Have any adoptive parents has luck with parentprofiles.com? Did you make contact with birthmothers?

Question

We are early in the process of domestic private adoption and are wondering if it's worthwhile to post our profile on parentprofiles.com. If anyone has used this site, I would like to hear feedback, either good or bad! How long were you using the site before you had made contacts and did any of the contacts result in an adoption? I am just trying to research how we can effectively search for a birthmom when the times comes, which will be soon! Thanks.

Answer 1

Your attorney should be able to provide the most help for you. I was adopted as an infant myself, and the family law attorney connected my adoptive parents with my birth parents. Your attorney has much more in the way of resources than just websites, etc. to locate potential birth parents. If you don't have one yet, locate one. They will probably offer a free consultation for you to ask questions about their practice, about the procedures, about what to expect, etc.

Please, please don't make the same mistake my adoptive parents did, though. Make sure both of you are truly, completely ready for a child, and make sure you are absolutely prepared to accept that child through thick and thin and through whatever might happen. I was born with dyslexia, which wasn't diagnosed until I was in the 7th grade and had serious effects on my school performance. My adoptive father never wanted a girl and made it a point to make me feel as stupid as possible as often as possible. He, to this day, despite diagnosis from 3 independant doctors, does not believe that I'm dyslexic. I'm just "lazy". I'm not saying this in an attempt to get sympathy, I'm saying it to hopefully make you think carefully about what you're doing. A child, whether you give birth to him or her or adopt him or her, is forever. You will always be mommy and daddy to this child, regardless of whether or not you ever tell this child they were adopted.

Read through these boards in the various age groups and see what problems other parents are having with their children and ask yourself, what would I do in this situation? Sit down with your husband and make sure you agree with eachother on discipline issues. My adoptive parents constantly battled eachother over what methods of discipline to use.