Me and my boyfriend have been dating for close to 3 years. I've always been attracted to good guys. When we first started dating he never drank to my knowledge. But now that he's in college he drinks all the time. I don't like it and I don't want him to drink but he just says he does it moderately. Yet when I call him during one of his drinking spells he can't remember the next day that I called him the day before. What do I do? I never wanted to be with a guy that drinks and now I happen to love one.
2006-11-15 12:40:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hold an intervention on him.
2006-11-15 12:42:32 · answer #1 · answered by yeppers`peppers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that since you have been together 3 years, it wasn't even legal for him to drink till now. College is a place where most students experiment with drinking, etc. and if you are still in high school you need to worry about yourself and what you are going to do when you go to college.
Most people drift apart when one goes off to college. It's part of the natural progression in life.
2006-11-15 12:44:37 · answer #2 · answered by art_tchr_phx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a rough one....and i can say i have been where you are now.....in life when you set your boundaries it is up to you to make people respect them. If you dont like to be with a person who drinks if you start making exceptions now....you will have to deal with it for the rest of your life. You need to let him know, you're not feeling his new habit and if he loves you, and values your 3 year relationship he will quit. If he cant than he cant have you and his drinks! Hope that help - harsh but true!
2006-11-15 12:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to be with a guy who drinks, then let him go. You will not be able to stop him. He's having black outs if he can't remember what happens while he's drinking. He needs help that you can't give him. If you're going to stay with him then you should join ALANON. It's for people who has family members and love ones who are alcoholics. Lots of people have beome drug addicts and alcoholics while attending college. If you chose to stay with this guy, you have a long unhappy road ahead of you.
2006-11-15 12:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you're not comfortable with his drinking, and that blacking out and not remembering what happened the day after is NOT DRINKING IN MODERATION LOL For a man, I think drinking in moderation means 4 drinks (as in, 4 wine coolers, 4 12oz beers, etc) in one sitting, or one night. If he refuses, tell him that you can't be with someone who drinks to excess, and give him an ultamatum if you have to, to choose between you and his drinking. Good luck! it's a tough situation to be in
2006-11-15 12:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run! I am an alcoholic, sober now for 17 years but still struggling almost daily. This is a potential time bomb ticking. You claim to "love" him, if he is worth a crap he will get and stay sober. If he doesn't then he really does not have the same feelings for you. You really see yourself dealing with a drunk for a husband and father of your future children? Hope you don't mind supporting him! If he gets sober for a year maybe he is worth a chance... first slip up....RUN!
2006-11-15 12:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by G T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel about people drinking. Ask him if he can change and stop drinking because it might hurt the relationship. Tell him nicely though. Try to work it between you and him. communication is the key here.
2006-11-15 13:01:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you can either stay with a guy who drinks, or you can end it and meet a man who doesn't drink. It's his choice to get loaded, and your choice to be with a drinker or not. Love is beside the point.
2006-11-15 12:42:13 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do women have such issues with men drinking? It is what we do - kind of like women shopping and buying shoes and watching "Dancing With The Stars."
2006-11-15 12:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by irish_jimmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stop. If he does not listen take the drinks away
2006-11-15 12:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by BENDER IS THE BOMB!!! (Fav show) 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get out now before he starts abusing you physically while drunk. men tend to be violently abusive when they drink to that kind of "stupidor." unless he quits totally, of course..
2006-11-15 12:45:34 · answer #11 · answered by yoyo l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋