Should I tell my sister in law that she is engaged to a convicted criminal?

Question

I found out something shocking about my wife sisters boyfriend.......What should I do?

Earlier today I saw a post on here where a woman was talking about hiring a private eye to investigate her daughters boyfriend. Somebody mentioned the link http://background-records.net/ as a good place to find info online. Well I checked out the site and entered my sisters in law's boyfriends name and found out that he was convicted of armed robbery in 1999. I know this is him because the name, date of birth, and address are all the same. I am sure my sister in law doesn't know (and I am damn sure her dad doesn't know).......should I tell my sister in law or her dad? I don't know how to handle this situation

Answer 1

i suggest you tell your wife, the two of you could then decide on your next steps. your wife surely knows your in-laws better than you hence can more or less predict how they are going to react to the news. and when you do tell them, don't make assumptions. first, who knows, maybe your sister-in-law knows about her fiance's background and have just accepted him for who he is now. finally, try to gather more facts on the matter, if your are wrong or the records you gathered by some eerie way turned out to be somebody else's, then accusing someone of something as serious as armed robbery can be very damaging - not just to that person's reputation, but also to your relationship with him and the family that connects you guys.

Answer 2

Wow! How could she be getting ready to marry this person and NOT know that he's been convicted or armed robbery? Or maybe she does know but chooses to leave that in the past. Maybe the guy has changed his ways. That's a ugly situation. Tell you wife first and let her be the one to mention it to her sister (or their dad). It could be that she already knows and you bringing it up would make you a "trouble maker". Good luck on that one!!

Answer 3

You should tell her. I was dating a guy for 2 years and a friend of mine showed up while this guy was at my home (I hadn't seen this friend in about 1 1/2 years). My friend called me outside to talk to him and he told me that he and a couple people had checked that sex offender website once for people in our area and this guy was on it. I checked and low and behold there he was. Convicted of lewd acts with a minor (I had a 4 year old daughter at the time)!!! Needless to say it was over between us. Having said that, people make mistakes maybe this was a bad decision on her boyfriends part but something she should be made aware of so she can make her own decisions. She may be upset that you searched for him but you can tell her that you were entering a bunch of names and then when you entered his, his name came up with a hit. Good Luck

Answer 4

It's a sticky situation, because you checked it. But I think it's better to ask your sister in law about it. Or simply just tell her about the show and tell her how great it is to know someone's criminal past before having a serious relationship with.

Answer 5

You must be really concerned about your sister in laws relationship, if you paid to find out what he is about! You really should talk to him and tell him that he needs to tell your sister in law and her father...or you will do it. However if he hasn't been in trouble since then and he treats her well then you should just leave the relationship alone.

Answer 6

I think you should confront your sister-in-law's boyfriend first. Ask him about it; get your facts straight before you blurt out to someone that he's a criminal. If he does confess I think you should tell her if he doesn't. This is something important that she should know about. If you don't have the heart to tell her if he was a criminal, talk to her mother or father about it, and ask them to talk to her.

Answer 7

Didnt you just post this question a few days ago? Either way- you have to pay to use that site so it isnt any good....

if you were for real then yeah you should tell her.

Just checked your questions you have asked that are on file- and it seems you are just advertising for this site...

Answer 8

Tell your wife. She should handle it from there. Yes, your sis in law should know. Do not tell dad, she may choose to tell him (or not) when she finds out.

Answer 9

You have gotten yourself in a pickle by being nosy... You should tell the boyfriend what you know and give him an opportunity to come clean.

Answer 10

it was almost 8 years ago - and you don;t know that he hasn;t told her. Poeple change - chances are she does know and has choosen not to mention it because it was a long time ago, in a different part of his life. We have all done things in our past we are not proud of.