what do I do my 3 year old son, doing masturbation....?

Question

He did it twice to the sofa and chair, he was upset when i found out and I discracted him with toys, but he was crying dan pushing me away. I just don't know what to do if he does it again. how long is this habit going to last? until they grow up.... please help

He was watching children cartoon when I found out. and then he was running away from me when I saw him did it.

Answer 1

He does it because it feels good. Don't panic about it. It is nothing to be upset about, but you do need to teach him that it is something that he does in private. The habit will probably last for the rest of his life - it is part of human nature.

These sites should help you put it in perspective. Don't worry too much about it. Most children masturbate at one time or another.

Answer 2

That habit will last his whole life. He might not always do it, but he will probably masterbate through out his lifetime.

You need to tell him his private parts are only for touching in private, and then allow him to do it when he is in bed at night or any other private times he has. If you catch him doing it at other times tell him its not private time right now and help him play something else, or let him go to his room and have private time. YOu dont want him to think this habit is bad or naughty, it could effect him sexually as an adult if he was told it was dirty.

I found a great link for you, I hope it helps

Oh and just because he is doing it to the chair or sofa doesnt mean he has seen that done. It feels good. Kids arent stupid. If they try something once and it feels good they will keep doing it. I had a friend who used to use her doll blanket to satisfy herself when she was a very young child, she never saw it done, she just knew it was good

Answer 3

I went through the same thing with my son at around the same age, he is now eight. When i mentioned it to a mothers group i was attending, the health nurse was there, her advice to me was to tell him that is something you do when you are alone, if you would like to that you should go into your room. This way you are teaching him that it is a natural thing to do and not to be ashamed of his body, but also you are letting him now that it is a private thing that should not be seen by others.Do not be alarmed or let him know that you are uncomfortable with the situation because it is actually normal for children that age to explore their body.By drawing too much attention to the situation or punishing him for it he will possibly become ashamed of his body. He is a boy and i am myself am not sure if it will ever end but as long as you can teach him that it is a private thing you should only do when you are alone then it should hopefully relieve some of the anxiety you feel when you see him doing it.

Answer 4

You could be making him insecure with your naive reaction. You don't want him to get a complex. He might have done this in front of you to gauge your reaction of this thing you don't cuddle or pat like his hair, cheeks, or cute little butt. Express what a 'healthy boy' he is. Then, if he keeps playing with it, tell him to get himself to the bathroom, it goes without explanation, you should just act like he should be doing that in private. But, do nothing to shame him. Don't act ackward about it -- or he will be confused and your embarrasement will be his own. That's NOT natural.

Grown men will still walk right by their wives from the shower and casually drop their towel -- just trying to get a reaction or praise.

Answer 5

Some kids do this due to stress, others are just "exploring" their bodies. It's important not to make him feel bad about it and explain to him that it is not appropriate to do it in public, and that he needs the privacy of his room if he wishes to do it. If it becomed aggressive or worrying, I'd look into it a bit more seriously if I were you. I'd be a little concerned about why he's crying. Has he been in trouble for this?, Was he embarrassed?

Answer 6

I just had this conversation with my son's Dr yesterday (my son is 2). You just have to not make a huge deal out of it, but still tell him that it's not appropriate. I mean, let him play and explore himself while he's in the tub all he wants, but when he's out of the tub and has clothes on, it's not a nice thing to do.

By the way, it's completely normal!

Answer 7

My 4 year old plays with himself all the time. At first I was freaked out about it because I thought it was wrong. He does it to get himself to sleep, I am still a little concerned about it, but I feel that he isn't doin anything un-natural, its just that he is aware of his penis!

Answer 8

calm down. It's normal, he's probably just doing what he saw you doing before. Either that or the nanny or something he saw on TV. It's not a big deal. I wouldn't get all worked up by it.

Answer 9

It's perfectly normal, he is just discoverng himself. You can just distract him when you see him doing it.

As he gets older and keeps doing it, you'll have to tell him that is something he needs to do in his own room in private. You don't want to yell at him about it because it will make him think it's a bad thing, when really it is not.

but yeah, it's perfectly normal.

Answer 10

Dont not even let him know that you saw him! Its normal! Every baby does it! Look at all that time they spent in a diaper. They are trying to figure out what it is. All of my children did it. Dont ever yell at him for it. He just wants to know what it is. Especially a little boy. He is probally getting a 'woody' when he goes potty and he wants to figure out why that happens. It doesnt last that long he will out grow it soon! Hang in there please!