, but i feel guilty for not always remembering the anniversary date. in my heart i do remember but do you do anything to commemorate the anniversary of someone you knew and loved?
2006-11-15 14:04:46 · 9 answers · asked by Ruth R 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
One of the gifts of healing is the relaxation of memories centered in grief. This is a good thing. It is a critical thing. These once sharp and painful memories recede, they are no longer the obsession of your every moment, but move to their proper place: a turning point that you will never truly forget.
So please do not feel worried if, after almost 20 years, your healing has brought you to hold your mother in your heart always, not just on one particular, special, but sad day. Be at peace. Enjoy life. I am sure that is exactly what she is doing now too.
2006-11-15 14:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad died on November 23, 1987. almost 20 years ago. ive never done anything special, but every ten years or so, the anniversary of his death falls on Thanksgiving day. Im not looking forward to Thanksgiving this year cause it just so happens to fall on this day. So what im gonna do this year is get his favorite drink, Old Milwaukee, (beer) and seein as how he was cremated, im gonna pour it in the water where his ashes were spread. My mom's ashes were spread there too, so im gonna fix her favorite meal and just dump it in the water. I know they will be greatful. And im happy that im gonna be with the ones i love. and i still love them too.
and about the not remembering thing, i dont remember the month day or year that my mom died. but rest assured i have 5 brothers and sisters and they remind me every time it comes around. Hint: you could put a special sticker on the anniversary day on a calander to help you remember. it worked for me. take care and good luck, i hope i was helpful.
2006-11-15 14:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by sherryw_1978 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On the anniversary of my father-in-law's death, our family and friends get together and have a potluck dinner. After dinner we go to the cemetery and share a bottle of his favorite drink, then we leave the rest for him, which is just a tradition in our family. We all take flowers and little mementos and put them around his headstone. When we have visited him for a while, we go home and look at pictures and spend time remembering what a wonderful man he was.
2006-11-15 15:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by mgn_kyle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are different. Obviously you loved your mother and you do remember her . . . . not just the day she passed, but often. She was a big, if not the biggest part of your life while she was here. Look up and smile at her . . . even think about her . . . and that is quite enough. She continues to live in you and that is ALL that matters. But please, by all means, don't feel guilty, or, don't let it bring you down I should say.
2006-11-15 15:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by Batracer04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my cousin, who is my best friend and only 18 was killed in a car accident 3 years ago Oct. 24th. there isn't a day that goes by i don't think about him. i tend to get real depressed around the anniversary. I try not to think about it but my denial is weakened especially on that day. a few of us do like to get together for his birthday and celebrate the fact that we had him in our lives for the short time he was here. why remember when they past on thats not the important part of their life.
2006-11-15 14:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by whatup 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself that day, that special day, to look at pictures or home videos or anything of them. Maybe look through her things and remember the days that she was alive. Every anniversary try to celebrate her life because she was given to God on that special day.
Just take your time.
2006-11-15 14:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry on your loss. Grandmothers are specific human beings. I lost my mom final year (Feb) and each holiday, birthday, and so on. it became right into a year of "firsts"; the 1st Memorial day, July 4th, and so on. without mom. My sister and that i made it a element to party each time shall we to attempt and shore one yet another up. And if we could no longer meet we would make certain to call. Do you have somebody you may connect with to offer one yet another ethical help? that's getting slightly less difficult now that that's been a a million year 9 months. think of approximately no count number in the adventure that your grandmother might prefer you to be unhappy and teary eyed with the aid of fact she isn't there. you recognize that she does not prefer to be the clarification on your melancholy. it would make her unhappy to think of of you being so unhappy. attempt to think of of each and every of the happy circumstances you and she or he had. next year it would nicely be only basically slightly less difficult to get contained in the time of the particular days. as quickly as returned, i'm sorry on your loss.
2016-10-04 00:36:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to church and say a prayer, or visit her gravesite with some pretty flowers. She's at peace now, I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel guilt over this.
2006-11-15 14:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by abbacchus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lost my xboyfriend 4 yrs ago we were still together wen he died. it is hard but it would b harder for you coz it was ur mum wat i try to do is ont he day is do sumthing or goe sumwhere we both used to go together, it helps a bit. try to go sumewhere or do sumthing that your mum always wanted to do or go.
2006-11-15 17:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋