i have 4 children 12yrs 11yrs 5yrs and 4yrs..they are allways fighting!! all day long it's "he has this ,she get's to do this" i have tried everything to get them to get along...anyone have any ideals?
2006-11-15 12:02:23 · 8 answers · asked by momandkids_2006 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You have to work this problem from the top,and work your way down.
Start with the 11 and 12 yr olds.Let them know that they need to set an example for the younger ones.Being 11 and 12 yrs old,this might be confusing for them.Do the oldest have chores? I would hope so in a household of that size! Explain to them that they can pass on some of the more "childish" chores to the younger siblings by taking them under their wings and showing them how those jobs are done.Also explain to the older siblings that authority like that comes with added responsibility,especially if they expect to enjoy more priveleges.
You have 2 sets of kids.....a set of pre-teens,and a set of ankle-biters.Your best bet is to delegate authority.Make it clear to ALL of the kids that older ones are allowed to give guidance,but that they aren't the ultimate authority.
If , for some reason, these kids have no chores then it's time to give these idle little hands something to do! Kids , left to their own devices , will by nature revert to a state of anarchy. It's your job as a parent to see that they have some structure in their lives.Let the kids know that they have to follow a routine.No play time or popsicles until all the toys are picked up.No video games if the beds aren't made,and the homework isn't done.
Set rules,and stick by them without fail! If you let the kids think that they can rule the roost by wearing you down with constant bickering,then they will continue to act that way.
2006-11-15 12:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by Danny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like there all biding for your attention at the same time and the only way they are getting it is to be negative towards each other try doing things together cooking, house work ,gardening, set them there own task folding there own clothes what ever!! but with you or your partner if fighting starts have a time out place (the Gage to time out is a minute for every year of there life) once they see they're missing out on good attention and the others are enjoying time with you it should work play together as a family don't leave them for long periods of time to play together as this will just cause problems try have a time that you just spend with the little ones best time is the night time routine dinner bath calm down cuddle and hot drink on the sofa no TV then when calm off to bed with another story no TV and sleep, then spend the next part of the evening with older children helping with home work or just some quality time together once they know they don't have to be naughty to get your attention you should have a calmer house you'll have to be strong and try not to give bad behavior your attention but i promise if you stick with it and show them you have boundaries that need to be respected you'll have a loving family again GOOD LUCK
2006-11-15 22:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by tiggerira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the kids interested in each others activities and get involved WITH them more often and create a good bond. :) My 6 children have no fighting problems, but we are together everyday and know that fighting isn't going to solve our issues, talking about them might though! Good Luck!
2006-11-15 14:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have 4 younger brothers and sisters my mother has the same problem with them she's found that keeping the seperate (rooms toys clothes) helps...have names on everything so you know for sure what is whos and if they don't get along tell them they can't play together eventually they'll get bored and realize they have to get a long in order to have fun together again
2006-11-15 12:06:04 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF THEY HAVE TIME AND ENERGY TO FIGHT
THEY CAN SPEND THAT TIME AND ENERGY HELPING
MOTHER WITH THE CLEANING OF THE HOUSE AND YARD
SO SIT THEM DOWN AND SET THE RULES IF YOU HEAR THEM BREAK THE RULES GIVE BOTH OF THEM A CHORE
THEY WILL GET TIRED OF SPENDING THEIR SPARE TIME
CLEANING
2006-11-15 12:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by helper 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i 13 my sis is9 and my bro is 6 i hate them theres nothing my mom can do to change that
2006-11-15 12:12:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my sisters are just like that. It kids. They will learn. My mom just tells me and my sister about how she and her sister fought, then how she moved far away, and now she wished she didn't fight with her so often.and how she misses her so much.
2006-11-15 12:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by sammydoobean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's called reality, coming from one of six, i would say that stuff sounds mild
2006-11-15 12:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by hell oh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋