Help with intercourse for first-timer?

Question

I've just started going out with a girl, and I'm a virgin. Some things worry me, other things don't. There is one thing about sex that worries me, and I'd like some advice on it.

It's really to do with the missionary position. Firstly, I'm worried that I'll crush her. I'm a little over weight, but that's not the point. It's more to do with men being bigger/heavier than women.

Secondly, I'm worried about keeping a rhythm. I don't intend to be drunk, but even sober it worries me.

Lastly, if I lie on top of her, do I do it skin-to-skin or should there be a 'gap' between us if you see what I mean. I'm worried about getting started in my thrusts.

I thought that we could do other positions, but we'd probably do missionary eventually, so it's best to get things sorted.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

lol---just relax and go with the flow---it will happen naturally

Answer 2

Well, if you're worried about your weight, let her get on top. She can control the movement and you won't worry about crushing her.

In the missionary, you can hold yourself up with your hands or lean on your elbows if you don't want to "crush" her. YOu don't want to flop right on top of her. She has to breath during the act, you know.

And don't worry about rhythm. You will find it. It will come naturally. But try to keep it slow and steady. Women generally take longer than men to climax so if you take it slower, you won't be done WAAAY before she is and leave her "high and dry". There are other things you can do to take care of her needs first, but since this is your first time, I'm not sure you're ready for oral. It takes some practice and knowing where exactly to go to get the job done. if you want, do a little internet search on "cunninglingus" (not sure if I spelled it right). It might show you where the special button is :P

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Oh, and to all the people saying he's too young: Where does it say how old he is? It is possible for someone to be over the age of 20 and a virgin, even a guy. Geez, you people and your preconceived notions...

Answer 3

tell that nasty bi t ch to roll over and jus lay there dont worry bout her feelings....... sorry had to do it. Hey man i understand where your coming from im a big guy (6'1 280) and my girlfriend is really small but you gotta figure if she let you get that far its not gonna bother her. Second a gap works but your gonna get tired of holding yourself up and foget about the pleasure so jus keep a small gap that way if you do lay down for a bit she doesnt think your gettin tired just tryin to be romantic. As for the rhythm listen to hear breathing start off slow as she breathes harder go a little bit faster but the key is to change it up. think about music if all music had the same rhythym would it be good. but if your truly worried about layin on top her and want a missionary style have her get on top on her back though or sit up with her in your lap facing you the sitting up one is very fun and girls find it sexy as well as romantic... good luck man email with question

Answer 4

I think that you should stop thinking so much into it, you will be fine. You are not going to crush her, just don't put all of your weight on her....hold yourself up a little bit so that you are not actually laying on top of her. And the rest will come natural. The more you worry about it the worst it will be...you have got too much anxiety about it....no doubt it is a big deal....but stressing won't help! You could try putting her legs on your shoulders that way you can sit up a little bit if you still feel self concious about it. You will look back and wonder why you were so worried about it.
Good luck! Hope it all turns out ok for ya!

Answer 5

seriously u made my day..i a little depressed..but i am totally fine..i like the part of "i don't intend to be drunk ,but even sober worries me" no disrespect..u know everyone has a first time.. some are better than others but most times it is very clumsy..there's always a normal scare of 1st time whatever you do.and sex is even more scary because it is sex..just take it calm and don't try to be Tyson beck ford in the bedroom,just let things happen you hormones would sort you out...start with traditional..it is step by step..lie on her ..n u won't be thinking about any advice..you don't think if not u won't enjoy anything...just be relax..n don't drink so you can remember it totally..it is embarrassing but how do u start beating embarrassing situations??good luck n have fun

Answer 6

If you're afraid of crushing her and you're a big guy, try propping yourself up on your elbows/forearms to lift your weight off her. This way your skin will still touch but you're not putting all the weight on her. This also opens up some room to kiss her while ya'll are getting busy.

I must say, rhythm is absolutely important. If it's your first time though, don't worry too much about it. It's supposed to be awkward!! You'll get the hang of it soon.

Just do what feels best to you and listen to her. Make sure you're not hurting her. Ask her if she's OK (have you ever seen that scene in Cruel Intentions where they do it for the 1st time??)

Asking her if she's OK is very romantic...means you care!

Answer 7

Dont worry about it Ian, you will NOT crush her while doing Missionary. When missionary is going down, the guys support them selves.

As far as rhythm, everyone has their own way of doing "it". Its really the pretty standard "in and out" thrusting type going on. Dont worry to much about it, when your doing the deed, your own Rhythm just comes to you.

The whole thing will come naturally. If you are comfortable with having skin on skin, do it.

Good luck to you and enjoy your entrance to the non-virgin world!

Answer 8

Don't worry about your first anxiety. Big men have had sex with small women for thousands of years and haven't crushed them to death. The human body is quite tough really.

Rhythm is something that comes with practice! Don't worry about it. If your girlfriend is more experienced then her rhythm will help you, but even if she isn't, just 'try it and see'.

The main thing is to relax yourself and relax her too if you need to. Smile. Laugh out loud if it helps. Maybe she is nervous too. When you are relaxed and in a good mood, then just explore what comes naturally. Try not to worry.

And if it's a disaster - well, first times often are (mine was), big deal, another big smile will see you through.

Answer 9

um.. i hate to say it matey but if you are that uncomfortable about the whole thing you aren't ready.. and you may cause other problems...

If you have just started going out with her and you are already thinking about sex then you aren't really in the right frame of mind..... you haven't even got used to each other yet... if she is the right girl for you to give it away to she will be understanding and will help you.. if it is her first time too then i reckon both of you will do better by taking it slowly.. there are other things to do than just sex... these things will help you get used to each other and as you get more relaxed.. and most probarbly horny... you both will progress...

a good time to practice with out actually doing it is whilst you are just laying on the bed having a good snogging session.. you will get used to laying next to her and you will be able to gauge your weight/position without the added pressure of doing it.

as you get used to each other you both can used to each others bodies.. if its her first time aswell she might appreciate a little time to get used the old trouser snake and like wise you will be able to get used to what she's like and maybe what to expect from the old badger... you'll find yourself progressing naturally without the do it now pressure...

when you do, do it, then you will work out the best rythem with her then.. trust me you'll know.. and if you dont she will let you know... as for positions... remember its not porn.. she most probarbly won't scream like a porn star with every touch so it doesnt mean your doing something wrong, especially on your first go.... so missionary is always the safe first timer.... and remember to make sure both of you are ready otherwise the only moaning you get won't be good.

and in the end.. dont worry about it.. when your both ready...the second time will be the better one.

good luck
Ps: stay safe and wear a rubber....as i bet you dont want a baby on your first try either.

Answer 10

Well, my advice for you would be, not to worry about anything because when that moment comes everything just sort of just happens... and here is a position that doesn't require much strength of your part and it's very pleasurable...Its call the "swinging chair" First the girl has to give you her back, sitting on top of your penis and using a rocking back and forth motion and you putting your hands on her hips to healp her keep the motion moving! as you can See you don't have to worry about your flexibility and your weight. She can also face forward (so u can see each others face) if you don't want her face her back toward you.

Answer 11

1. It is unlikely that you will crush her - unless you are morbidly obese - if she is uncomfortable put your hands on the bed either side of her head to take the weight off.

2. Most girls like it nice and slow, don't go too fast or hard. If it is your first time it will probably "pop out" a few times, don't worry just put it back in!

3. You should do it skin to skin unless you have really strong arm muscles. Otherwise you will be knackered! And it feels nicer to have body contact & kissing etc.

Good luck!