How do you confess your feelings for someone that is taken?

Question

I know the most amazing woman in the world. She is beautiful, smart, and funny. Problem is that she is with a guy that treats her horribly. For example, he dropped his olive on the floor and was embarassed, so he picked it up and made her eat it in front of everyone so it would take away his embarrassment. When I talk to her I am shy and can't seem to approach her and she seems to love him.... do I just leave things as they are, or do I say what I feel?

Answer 1

are you friends with her? if so, then maybe you could hang out one day, just you two, and tell her you enjoy her friendship and dont want to ruin that, but you feel like she is a wonderful person and deserves much more than the guy can give her. see how she reacts and then maybe you could let her know, that if she ever needs someone you will be there. but just so you know... if you are friends, this could ruin it. but the guy sounds like a dick so SOMEONE needs to say something.

Answer 2

I've been there. Expressing your feelings is best done in a subtle nonembarassing way that will not draw attention to her or you. Get her a card and express yourself in a paragraph or two. Don't talk about her situation, just talk about how you look at her and how easy it would be for you to fall for her. Talk about her and the way you see her. You can't put yourself between her and her other relationship, but you can share how you feel about her. Try to steer clear of words like "love" and "desire", and lean more towards stuff like, "I think the world of you." and "I can't explain how or why I get so happy when I'm in the same room with you." Keep it clear and simple. Write it so she can read between the lines clearly.

Make sure she gets the card where she can read it privately and nobody else will unexpectedly catch her with it (namely her boyfriend). My approach was to walk up to her when she was alone and say, "I've been trying to tell you something for a long time, can't seem to get out when I'm with you or get you alone long enough to talk to you...so I put my thoughts in writing." Hand her the card and walk away. If she wants to talk about your feelings, then believe me she will. The card angle gives her the idea of responding to you the same way. She may give you a heartbreaking card in return explaining to you that she thinks of you only as a friend...blah blah blah....

Once you've handed off the card..it's done. If she never ever brings it up again....you have two choices. First choice, probably the best choice, is to just assume she isn't interested. Second, you can ask her simply when she's alone, did you get a chance to read the card? You've cornered her into giving you some type of answer to work with to form an idea of what she's thinking of.

My case it worked out nicely and her and I have become great friends. We explored the relationship thing for a bit, but found that we were meant to be better friends than we were....but not more than that.

Remember the card is meant to give you the opportunity to express yourself and flatter her with all the compliments you've been thinking...and haven't said. Even if she isn't interested in you....she will enjoy the compliments. Don't be too weird in the note and come across as a stalker or psycho...just simple and easy.

Answer 3

Try to get over your shyness and talk to her more. Once you are closer, don`t tell her any feelings you have for her right away. It might freak her out. Just tell her that she shouldn`t let this guy treat her like this. Basically, push her to break up with him, but do it subtly. If she does, then give her some time and be there for her before telling her how you feel. If she doesn`t, you can either keep being friends with her or not, thats your choice.

Answer 4

This guy is OBVIOUSLY a jerk, and she might deserve better. (I say might because I do not know her, obviously).

I think, you should try letting the relationship run its course until you can stand it no longer. And in the meantime, become someone she can turn to for support and guidance.

Maybe something will happen one day that will make her see the error of her ways (or you could inadvertently show her) and then she will be glad you have always been there for her.

Answer 5

Anything I've ever read on the subject of guys who like women who are dating men who treat them like crap says that you have to let her discover for herself that the guy is a butthead. If you can deal with being a friend, that will put you somewhere in her vicinity if and when she comes to her senses. Don't hold your breath, though; and date other women who do not have boyfriends.

Answer 6

A relationship like that sounds like there is some type of abuse, whether it is completely emotional or physical is beyond me. This is your window of opportunity. You need to convince her that she is in a dead end relationship, and that you deserve better. But make sure to talk to her about her in private.

Godspeed

Answer 7

that sounds really strange that she would put up with abuse like that olive situation.

sadly, confessing your feelings towards her won't likely change anything if she's convinced that she loves Mr Olive.

you could start by asking her why she puts up with that type of abuse, and see what she has to say.. could be she has serious mental problems.. hard to say..

Answer 8

Just leave it the way it is but subtley make your feelings known and try and be in the right spot at the right time

Answer 9

Hey...honey, she's not married to him yet rite..so I advise you - MAY THE BEST MAN WIN....!
Give her some option she may surprised you!

Answer 10

let her know you think highly of her with out hitting on her.