Sister issues...Long, but need advice.?

Question

I have two sisters. My older sister & I don't get along. My younger sister & I have always gotten along and been very close. For the last 4 years, they have lived in San Fran and my little sister has worked for my older sister as her nanny/housekeeper. Recently, my younger sister decided to move to Seattle to pursue a degree at Univ. of Wash. When she got here, she got depressed and wanted to go back to Cali. Both my sisters have a history of mental illness (older sister-depression, younger sister-anxiety). Now neither of them will talk to me, because they blame me for this whole thing. I'm left here wondering what the heck I did wrong. I expect this from my older sister, but not from my younger sister. I think she needs to seek some professional help to deal with her anxiety, but she refuses and now won't talk to me. What should I do? I feel so helpless.

Answer 1

Dont worry dear they are both going to be traumatized from there own problems and they are going to take it out on you, you did nothing wrong and when they are through this hard time they will realize that. You have only tried to help them and they will see that you have to just let them go through this before they realize that.

Answer 2

I also find myself wondering if you encouraged the younger sister to leave a situation she had been in for 4 years to come live near you. Was she unhappy in her living situation with your older sister? Four years is a long time to work as a nanny and moving from the kids must have been traumatic for everyone. Seattle is very different from Cali and she could just have missed home, but that doesn't explain the anger towards you. I am wondering if there is more to this story.

Answer 3

I have two sisters also, and I'm the middle, so I understand where you're coming from. The funny thing about having a larger family is that there's more room to shift the blame. It's a lot easier to consider it someone elses problem than your own, and I think that's what both your sisters are doing. I'd say you shouldn't break contact with them, but maybe give them a bit of breathing room. Let them know you're there and supporting them, but don't go running to their immediate aid unless they call for it. Meanwhile, if you have other family, you might want to talk to them about this. Good luck!

Answer 4

The guy gives me the creeps. Why on earth is your sister talking to him? Have you talked to her? If she's not listening, talk to your parents or Alex. Or if she has a really kind, caring friend that she respects, get them to talk to her. Maybe someone she looks up to. A teacher? A school counsellor, if she hasn't been to one already, because they're specially equipped to deal with teenagers. Maybe you should take time to be with her. Do something fun with her, go to the beach or if you know any nice, decent girls her age, introduce her. Maybe she could get into a good crowd. And DO NOT let her go to the music festival. You could always threaten the guy as well. Threaten to call the police on him if he doesn't leave your sister alone. Does your sister read? Give her an awe-inspiring book. Get rid of her video games. Get your parents to block facebook on her computer. Unless you share a computer, then just delete her account if you can hack into it and tell her she's not allowed facebook until her grades improve. I hope you get through to her. Good luck!

Answer 5

Not much you can do but leave it alone. Let them be. I know it's hard when it's family but family will do you worse then strangers sometimes. Your sisters have issues that they need to work out on their own. You can't help them and you will wear yourself out trying. If they want to speak with you again then they will come around. If not then oh well. You did your best as a sister and you have to make peace with that. As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and feel good about the kind of sister you have been to them then that's all that matters.

Answer 6

Sounds like maybe your older sister influenced your younger one and there you are trapped in the middle. I would try either by 3 way calling or in person, sitting them down and laying all of your cards out on the table to find out why everything has happened and why you are made to feel guilty about this. Good luck..

Answer 7

Were you the one who encouraged your younger sister to move and pursue a degree? It sounds as if you were the one which is now why they are both blaming you.

You probably think you meant well, but were you just a little bit selfish and competitive with your older sister about the younger one's affections?

The best thing to do is accept them for who they are and they will do the same for you.

Answer 8

they are just jealouse that you dont have a mental illness.
your sister(older)might have too do somthing with the younger one.
you did one thing wrong.
you letted your older sister hanging in anger when you knew she had a mental illness.
you gotts understand that depression triger
sudden anger and blame
sudden spead talking
spendeing money when she doesnt need too.
yelling
throwing objectes
jealousey
physical attack
depression can lead too heart deasies.

be careful...
you have too be nice too both of your sister if you want your problem soloved.

Answer 9

Well, you obviously aren't going to get answers out of them, so try talking to someone else who might know what's going on.
If that's not possible, just let them figure it out on their own, and maybe they'll eventually come to you for help. I also am the middle of three sisters, and though I know next to nothing about you and your sisters, these things usually don't last forever.
Good Luck!! :)

Answer 10

Your sisters' mental health is a serious issue, and the only thing you can do is pray...prayer changes things and sometimes it changes us, but that is OK and you need to be open to everything in order to improve your relationship with them, right? I pray each of you can grow and mature in your feelings for each other and prayerfully remember that blood is thicker than water. Prayers =)