How do I get him to propose?

Question

I've been dating my boyfiend for four years, we have been living together for over a year and we've been talking about marriage and starting a family since five monthes into the relationship. At first, the only reason for us not to get married that we both were not where we wanted to be carrerwise, but now we are and have been for monthes.

Just recently a mutual friend ask me when we were going to tie the knot. My boyfriend jokingly answer "in 2009 and she can pick the date". I'm sorry, but I don't want to wait three years. I'm getting older and I want to start a family within a couple of years.

I want to say "I need a ring by the end of 2007 or I'm out", but he isn't the type of guy to respond to threats or guilt trips. That would just push him away.

Help!

Answer 1

I was in your exact situation. Seems like the timing is never right, there's always something. Just tell him how you feel, and that you are ready to get this ball rolling. Don't give him an ultimatum b.c you are right that will just push him away. But definitely stress on the fact that you aren't getting any younger.

Answer 2

I don't think that you should push it to much on him, if he isn't one to respond to the threats, one day you may end up losing him to this topic. Just have patience, simply ask him, why he hasn't yet, he may have a reason, men have reasons same as women, when my husband and i were dating i was the same way, i said i don't want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend for the rest of our lives, he listened and simply told me i don't want to rush into it and would like to take my time and save the money to buy you the ring and simply make sure i am making the correct move, SO DON'T RUSH the more you rush the more he will question what the real thing is on marriage.IT ISN'T THE RING, NOR THE QUESTION. YOU need to keep the commitment and the trust going.

Answer 3

It is obvious that your boyfriend and you don't think alike. If both of you don't have the same vision about your future as a couple... sorry, it's going no where. My fiance and I got engaged on May of 2006 (after a month of dating) and we are going to get married on January 2007... Crazy isn't it? But it is what we BOTH want.

It was a mistake to live with him before getting married. You know why? Because he can leave you if he wants to whenever he wants to. I hope that is not the case. Girl, you need to talk to him really bad. Tell him what you want as a couple and then ask him: "What do you want?" Then compare and you decide what to do. IMPORTANT: Is he in your life because you depend on him (emotionally, sexually, economically, etc) or is he in your life because he complements you? I wish you the best.

Answer 4

hey just because you want to settle down right away doesnt mean he does! You have got to get your wants and needs seperated. How bad you want to spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend? From the tone of your question the only thing you want right now is to get tied down and fast. Why dont you sit him down and explain how you feel, your plans about when you want to start having children, he will get the hint and chance are he will be straight up with you. He may be waiting for the right time, he may feel like there is no rush and that he doesnt need to even think about proposing yet or on the other hand he may be just sticking it out with you because you have both gotten comfortable in the relationship. SO talk to him, not to people on yahoo answers, cuz you dont want him to propose just because you have guilted him into it, or any other bullsh*t reason, you want him to propose because he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Good luck with that.

Answer 5

You are exactly right...if you give him an ultimatum, chances are he will leave you. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years also and we aren't planning on getting married until 2009 or 2010...finances just aren't in shape for it and won't be until then...for the type of wedding we want. It is better to just wait and be happy that you have someone to lvoe for right now. It will happen when the time is right.

Answer 6

Well, you can't get him to propose. You can't just get a leopard to change its spots! If you give an ultimatum, you have to be willing to deal with the consequences - to walk away if he doesn't do what you want. That's probably not a good idea.
Since you are living together, he really has no reason for marriage - you are giving him all that he wants. Since you didn't hold out for marriage first, he has no need to get married any time soon. Sorry, you made your bed....

Answer 7

i think you should just sit down with him and tell him.and let him know how you are feeling and if you can not sit down with the person you love to talk to him about some thing that is very imporant to you then i don't think you should be with that person.also think that if you really feel that he should ask you to marry you by 2007 that you should say it.i mean being with some one for that long of a time i think that he should have least ask you if he really wants to be with you.but the best think is sit down and tell him like it is good luck
oh one more thing maybe he has not ask you cause he is scared to and he may think things will change if you do get marry.

Answer 8

I don't think it's working to make him to propose. If he doesn't ask you, then he is not ready for it.

Why don't you ask him to review your relationship together? About your future plan? Don't thread him. Just tell him that you want to get married, and compare it with his wish. If you don't like it, then it means you should move on...or hang on (if you really love this guy, with a consequence: prepare that your wish to get married as soon as you want it to be, won't be realized).

Good luck!

Answer 9

you could propose to him...

i really think that you shouldn't expect a ring...how about expecting a marriage. i understand a ring makes it "official" but why not if you want to say something, "i want to be married before i turn XX" and just go with it...don't threaten him....because i mean, ultimately you are only staying with him for a diamond...otherwise you're leaving? i would say "i want to be married before" and if you get nothing out of him...say "where do you see us in 2 years"

Answer 10

i would advise you to go ahead and pop the big question to him. There is nothing wrong with a girl popping the question. And this way, you can show a tad bit of maturity by being bold enough to go after what you want.