My bf and I have been together for 5 years. We were high school sweethearts, and I love him very much. He is my best friend, we have great chemistry, and I get along with his family well. The only problem is that his career is going to require him to be gone, on a ship, without a conistent phone, for t least 11 weeks at a time. I know he could get a shore job but he doesn't want to, and it is becming more and more apparent to me that I am having a very hard time being happy for him. I am supposed to see him for the first time since August, tomorrow. And I am supposed to go with he and his family for Thanksgiving... Part of me wants to run away and not see him at all- while he's been away, just slip away from it all, instead of seeing him again and strting over.... But I know that that will make me crazy. I miss him so. What should I do?
2006-11-15 11:48:27 · 13 answers · asked by nycgirl2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If this is really his dream to be out on a boat for months than you shouldn't try to stop him or make him feel guilty for going. He will just end up resenting you for it later. If this is something that you just can't live with, a deal-breaker, then you just may have to let him go. It doesn't mean you don't love each other but believe it or not sometimes that is just not enough. Good luck.
2006-11-15 11:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jason S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are very tough. If you feel that you are finding yourself getting angry and resenting him for the decision he has made regarding his career, then it's time to move on. A relationship that develops resentment will only get worse over time.
Otherwise you must be prepared to stand by his side if you choose to continue on with this relationship. It can be done, but only if there is communication, trust, honestly & patience between the two of you.
2006-11-15 19:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by Pearl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient. i can compare a bit, not to tht extent tho. i have a girlfirned (now fiance tho) who i've been with for almost 6 years. she lives about 3 hours away now. she picked tht school while we were goin out, but she wanted to go there so much. i kept tellin her how hard it was gonna be her bein tht far away, and times have been tough. she's been there for 2.5 years now. it's hard, and it makes you feel real unimportant whn they make a decision like tht w/o u. it's like, how long do i have to be with u in order for u to decide for the BOTH of us, not just for u? well, it just takes patience. i mean, it might get too hard, and u might have to call it off. but here's wht u should do:
almtamatums suck, but give him an indirect one. tell him how hard it is on u him bein gone like tht, and tht u think u might have to break up because u cant take it. it's not comin out and say "we're done if u keep doin this," but it's the same kinda thing. but it's true, and tht's wht matters. it is hard. and if he wants to keep doin it, then tht'll show u his level of devotion, and tht's important info n e way. but if he stops, then it'll do the same.
your life is too short to spend unhappy.
if u ever need someone to talk to about this, feel free to email me at john@hw7online.com
2006-11-15 19:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by HW-7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
navy jobs are tough. he is probably making more though going out to sea. and one question do you have a job? if you have a job then that changes the situation. but if you dont just be happy he's giving you money. but ill presume you have a job. you love him dont leave him. you like his family that is good. and also you'll find things you like to do soon or later when he goes away try a computer game or something.
2006-11-15 19:51:50 · answer #4 · answered by question man 911 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what in your heart, and I don't mean to sound vague, but you should let yourself guide you, not what anyone else thinks. If you feel that he is a really great guy with no choice but to take the job to support himself, I'd say give him a chance.
But ultimately, its your decision.
2006-11-15 19:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by MT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...you could confide in him, tell how you feel i know this sounds hard sweetheart....if u cant talk to him write him a letter...love will always win out....and love never does run smoothly. he'll respect you and may even be touched by you feelin this way. good look sweetheart xxx
2006-11-15 19:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Gabrielle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes no matter how much you love eachother-couple just dont work out. this could be one of those reasons. long distance relationships are very hard, and if you're still young you might want to explore other options.
2006-11-15 19:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by sweetybabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to look happy and if he truly loves you he should realize that he has made a mistake and stay behind with you.
2006-11-15 19:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by sakura7blossoms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont run away trust me you gonna lose him if you do
see if its possible for you to tag along
talk to him about you being scared tell
i wish you the best
2006-11-15 19:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by sarahperez1105 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should talk to him when he get backs from his 11 week sail and tell him how you feel.
2006-11-15 19:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by sugar n' spice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋