How can I stop my 2 year old daughter from hitting my 8 year old daughter?

Question

I have heard of the terrible two's but since she turned two in Aug. I have noticed her hitting more and more. She hits her 8 year old sister and I try to seperate them for a while or give the little one a one minute time out but she continues to hit her whenever she feels she doesn't like something she is doing.

I need some serious answers , I don't want answers telling me to hurt her in anyway.

I want to instill a sense of responsibility in her actions and direct her attention to something more constructive.

Nanny411 please help!

Thanks

Answer 1

Good for you for not wanting to hurt her back! I can't believe so many suggest injuring a child to teach a lesson! Hurting her back will only reinforce the message that hitting is okay. "If they can hit me, I can hit them.”

She gets attention and feels powerful when she hurts her sister, be it positive or negative, it is still attention. Help her to feel powerful by saying things like “You did that by yourself! You can jump super high! You stacked every block! You used so many colors on you picture!” These phrases are great confidence builders, great ways to show positive attention, and great ways to help her feel powerful.

Help her feel like the “big girl.” She can help you with things around the house. Make sure you take time everyday to show you're love. When the sister is away, read her a story, do an art project, play a game. She will love the attention and feel proud to help you!

The best thing you can do to stop this is use a natural consequence, i.e., if she hits your daughter, you do not want her to be around your oldest. The next time she hits her, rush to your oldest daughter and empathize. “Ouch! That hurt you! You must be so (upset, mad, hurt, angry). Let’s me give you some hugs and kisses to help you feel better.” Shut your daughter out. She will not like being ignored. You can also be overly dramatic when your goes near her sister. Move her away and say “I’m worried you might hit! You can play when you’re ready to be gentle. Have the oldest tell her “Don’t hit me! I will not play with you if you are going to hit me!” It is a very powerful message coming from another child.

I would also empathize with her after a hitting incident. "You must have felt very (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated) when you hit your sister. What can you do next time instead?" She will learn to express his feeling rather than hurt. Hope this helps!

Answer 2

Give your eight year old loads of attention cuddles etc...when the two yr old is smacking she will soon realise that smacking doesn't get her attention.

Distraction is also an excellent technique, have some ideas ready to spring out when an event is going to happen to change the situation.

It is very difficult i dont know how much your two yr old understands or how developed her vocabulary is but this and attention seeking (this does not in any way mean you do not give her enough attention in the first place) are usually the causes.

You can also buy some story books that describe with pictures why we dont smack people.

Hope this helps x

Answer 3

ok ,try this ask her why and do the how would you feel if she did that 2 you trick,its the oldest one in the book but it works for kids herage and tell her its wrong and you should never do it and if you stil do it then i have 2 take privlages away.[by now shes old enough 2 get punished] then f u do it again then you will be in your room with out diner .[i knpow it hard 2 do so but in life she has 2 do things she doesnt have 2 do,and its not considderd child abuseif you take away dinner for pnisment,but it is if u take away all of the 3 courses for a long time][besides shes groing up and you have 2 asscep that]so i hope that works.

Answer 4

When my nephew started the hitting phase, we had a rule... "You hit, you sit." Whenever he hit someone, we would say the line calmly and take him to a chair his size and have him sit in time-out for 5 minutes. After a few times, he learned that he would much rather not hit than miss out on things by sitting.

Reminding your daughter when she's calmer that "we don't hit," is also a good idea, and reward her when she approaches conflict in a positive manner.

Remember... at 2, she's frustrated, doesn't have the language or communication skills to get her point across, so she's modeling another behavior.

Good luck... hope that helps!

Answer 5

When she hits remove her from the room and you should tell her in this family there is not hitting.

Then if/when she does it again remove her from the remove repeat the rules and then the rest of the family should not interact with her for about 5 minutes.

Children want to be a part of things.

Answer 6

I wouldn't consider you a hypocrite, just explain that this is how it feels to the puppy when she hits. I'm sure I'll get a thumbs down for that reply but honestly you need to nip it in the bud before the puppy decides to bite back.

Answer 7

I wouldn't say that u hurt her 2 the point where she's like crying big time but tap her on her hand & tell her stop...or take something away from her that she likes & hit it & see what she does lol...i kno it sounds crazy but try it. I did it 2 my little cousin with her Barney toy & she started 2 cry soooo....yea

Answer 8

You just need to have your 8 year old daughter pop her hand and tell her its not right for her to hit her, and that it hurts her feelings. Maybe she will understand that she is hurting her sister. If not then you need to hit her and tell her not to hit her sister and to apologize!

Answer 9

Time outs

Answer 10

All that separation, time out, and taking away privileges stuff never works. It is time to whip her butt or as in the nice term, give her a "spanking".